Surviving a hostile world | ASHWIN MOHAN | TEDxChristUniversity
The speaker argues that genuine power is inherent and cannot be obtained by people through hierarchical systems or the validation of others. This concept is illustrated by the community of women in Sri Lanka who regained empowerment by learning self-defense techniques, allowing them to stop reacting to domestic violence. The ultimate path to reclaiming power is to "give first," such as offering kindness or generosity.
## Speakers & Context
- Martial arts expert; speaker has trained in martial arts for a long time.
- Provided an account of his work in the field of gender violence in Sri Lanka, beginning around **2002**.
## Theses & Positions
- Power is fundamental to human well-being; feeling powerless triggers a desire to "snatch power from people."
- Hierarchical systems create imbalance by making power feel distant, requiring people to seek validation from others.
- Yoga is not about renouncing power, but about the *celebration of power*.
- Small power involves the impact gained from criticizing someone and observing their reaction.
- The greatest powerlessness stems from an inability to connect or communicate feelings meaningfully.
- A shift toward recognizing inherent power is necessary when a community "has had enough."
- True power is generated by giving first: giving "that first word of kindness," "that first smile," or "that first Act of generosity."
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Power:** Fundamental to well-being; can be exercised through social imbalance or self-possession.
- **Alexia:** Inability to articulate one's emotions; acts as a recognized difficulty in the DSM (the speaker claims **90%** of the population has some extent of this).
- **Addiction:** Framed as a coping mechanism used due to a lack of connection to other humans and subsequent feelings of powerlessness.
- **Small Power:** The localized feeling of power derived from an observable impact on another person's emotions.
- **Large Power:** (Implied) The self-possessed, fundamental power.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **The cycle of domestic violence:** Feeling powerlessly due to displacement (e.g., Sri Lankan refugees) leads to inability to articulate emotion, which is then channeled into alcohol abuse and violence.
- **Gaining physical power:** Teaching self-defense techniques like smashes and blocks to women. A specific technique (the hand smash) taught to the women allowed them to block attacks, leading to a moment of physical defense where the husband was forced to apologize.
- **Mental self-defense:** Using a sneeze as a distraction or diversion in a social setting (like a bus) to escape unwanted advances.
- **The giving mechanism:** The process of recognizing that initiating positive action (kindness/generosity) builds social capital and reclaims personal power.
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Before 2002:** Speaker lived in a system he wished to escape.
- **Circa 2002:** Speaker begins working in the field of gender violence due to rising reports of domestic violence.
- **Pre-displacement:** Sri Lankan men led middle-class lives in Sri Lanka.
- **Post-displacement:** Refugees arrived in India, leading to trauma, inability to express emotion, and increased violence.
- **Intervention:** Speaker was called in to teach self-defense to the women in the community.
- **Current/Ongoing:** The community practices the techniques, and the speaker continues teaching/advocating for personal power.
## Named Entities
- **Sri Lankan refugees:** Group that experienced trauma leading to domestic conflict.
- **DSM:** Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (cited as containing "Alexia").
- **Ashwini, Gotham, Arjun:** Names of individuals involved in demonstrating self-defense techniques with the speaker.
- **Kuranga:** Location where the student was traveling in the US.
## Numbers & Data
- Year speaker started gender violence work: **2002**.
- Percentage of population allegedly affected by Alexia: **90%**.
- Community size in Sri Lanka: **2 lakh** people.
- Degrees of connection needed: Needy with parents, spouse, mentors, emotionally needy.
## Examples & Cases
- **Sri Lankan Refugee Crisis:** Post-traumatic stress following loss of family members on boats led men to use alcohol to "forget their powerlessness," resulting in violence against wives and children.
- **Community Self-Defense:** Women, initially hesitant to defend against husbands, learned techniques like smashing bones, blocking, and kicking, ultimately leading to the abuser apologizing and finding better employment.
- **Sneeze Diversion:** Demonstrating how a violent sneeze can be used on a bus to redirect attention away from unwanted physical contact by a "creep."
- **Student's Trauma:** A student returning to a low-cost area (Kuranga) was targeted by a laborer who attempted to rape her; she managed to resist using verbal defiance and by invoking the reality of her past trauma.
- **The Giving Contrast:** Comparing the expectation that 50% of people will appreciate an act of kindness versus the possibility of receiving no response.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Alexia test:** An online test available for men and women to check emotional articulation ability.
- **Cell phone:** Used by the student to call the speaker after the attempted assault.
## References Cited
- **DSM:** Mentioned as containing the "disease" of Alexia.
- **Religious text:** Mentioned as underpinning the objectification of women.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Violence vs. Self-Defense:** Alternative to violence was learning physical techniques.
- **Reliance on System vs. Self-Empowerment:** Moving away from external structures of power toward internal strength.
- **Taking vs. Giving:** The alternative to being needy is becoming a giver.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker notes that students' initial attempts at self-defense were sometimes inappropriate (e.g., injuring a friend because he was a friend).
- The speaker stresses the *need* for the community to "have had enough" before change can occur.
## Methodology
- **Personal Anecdote/Expert Observation:** Storytelling detailing a real-world intervention in gender violence dynamics.
- **Demonstration:** Teaching and demonstrating physical self-defense techniques (hand smashing, blocking, sneezing).
- **Sociological Observation:** Analyzing cultural narratives (e.g., viewing women as property) that enable violence.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- When a community collectively decides "we've had enough," significant positive change is possible.
- The primary method for reclaiming power is to proactively give kindness or generosity first.
- Goal: To move from emotional neediness ("needy needy needy...") to genuine giving.
## Implications & Consequences
- The act of defiance, even small ones like snapping back during an assault, can de-power the aggressor, who usually expects a "panic freeze."
- Collective realization of systemic issues (like the objectification of women) is a prerequisite for change.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"power is something that is fundamental to our well-being right when we feel powerless we want to snatch power from people in some way"*
- *"yoga is not about renouncing power yoga is the celebration of power"*
- *"Alexia is the inability to uh articulate your emotions"*
- *"If you can't connect with somebody if you can't communicate your feelings with somebody then you start to feel extremely powerless"*
- *"this simple technique changed the fortunes of a community of 2 lakh people just this one technique"*
- *"I am powerful she started to feel powerful because whenever when this gets strong you feel like you have an armor if something attacks you you can do this"*
- *"I want to give instead of take a really powerful person gives right go first"*
- *"give that first word of kindness give that first smile give that First Act of generosity"*