Building Unlikely Bridges | Mustafa Nuur | TEDxLancaster
Knowing someone's story makes it hard to hate them, as demonstrated by the speaker who built "Experience Bridge" to facilitate direct, personal meals between strangers and refugees. This initiative counters xenophobia by emphasizing that shared experiences and sitting down with people, even those with opposing views, are the only ways to bridge divides. The project has seen over 11 refugee families participate, enabling 3,000 paid experiences to date.
## Speakers & Context
- Unidentified speaker, a refugee from Somalia who has lived in the current location for the past four years.
- The community is in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, noted as the "refugee capital of the United States."
- The speaker established the mission to highlight the refugee issue and stories to build understanding within the local community.
- Initial activity included writing op-eds in the local newspaper.
## Theses & Positions
- Stories possess a profound impact that makes it difficult to hold negative feelings toward a person.
- The most effective way to overcome political or social differences in the U.S. is to "truly sit down with one another."
- Initial hostility, as seen in a message from "Mark," can be overcome through dialogue, which shifts the focus from political disagreements to shared human commonalities.
- The connection is not merely about food; "it's about the sitting-down that counts."
- The goal of the initiative is to foster connection with "somebody who's completely different than you."
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Overcoming disagreement:** Initial negative communication (like Mark's message) is countered by proactively proposing a meeting to "understand our differences."
- **Community Building Model:** Observing a self-organized welcoming community—which hosted dinners, picnics, and YMCA dances—led to the speaker recreating these intentional connections.
- **"Experience Bridge" Operation:**
- Refugee families create a profile on the website.
- Host (the guest) pays a fee of $25 to $35.
- Guests are guided to a refugee family's home to share a meal, discuss differences, and learn new cuisines.
- The experience is designed to provide insight into the refugee's story and culture.
## Named Entities
- **Somalia** — speaker's country of origin.
- **Kenya** — country where the family spent time between refugee camps and cities.
- **Lancaster, Pennsylvania** — community described as the "refugee capital of the United States."
- **Roselle** — location whose refugee density is 20 times higher than any other city.
- **Mark** — online acquaintance who initially sent a message claiming Lancaster did not welcome refugees, but later engaged in dialogue.
## Numbers & Data
- Refugee status duration: **Past four years** in the current location.
- Arrival into the community: **January 23rd, 2017**.
- Refugee density measurement: **20 times more refugees per capita** than any other city in Roselle.
- Number of involved refugee families: **Over 11 families**.
- Experience booking fee: **$25 to $35**.
- Total people who have opted in for experiences: **Exactly 3000 people**.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Experience Bridge** — a website where users can book in-person experiences with refugee families.
## References Cited
- None.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Initial idea:** Opening a restaurant serving various cuisines from other cultures (rejected because the focus is not just on food).
- **Online communication vs. In-person meeting:** The realization that dialogue requires physical "sitting-down" superseded the initial focus on the food aspect.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- Initial opposition to refugees from the community, exemplified by Mark's message suggesting refugees were there to "harbor terrorism."
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Encourages the audience to "open up and sit down with somebody that doesn't agree with you."
- Recommends being hospitable to people from other countries and remaining open to hearing stories, because hearing a story makes it hard to hate someone.
## Implications & Consequences
- The speaker has successfully turned a message received via social media into a "successful business."
- The model is expanding geographically from Lancaster to other cities in Pennsylvania and potentially a "national series."
## Verbatim Moments
- *"Once you know somebody's story it is very hard to hit them."*
- *"Lancaster Pennsylvania and its title of being the refugee capital of the United States because our community Roselle's 20 times more refugees per capita than any other city."*
- *"Mark wrote to me and he said with all that you take away from the community Lancaster does not welcome refugees you are all here to harbor terrorism so go back to your country and stop blaming our government that was so hard."*
- *"I would like to take the opportunity to sit down with you and understand our differences can we have coffee please."*
- *"The only way to overcome any differences right now in our country with a political or otherwise it's truly is it truly sit down with one another."*
- *"it's not just about the food it's about the sitting-down that counts."*
- *"I've created a website called experience bridge it's a website where you can go online and book experiences on meals with refugees from around the world."*
- *"once you hear somebody story it's gonna be hard to hate them."*