How to be a failure successfully | Harsh Kedia | TEDxSIUKirkee
Failure is not determined by external perceptions, as the speaker argues, but by one's internal belief in the ability to learn and restart; he evidences this by citing multiple professional failures, such as a dreadful open in school and being defrauded in a venture, which ultimately informed his success. The central message is that failure is intrinsically valuable because it provides necessary lessons, serving as a teacher and stepping stone toward personal growth rather than a measure of inherent worth.
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker is addressing an audience regarding the topic of failure.
- The speaker frames the discussion around overcoming the societal tendency to judge individuals based on past setbacks.
- The speaker uses personal anecdotes spanning his life to illustrate the value of failure.
## Theses & Positions
- Failure, as an event, is beneficial because it provides opportunities to improve and start over again.
- Failure is distinct from *loneliness*; being alone is situational, whereas loneliness is an internal emotional state.
- The source of failure is usually internal ("It's always in the inside") rather than purely due to external circumstances.
- The internal voice or self-reflection regarding setbacks is more important than external judgment ("don't listen to the externalities because they don't matter as much as the voice inside").
- People are not failures; they are merely "scared to start."
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Failure:** Positioned as a teacher and a stepping stone to success; the source of crucial learning experiences.
- **Loneliness:** Defined as the emotion associated with being sad about failure; distinguished from simply "being alone."
- **Externalities:** Circumstances or judgments imposed by others that are not the true cause of an individual's setbacks or successes.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Learning through failure:** Every instance of failure prompts a realization or necessary skill acquisition, leading to adaptation.
- **Restart mechanism:** Failure creates the necessary impetus for the individual to acquire new skills or methods, allowing them to "start all over again."
- **Parental analogy:** Compares early childhood falls (e.g., babies learning to walk) to failure, concluding the fault lies with the environment/parental care ("the furnitures our fault and not the baby").
- **Self-Correction:** The process involves actively listening to one's inner voice and affirming daily improvements ("better than you were yesterday").
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Age 12:** Received initial reminders about things outside of his control, leading to the core theme.
- **Dreaded open (School):** Failed a basic English examination, resulting in a numerical failure mark.
- **College Graduation:** Told by a college director that he could not be a good entrepreneur because he had not studied certain subjects ("how money works," "how the finance works").
- **Restaurant attempts:** Spent three to four months self-taught on melting chocolate, resulting in multiple cooking burns.
- **Printing venture:** Discovered that certain fabrics could not take certain dyes due to washing processes.
- **Third venture:** Experienced being defrauded by a board member who took away client accounts.
## Named Entities
- None explicitly named outside of generalized roles.
## Numbers & Data
- Age of initial realization: **12 years of age**.
- Time spent self-teaching chocolate melting: **three to four months**.
## Examples & Cases
- **School Failure:** Failing a basic English examination in front of his mother.
- **College Evaluation:** Being told by a college director that his lack of study in specific subjects barred him from entrepreneurship.
- **Manchester/Bombay Incident:** In Bombay, when sitting next to a family of six, the speaker helped them take a picture by posing a frog on them and commented, "Malini I love you sorry on TV and the bindi you're wearing is very nice."
- **Chocolate Meltdown:** Self-taught methods for melting chocolate without burning, leading to multiple cooking burns.
- **Google Search:** Found the solution for melting chocolate by searching for a "double boiler."
- **Printing Failure:** Attempting to dye very soft cotton fabric with certain dyes, causing the color to wash away.
- **Fraudulent Company Venture:** Being defrauded by a board member who took away a large number of client accounts.
- **Children Learning to Walk:** Parents being blamed when the child falls, noting that the child's actions are not solely their fault.
- **Mathematics Examination:** Failing mathematics, but acknowledging the resulting skill in faster calculation for business/negotiations.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Google:** Used to research the correct method for melting chocolate.
- **Double boiler:** The appropriate tool used for melting chocolate.
## References Cited
- None.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **External Knowledge vs. Inner Voice:** Relying on external validation (education, societal judgment) is less reliable than trusting internal self-assessment.
- **Formal Education:** While valued, the speaker shows that practical, failure-driven learning can supplement or override formal academic limitations.
- **Trust:** Giving too much power based on excessive trust, which can lead to financial loss (as seen in the third venture).
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- Some people may initially believe the failures are entirely the fault of external parties (like the parents or the circumstances).
- The speaker notes that the failure in mathematics did not stop him from succeeding in business negotiations, indicating that while setbacks are setbacks, they force adaptation.
## Methodology
- Anecdotal evidence drawing from childhood to professional life to build a philosophical case.
- Comparison of different types of failure (academic, domestic, business) to draw a unifying principle.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Never equate your identity with a failure; instead, view every failure as a necessary lesson.
- Actively listen to your inner voice, which suggests continuous improvement ("better than you were yesterday").
- **Final instruction:** "you're not yet a failure just get the star."
## Implications & Consequences
- Embracing failure shifts an individual's narrative from victim of circumstance to active participant in their own education.
- Overcoming the fear of starting is the prerequisite for recognizing the value embedded within past mistakes.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"I will talk about my failure how my failures have been in my best feature."*
- *"I would fail I'll be set back sometime I'd be given that opportunity to start all over again."*
- *"dreaded open"*
- *"if I had any failure would I have no notion"*
- *"I don't understand how money works you do not understand how the finance works."*
- *"I love being by myself... it doesn't mean that I've had a hard day it means none of that"*
- *"I helped them by doing a picture frog on them"*
- *"what my formal education what my books go to teach me"*
- *"when you seek help you can overcome your failure faster"*
- *"a lot of these inhibitions in companies happen because of excessive trust"*
- *"if your inner voice that little voice in your head doesn't tell you that you're failing don't listen to the externalities because they don't matter as much as the voice inside"*
- *"every time an individual feels they get out up and he start over with children and babies when they learn to walk what is the first thing a parent does when they fall they clear the ceiling they shout for help and they cry before the baby starts crying the baby's doing that"*
- *"you're not yet a failure just get the star"*