But You Haven’t Left Yet: Student Voice Inspires Change | Nikeshia Leatherwood | TEDxLake Alfred
Nathaniel, a persistent student, altered the speaker's leadership approach by repeatedly asking about a DC field trip despite the passage of deadlines. The speaker contends that leaders often get lost in logistics, forgetting to listen to the simple, hopeful stories of those they serve. To improve leadership, one must pause to ask, "What story am I missing?" ## Speakers & Context - Speaker: Educator and principal with 24 years of experience; has led three separate schools from preK to 12th grade. - Context: Giving a talk about lessons learned from student interactions, particularly regarding leadership and the importance of listening. - Previous Role Model: Learned strategy called "management by wandering around" from a new principal cohort. ## Theses & Positions - Leaders must remember that their focus cannot be solely on agendas, to-do lists, logistics, or maintaining compliance. - The core principle is to prioritize connecting with those served over adhering strictly to systems and rules. - Leaders must intentionally foster opportunities for students to feel heard and seen. - The measurement of a fulfilling life and organization should be by *moments*, not just by calendar dates. - True leadership requires the capacity to pause long enough to listen to others' stories. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Management by wandering around:** A strategy for uncovering insights by simply being physically present and visible within an organization's environment. - **Self-advocacy:** Taught students to speak up until they were heard, and to be respectfully pushy. - **Moment vs. Memory:** *Defining moments* are the daily encounters that endure in memory, contrasting with graded academic achievements. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **The Breakthrough Process:** Nathaniel approached the principal repeatedly about the DC trip; the third approach prompted the principal to suggest involving the travel agency to orchestrate a payment exchange between two families due to a student moving away. - **Listening shift:** Transitioning from "listening to respond" to "listening to hear," allowing the speaker to truly hear Nathaniel's underlying question: "What are you going to do with the time you have now to work this situation out for me?" - **Leadership Action:** Pausing to investigate further rather than immediately denying a request due to missed deadlines. ## Timeline & Sequence - **Advertising:** The DC trip was advertised since **August of 2023**. - **Initial Attempts:** Nathaniel approached the principal the first time, when the speaker denied him based on the missed deadline. - **Second Attempt:** Nathaniel approached the principal the second time, when the speaker blamed the travel agency. - **Third Attempt:** Nathaniel approached the principal the third time, prompting the crucial line: *"But you haven't left yet."* - **Resolution:** The next morning, Nathaniel attended the trip after the principal orchestrated a payment exchange. ## Named Entities - **Nathaniel:** The student whose persistence and words fundamentally changed the speaker's leadership approach. - **Citrus Ridge:** The name of the civics academy where the speaker taught eighth graders. - **Washington DC:** The destination for the capstone field trip. - **Ariel:** Character from Disney's *The Little Mermaid*, cited for the principle of being visible where people are. - **Chip and Dan Heath:** Authors of the New York Time bestseller *The Power of Moments*. ## Numbers & Data - Number of years as an educator: **24 years**. - Grade level taught: **eighth graders**. - Field trip: **first postcoavid trip** for the school. - Number of times Nathaniel approached regarding the trip: **three times**. - Year the trip was advertised: **2023**. - School management timeframe: **preK now to 12th grade**. - Number of schools led: **three**. ## Examples & Cases - **The Failure:** The principal initially denied Nathaniel attendance because the trip was advertised since **August 2023** and payments were complete. - **The Success:** The DC trip materialized because the principal paused and inquired about orchestrating a payment exchange between two families when one student moved away. - **Memorable Moments:** Viewing the Washington Monument, viewing historical documents and artifacts under soft museum lighting, and waiting for Nathaniel on the way back to Florida because he purchased a snow globe. ## Tools, Tech & Products - **Snow globe:** Specifically mentioned as an object that required extra time to manage due to liquid contents. - **AI influenced digital world:** The modern context against which the value of real-world connection is contrasted. ## References Cited - *The Little Mermaid* (Disney): Cited for the principle of being visible where people are. - *The Power of Moments* (Book): By Chip and Dan Heath. ## Trade-offs & Alternatives - **Systemization vs. Connection:** The constant pressure to triangulate multiple data sources and meet deadlines versus the need to connect with those served. - **Compliance vs. Memory:** Rules and compliance are necessary, but *inspiring moments* are what will be remembered. - **Ignoring the small things vs. paying attention:** The immediate logistical problem of the trip versus the deeper, unmet need of the student. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The speaker notes the immense pressure to triangulate multiple data sources to inform decisions and the danger of missing a deadline. - The speaker acknowledges that his rule-following initially caused the exclusion of Nathaniel. ## Methodology - **Principle:** "Management by wandering around"—being present and visible in the environment. - **Process:** Shifting from immediate denial based on procedure to deep listening, which revealed an underlying logistical possibility. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - When leading an organization, leaders must be intentional not to lose focus on connecting with those they serve. - Before rejecting ideas or questions, leaders should ask: *"What story am I missing?"* - Before denying possibilities, leaders should ask: *"Who might this yes empower?"* - Leaders must design for *moments* of memory, not just for compliance. - The central question left for listeners: *"Who is the Nathaniel in your life whose outcome might be changed because you take time to hear their story?"* ## Implications & Consequences - Student trajectories can be directly dependent on a leader's availability and willingness to listen to their stories. - The emotional and experiential significance of human connection outweighs the objective value of academic grades or compliance records. ## Verbatim Moments - *"As a new principal, I'll never forget one of the most helpful strategies I learned in our new principal cohort. We learned of this amazing strategy called management by wandering around."* - *"What are you going to do with the time you have now to work this situation out for me?"* - *"When I listened to hear instead of listening to respond, I was able to zoom in and truly heard what Nathaniel was saying."* - *"We get so busy creating and running systems that we often forget who we create and run the systems for."* - *"Our lives are measured in moments and defining moments are ones that will endure in our memories."* - *"What story am I missing?"* - *"Who might this yes empower?"* - *"Because after all, we haven't left yet."*