Mind Over Matters of Fact | John Perez | TEDxOhloneCollegeNewark
The speaker asserts that understanding how anxiety controls one's mind is crucial for decision-making, noting that this anxiety can be overcome by establishing achievable, realistic personal goals like the piano, riding a horse, and traveling. The speaker draws personal strength from surviving the death of his grandmother at age 22, which fueled a decade-long commitment to conquering fears and helping others. ## Speakers & Context - Unnamed speaker. - Discussing the necessity of understanding how anxiety controls the mind and decisions. - Notes that the audience members are in a state where they have been addressing anxiety at some level, even if they usually "put it away." - The speaker references his own personal struggle, first dealing with his grandmother's passing when he was 22 years old, which was a "first death" he had to handle. - The speaker acknowledges that his background in psychology was expected to give him expertise on anxiety vs. depression. ## Theses & Positions - Wasting one's mind is worse than being enemy to oneself; the focus must be on understanding the mind's control over the body and decisions. - Anxiety can get the best of people, leading to avoidance of situations like public speaking. - Acknowledging anxiety and having the "talk" about it is vital for success; it's okay to acknowledge fear or anxiety. - The speaker successfully channeled the profound emotional impact of losing his grandmother into a life mission of helping others overcome their anxieties. - To achieve goals, it is necessary to set goals that are both "obtainable and... realistic." - Overcoming fears requires proactive dialogue and assistance, especially when facing stigmas around asking for help. - Any phobia or fear—be it public speaking, heights, or zombies—can be addressed through systematic effort. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Anxiety vs. Depression:** Understanding the difference between the two is necessary for self-understanding and overcoming barriers. - **Goal Setting:** A methodology requiring that goals are "obtainable and they're realistic." - **Public Speaking Phobia:** Cited as one of several avoided phobias, alongside heights, bugs, snakes, ghosts, and zombies. - **Stigma:** The difficulty in asking for help because of a related social stigma. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Goal Achievement Cycle:** Identifying a desired outcome $\rightarrow$ ensuring it is possible $\rightarrow$ actively doing it $\rightarrow$ accomplishing it. - **Overcoming Fear:** The process involves addressing the fear or phobia directly through dialogue, even when it is uncomfortable. - **Therapeutic Intervention:** Involves listening to others who hate talking and gently persuading them that "it's going to be all right" to express how they feel. - **Positive Thinking Application:** Using positive thinking to confront and overcome the "fear of not knowing if he'll be here tomorrow." ## Timeline & Sequence - **Age 22:** First major life event—grandmother's passing. - **After grandmother's passing:** The speaker struggled for **ten years** before mentioning her name without crying. - **Years after notification:** Created a list of personal goals to honor his grandmother's presumed wishes to keep him living. - **2008:** Learned to ride a horse; this was driven by the emotional need to "do this" regardless of outcome. - **2015:** Diagnosed with a brain infection, leading him to pursue the goal of playing the piano. - **Last three years:** Set a goal to travel **1 million miles in four years**. - **August 2017:** Achieved a goal by visiting the cockpit of a Boeing 737 plane at MCO International Airport. ## Named Entities - **National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH)** — Cited source reporting anxiety statistics. - **Washington Post** — Released an article in **2014** listing common phobias. - **Grandmother Jana JQ** — The speaker's deceased grandmother. ## Numbers & Data - **19%** of Americans face anxiety, according to the NIMH report from last November. - Year of the *Washington Post* article on phobias: **2014**. - Age of speaker at grandmother’s passing: **22 years old**. - Time taken to cry about grandmother: **ten years**. - Goal setting targets: The chief four goals (Horse, Play the piano, Travel, Help others). - Horse purchase year: **2008**. - Diagnosis date: **2015**. - Travel goal: **1 million miles in four years**. - Current achieved distance: "just under **seven hundred and seventy two thousand miles**." - Boeing 737 date: **August of 2017**. - Grandfather's passing year: **2002**. ## Examples & Cases - **Public Speaking Fear:** A common phobia avoided by many. - **Losing Grandmother:** The speaker's initial experience of overwhelming emotional inability following loss. - **Building Goals:** The speaker created a set of actionable, realistic life goals (piano, horse, travel, helping others) following his grandmother's death. - **Airplane Cockpit Visit:** The speaker gained the chance to take a picture in the cockpit of a Boeing 737 plane at MCO International Airport, despite fearing heights. - **Community Support:** The speaker notes that in a given week, **seven individuals** approached him with various projects or concerns. ## Tools, Tech & Products - **YouTube:** Used as a resource for learning skills, exemplified by learning piano. - **Baby Grand Piano:** Purchased and learned on. - **Boeing 737 plane:** The aircraft visited in the cockpit. ## References Cited - **National Institute of Mental Health:** Source for the 19% anxiety statistic. - **The Washington Post:** Source for the 2014 article on phobias. ## Trade-offs & Alternatives - **Self-Reliance vs. Help:** The speaker initially struggled because he "did not know or have the skills to get over that issue" and was not receiving help. - **Fear Confrontation:** The alternative to addressing anxiety is avoidance; the confrontation process is described as a necessary, if uncomfortable, step. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The speaker preemptively addresses the notion that his story sounds more like depression rather than anxiety, clarifying the distinction. - Some people might argue that the list of goals is too broad, but the speaker clarifies that the definition must be made actionable. ## Methodology - **Dialogue and Acknowledgment:** The core method for dealing with anxiety is having the conversation and acknowledging the fear. - **Structured Goal-Setting:** Breaking down abstract desires into concrete, measurable, and achievable tasks (e.g., miles traveled, skills mastered). - **Systematic Confrontation:** Addressing phobias one issue at a time, day by day, rather than viewing them as one massive insurmountable problem. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The most important action is to talk about the anxiety; it is not something to be endured in silence. - Everyone should examine their own anxieties and address them one issue at a time, day by day. - People have the power to use their voice to initiate the dialogue and move forward. ## Implications & Consequences - Ignoring or suppressing anxiety leads to stagnation and prevents accomplishing personal growth objectives. - Successfully confronting fears leads to the ability to build a life structured around achieving ambitious personal goals. ## Verbatim Moments - *"what if you are your own enemy and you yourself waste your own mind"* - *"I hadn't realized how important it was to acknowledge what anxiety is and how it can affect us"* - *"it took ten years before you mentioned her name without crying"* - *"I created a list of goals now the chief four goals and goal setting is to make sure that they are obtainable and they're realistic"* - *"I think we live in a world but for some of us it's incredibly challenging just to get up in the morning and let ourselves in the mirror and that's okay"* - *"I said that's great let's work with that"* - *"it's not going to be terrifying and that's what makes my job so much fun"* - *"it's that thought process that plan that helped us overcome some of these terrifying events such as public speaking Heights snakes your honor leveling spiders ghosts and zombies"* - *"I encourage you today to look at yourselves and think have I experienced anxiety has somebody else experienced anxiety and then address it one issue at a time day by day and you can get overcome it"*