Tolerance and bring fun to life | Jacek Trybuchowski | TEDxAmerican School of Warsaw
Patrick discusses his life journey showing that tolerance is learned through lived experience, starting with his family in Poland and evolving into a mission to facilitate people's growth through his work. His greatest lesson came after gaining exposure to the American society, leading him to dedicate his life to creating environments where people feel safe to develop. The central call to action is for the audience to embrace becoming "natural ambassadors of tolerance" upon leaving their current educational setting.
## Speakers & Context
- **Patrick** — Speaker, discusses his 25-year journey working with people and developing them.
- Context: The talk is presented in a setting that allows for significant cultural exposure, noted by the speaker comparing it favorably to other schools.
## Theses & Positions
- Tolerance is a lesson learned incrementally through diverse human interactions, starting from childhood.
- The deepest lessons on tolerance came from observing his grandparents' resilience after experiencing two wars.
- Personal growth was catalyzed by developing self-awareness—which he identifies with modern "emotional intelligence"—allowing him to understand his impact on others.
- The true focus of life/work should be *giving space* for people to grow and develop, rather than simply building businesses.
- Everyone has a unique way ("find your own way") to contribute to a more tolerant world, whether through one's job, sport, or music.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Tolerance:** The first lesson was absorbing the environment where people from different beliefs and cultures lived together in one home.
- **Self-awareness:** The "breaking point" for the speaker; achieving the highest level of understanding of oneself and one's impact on others.
- **Emotional Intelligence:** The modern vocabulary used to describe the concept of self-awareness and understanding others.
- **Ambassador of Tolerance:** The desired role for the audience upon leaving the educational setting, characterized by naturally spreading positive feelings and tolerance.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Accumulating Tolerance:** Living in a household with people of different beliefs and cultures, absorbing the environment without direct instruction.
- **Visa Acquisition:** Used "a little bit of a psychology" when visiting the consulate in Poznan to secure a visa to the United States.
- **Business Development:** Started in the restaurant industry (initially focusing on selling "chicken pizza or Starbucks"), which was later reframed around the mission of people development.
- **Growth Pathway:** Understanding self $\rightarrow$ recognizing the opportunity to facilitate others' growth $\rightarrow$ establishing a mission to develop people $\rightarrow$ building a platform that provides *space* for growth.
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Childhood (Poland):** Learned first lessons of tolerance from living with grandparents and diverse people in a multi-cultural household.
- **Before Age 18:** Lived under a communist country regime.
- **Post-WWII Generation:** Grandparents, who lived through two wars, showed immense tolerance by treating enemies (Germans, Russians) as hosts.
- **Age 18:** Traveled to the United States while flying to Detroit.
- **Post-US:** Realized the center of gravity for change moved from the US to Central Europe, prompting a return to Poland to share knowledge.
- **1993:** Started working in the restaurant industry, beginning with a single restaurant.
- **Later (Business Peak):** Developed over 2000 restaurants across various continents.
- **Total Duration:** It took "about 30 years to understand and learn 50 plus cultures."
## Named Entities
- **Poland:** Country of birth and early life experience.
- **United States:** Destination achieved at age 18, providing the second major lesson in tolerance.
- **Detroit:** City reached while traveling to the United States at age 18.
- **Poznan:** Location where the visa was obtained.
- **Germany, Russia:** Examples of groups whose members lived with the family in Poland, despite being enemies beforehand.
## Numbers & Data
- Years developing people: **25 years**.
- Age when the first lesson of tolerance began: **Small, small child**.
- Age when the second lesson of tolerance began: **18 years old**.
- Number of wars grandparents lived through: **Two**.
- Years needed to learn 50+ cultures: **About 30 years**.
- Initial number of restaurants: **One**.
- Peak number of restaurants: **Over 2000**.
- Estimated number of cultures learned: **50 plus**.
- School exposure comparison: **Close to 70 nations** (at the venue).
## Examples & Cases
- **Grandparents' Behavior:** Treating enemies (Germans, Russians) as hosts despite experiencing great hardship and having reason to hate.
- **The Initial Focus:** Focusing initially on business aspects like selling "chicken pizza or Starbucks."
- **The Transformation:** Realizing that the core activity wasn't the business itself, but the process of helping people grow and develop.
- **Cultural Experience:** Listing countries worked in/observed: **Poland, Czech, Europe, Balkans, China, US, Germany, Austria**.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Initial Goal 1:** Becoming a "famous soccer player of the world" (was not achieved).
- **Initial Goal 2:** Leaving the country of regime for the United States (achieved, but led to new realization).
- **Business Focus vs. Mission:** The temptation to only focus on business growth vs. the realization that the true joy was *developing people*.
- **Direct Influence vs. Indirect Influence:** Recognizing the limitation of influencing the "whole world," shifting focus to personal action.
## Methodology
- **Experiential Learning:** Learning tolerance through direct immersion in diverse social environments (home, travel, work).
- **Reframing Success:** Shifting the perceived metric of success from monetary gain/physical expansion to the intangible act of fostering growth.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- The key to changing the world or one's life is to find one's personal avenue for impact ("find this way").
- The audience's immediate action should be to "naturally go and spread this great news, great feelings among other people" upon leaving the school.
- The speaker’s current calling: To serve as a vehicle for making life more tolerant.
## Implications & Consequences
- The lack of external barriers is cited as a key insight: "There are no barriers. There's are barriers are it's in our head only."
- The educational setting itself is implied to be a privileged situation providing natural, intensive exposure to tolerance.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"my first lesson of tolerance."*
- *"they never blame anybody for anything."*
- *"I didn't like that. I didn't have my freedom."*
- *"one per 100,000 people were receiving visa to the United States."*
- *"I didn't look at my paycheck, how much money I was making, but I knew I was doing something better."*
- *"The breaking point for myself... was when I rose my self awareness to the highest level that I could understand myself better, my impact on other people."*
- *"it's giving them the space to grow and develop."*
- *"There are no barriers. There's are barriers are it's in our head only."*
- *"natural ambassador of tolerance."*
- *"You need to find your own way."*