Why we should care about weddings | Jen Siomacco | TEDxRVA
Speaker: An unnamed speaker who is a creative director for an inclusivity wedding magazine. The central claim is that the established wedding media narrative promotes an exclusionary, consumerist vision of happiness based on marriage, and this must be disrupted by changing media representation and shifting focus from material appearance to genuine acceptance. The strongest evidence is the statistic that wedding magazines primarily feature white, thin, twenty-something cisgender individuals, systematically omitting diverse populations.
## Speakers & Context
- Unnamed speaker, a creative director for a wedding magazine dedicated to inclusivity.
- Context is a discussion about how wedding media reinforces traditional, often exclusionary, narratives of love and happiness.
## Theses & Positions
- The historical representation of weddings, heavily influenced by Disney and media, portrays marriage as the *only* prerequisite for happiness.
- Wedding media reinforces a hyper-consumerist message: happiness equals selling unattainable images and emptying one's bank account.
- Society must change the narrative by shifting focus from material goods (rings, dresses, venues) and physical appearance to celebrating genuine acceptance and all forms of love (friend, family, self).
- The media has the responsibility of representing all people so they feel they belong.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Disney's role:** Has cemented the "fairy tale wedding" image, suggesting happiness follows marriage.
- **Exclusionary depiction:** Wedding magazines predominantly feature white, thin, twenty-something cisgender brides.
- **Materialism:** The focus of wedding media is on selling goods (dresses, resorts, Botox) rather than celebrating the partnership.
- **Inclusivity:** The goal is to represent all types of love and all people, including non-binary individuals, those in interracial relationships, and those with disabilities.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Media influence:** Disney, movies, musicals, and magazines repeatedly teach the social construct that marriage is the sole pathway to happiness.
- **Bias in representation:** Academic research (University of Wisconsin, 2013) showed 90% of women in wedding magazines were white, despite white people being closer to 60% of the population.
- **Erasure via editing:** Women of color frequently have photos edited to appear lighter-skinned, making their race hard to determine.
- **Disruption strategy:** Redirecting the nearly seventy billion dollar wedding industry by changing conversations and challenging consumerist expectations.
## Named Entities
- **Disney:** Cultural force that has permeated the idea of the "fairy tale wedding."
- **University of Wisconsin:** Conducted a 2013 academic research study on wedding magazines.
- **InStyle magazine:** Cited as an example of magazine covers potentially misrepresenting the race of subjects like Kerry Washington.
## Numbers & Data
- **70+ years:** Duration that Disney has been part of the American consciousness and influencing weddings.
- **90%:** Percentage of women in wedding magazines that were white (according to 2013 study).
- **60%:** Approximate percentage of the US population that is white (census data).
- **38%:** Percentage of people in the country who are Americans of color.
- **8.5%:** Percentage of Americans living with disabilities.
- **13.5%:** Percentage of Americans living in poverty.
- **14%:** Percentage of Americans in interracial relationships.
- **~70 billion dollars:** Estimated value of the wedding industry.
- **200 pages:** Number of pages expected to be filled with ads in an average 300-page wedding magazine.
- **20 photos:** Estimated number of actual couples photos in an average 300-page wedding magazine.
## Examples & Cases
- **Disney's influence:** Evokes the universal belief that happiness is achieved via the "happily ever after."
- **Limited magazine representation:** Shows that diversity is often limited to olive-skinned brunettes, while visible evidence shows historical underrepresentation and photo editing of women of color.
- **Exclusionary coupling examples:** Specific groups rendered invisible or pathologized by the narrative include:
* People like Ty and Jared.
* Couples like Gina and Nicole.
* Couples like Nora and Ben.
* Couples like Massino and Graham (eloping).
* Couples in interracial relationships (adding and Raymond).
* People who remarry later in life (Pez and Sophia).
* Individuals whose gender identity doesn't match the male-female binary.
* Couples identifying as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or queer (jasmine and jasmine).
* People whose bodies do not fit the ideal of beauty.
- **Magazine advertising breakdown:** Ads sell everything from dresses to Botox and weight-loss drugs; only 20 photos of couples are likely.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Current state:** Media promotes the trade-off: happiness requires adherence to a specific, consuming, heterosexual, able-bodied, white ideal.
- **Proposed alternative:** Celebrating acceptance for *exactly who* people are, and valuing love forms beyond partnership (friend love, self-love).
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Redirection must happen on two fronts: shifting away from consumerism in weddings, and de-centering the "fairy tale mentality."
- Individuals must stop focusing on material details (rings, dresses, venues) and shift focus to the commitment of the partnership and the intrinsic value of the relationship.
- Society must accept that happiness is not solely contingent on being partnered.
## Implications & Consequences
- If the narrative is not disrupted, the consequence is that diverse populations are taught they do not deserve the love and happiness promoted by the media.
- The current system successfully channels emotional desires into high-spending consumerism.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"If everyone in America is told that they need to get married in order to be happy why do all the wedding magazines look like this"*
- *"I have to wonder if as a society we are trying to say that these people don't deserve happiness"*
- *"In the average 300 page wedding magazine 200 of those pages are gonna be filled with ads"*
- *"I know when I was getting married it's all anyone seemed to care about nobody asked me about my partnership"*
- *"We also have to stop putting so much focus on appearance and expecting people especially women to change their appearance for their wedding day"*
- *"we just need to celebrate that people are being accepted for exactly who they are"*
- *"we need to celebrate all kinds of love that means friend love family loves and self love"*