The Bipolar Social Club | Paul English | TEDxBoston
The speaker argues that community support is vital for managing bipolar illness, using the Bipolar Social Club as evidence of how shared experience combats isolation. She suggests building community by confiding one's secret to three trusted people, emphasizing that secrecy and isolation are the primary enemies of healing. The overarching message is that those who think differently, including people with bipolar illness, play an important role in the world. ## Speakers & Context - Speaker: Unnamed individual; has lived with bipolar illness since teens/20s and has been advocating for ten years. - Context: Discussion on the power of community in alleviating suffering related to bipolar illness. - Speaker's professional activity: Created companies like Kayak, Deets.com, and Lola.com, and non-profits such as Summits Education and the Winter Walk for Homelessness. - Speaker's goal: To encourage others to share their stories and build supportive communities to combat isolation. ## Theses & Positions - Bipolar illness involves extreme mood swings, ranging from hypomania (sleeplessness, rapid speech, recklessness) to depression (days/weeks trapped in bed, loss of will to live). - The greatest danger in bipolar and mental illness is *"secrecy and isolation."* - Professional success alongside managing bipolar disorder is possible through channeling energy bursts and leveraging grandiosity while remaining open about the condition. - For healing, the crucial first step is building community by telling the secret to a small circle of three people (one family, one friend, one colleague). - Buddhism offers frameworks for managing suffering, particularly by accepting what cannot be changed and letting go of grudges. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Bipolar Illness:** Characterized by extreme mood swings; manic phase includes sleeplessness, rapid speech, disconnection, and reckless decisions; depressive phase can lead to suicidal ideation. - **Activities of Daily Living (ADLs):** A list kept by the speaker on a yellow piece of paper to guide basic self-care during severe depression (e.g., brushing teeth, taking a shower). - **Grandiosity:** A common symptom, leading to believing in large, often impossible, achievements (e.g., curing cancer). - **Neurodiversity:** The concept that people who think differently have an important role in the world. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Self-management during depression:** Utilizing a written list of ADLs to maintain basic functionality. - **Building Community:** The foundational mechanism for recovery, starting with a small circle of three trusted individuals to share secrets with. - **Emotional Regulation (Buddhism):** Adopting the mindset of the Serenity Prayer: accepting what cannot change, having courage for what can change, and wisdom to discern the difference. - **Conflict Resolution:** Treating anger as a choice, likening it to *"drinking poison and expecting the other person to die,"* and instead choosing acceptance. ## Timeline & Sequence - **Speaker's early life:** Troubled by mania in teens and 20s, exhibiting rapid speech, grandiosity, and recklessness. - **Personal Coping Mechanism:** Kept a yellow list of ADLs. - **Professional Help:** Sought help from professionals locally at MGH; required years to find correct medication/therapy. - **Therapy Incident:** Experienced a panic attack at 4 am; was calmed by therapist Jack Green, illustrating the cycle of panic attacks. - **Catalyst for Club:** Friend Jake (podcaster from New Zealand) who was part of the community died by suicide in Kenya; this death prompted the creation of the Bipolar Social Club. - **Club Growth:** Started as an email list with about 100 members, with visions of expanding chapter-by-chapter. ## Named Entities - **Bipolar Social Club:** An organization designed for people worldwide with bipolar illness to support each other. - **Jake:** Friend from New Zealand; top podcaster who interviewed the speaker and later passed away in Kenya by suicide, leading to the club's founding. - **Dan English:** Speaker's brother; bailed speaker out of jail multiple times and kept the speaker's jail records secret. - **Lincoln Jackson:** Designer at Kayak; mentioned in relation to late-night work emails. - **Jack Green:** Speaker's therapist; 85 years old at the time of the panic attack incident described. - **MGH:** Local mental health professionals the speaker consulted. ## Numbers & Data - Prevalent condition in US: **4.4%** of people are diagnosed with bipolar illness. - Impacted population in US: **20 to 30 million people** (including family members). - Suicide rate: **30 to 40%** of people with bipolar illness have attempted suicide at least once. - Life expectancy: **67 years old** for people with bipolar illness. - Summits Education: Now has **40 schools** and **10,000 students** with **350 educators** trained. - Winter Walk for Homelessness: Last year was the **seventh year**; had **4000 walkers** and raised **millions of dollars**. - Bipolar Social Club members: Currently about **100 members**. ## Examples & Cases - **Mania manifestation:** Speaking very rapidly, disconnecting from people, feeling grandiosity, being irritable/angry, and participating in reckless behaviors. - **Hypomania benefit:** Energy and creativity fueled by hypomanic bursts helped create successful companies (Kayak, Deets.com, Lola.com). - **Grandiosity application:** Inspiring the founding of Summits Education, which aims to educate 10,000 students. - **Boston Initiative:** Inspired by visiting the MLK Memorial in San Francisco and recognizing MLK/Coretta's Boston roots, leading to a plan for Boston. - **Bipolar Social Club Experience:** A member reported trusting the online community *more* than his therapist, friends, and family. - **Panic Attack Episode:** Lying on the bedroom floor at 4 am, waiting for the sun to rise, and later having anxiety flare-ups even after seemingly calming down. ## Tools, Tech & Products - **Yellow piece of paper:** Used by the speaker to track ADLs for self-management during depressive episodes. - **Bipolar Social Club:** An email list providing a judgment-free zone for sharing mood swings and life events. - **Kayak, Deets.com, Lola.com:** Companies whose creation was fueled by the speaker's bipolar energy and drive. ## References Cited - **Selena Gomez** - **Winston Churchill** - **MLK Memorial** (in San Francisco) - **Coretta** (Washington) - **Steve Jobs:** Quoted: *"Here’s to the crazy ones, the ones who see things differently."* ## Counterarguments & Caveats - Potential oversimplification: The list of famous people with bipolar disorder might inspire thinking it is always possible to live a "great life," but the list also contains many who died due to the illness or related addictions. - Misunderstanding the "cure": The speaker notes that professional help and therapy took years and effort to establish the correct routine and medication. ## Methodology - **Personal Experience Documentation:** Chronicling personal struggles with mania and depression while using strategies like tracking ADLs. - **Community Building:** Creating structured support mechanisms (Bipolar Social Club) to provide continuous, non-judgmental sharing space. - **Philosophical Frameworks:** Integrating Buddhist teachings (Serenity Prayer, non-attachment) to manage emotional reactions and suffering. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - **Primary Action:** Do not let people get isolated; help them tell their story. - **Starting Point:** Start small by telling your secret to three people: one family member, one friend, and one colleague. - **Mindset:** Embrace the understanding that suffering is universal, and change comes from accepting what cannot be controlled and acting on what can. ## Implications & Consequences - **Social Impact:** Community support can become a lifeline more trusted than professional care, allowing people to maintain connection and prevent fatal isolation. - **Societal Value:** Recognizing neurodiversity implies that different modes of thinking are valuable assets for innovation and solving global problems. ## Verbatim Moments - *"the power of community in alleviating suffering, specifically the Bipolar Social Club"* - *"On the manic side, people will go days without sleep. They will speak rapidly, they will disconnect from people, and they'll make a bunch of reckless decisions about their life, their work, their friendship."* - *"Between 30 to 40% of people with bipolar illness have attempted suicide at least once in their life."* - *"I kept a yellow piece of paper on my medicine cabinet that I called my ADLs, or Activities of Daily Living..."* - *"Overall, with bipolar and any mental illness, secrecy and isolation are the enemy of healing."* - *"I would start this very small, three people: pick one person in your family, pick one of your friends, pick one person you work with, then tell them your secret."* - *"God, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."* - *"anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die."* - *"Here’s to the crazy ones, the ones who see things differently."*