The Ones That Stuck | Haylee Ryan | TEDxUTA
The speaker argues that moments become lasting memories when they evoke an emotional encounter with beauty, emphasizing that these moments are often small, everyday occurrences rather than grand life events. The speaker illustrates this using a memory of a friend on a beach in Portugal where the sun catching her face made the world seem to stand still, contrasting this feeling with the highly detailed use of oil paint reserved for these impactful parts of art.
## Theses & Positions
- The primary difference between a fleeting moment and a lasting memory is that the moment *sticks*.
- Beauty is defined by the memory of the beholder; it does not require traditional, grand instances.
- Beauty can be found in tiny, everyday moments that take one by surprise.
- Human memories are inherently selective, retaining only the most impactful or beautiful parts.
- The speaker's art process models this mental abstraction: background elements are blocked out (like non-important details in memory), while the most emotionally striking parts are rendered in highly detailed oil paint.
- Life is full of "sticky noodles" (memories), not just big, dramatic events.
- There is a power, and a responsibility, in the power to *make* beautiful memories for others.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Sticky noodles:** Metaphor for moments that become lasting, powerful memories.
- **Beauty in the memory of the beholder:** The definition of beauty is derived from what is remembered or what an individual finds impactful when looking back.
- **Abstraction (in art/mind):** The mind naturally filters out unimportant details, leaving only the essential, emotionally impactful elements, similar to how the speaker paints by blocking out backgrounds.
- **Nostalgia:** Defined as "memory mixed with feeling."
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Memory formation:** Process relies on an "emotional encounter with beauty," suggesting emotional resonance is the sticking mechanism for memory.
- **Artistic process (Abstraction):** The speaker physically models memory by painting the background details out ("blocked out") and reserving the most detailed, vibrant oil paint only for the parts that were most emotionally impactful (e.g., a friend’s face).
- **Memory Archiving:** The mind cannot hold every detail and instead retains only what is "most dear to your heart" or "most beautiful."
- **Creating positive social cycles:** Sharing and reliving memories (even internally) changes how one feels and proceeds into the future differently.
## Examples & Cases
- **Portugal Beach Memory:** Walking on a beach in Portugal with a best friend; the sudden moment the sun caught her face, her hair, and the perfect matching scarf against the turquoise water, making the world feel like it stood still.
- **Artistic Abstraction:** The painting process where the background is painted with acrylic paint and "totally blocked out," while the subject's face and freckles are rendered in detailed oil paint because they were the most impactful memories.
- **Parenting observation:** The suggested antidote to major events, such as simply going for a walk.
- **Ice Cream Memory:** A memory of a woman enjoying ice cream, where the speaker remembers the feeling and the nice sunlight on her skin, but has blocked out details like signs or location.
- **Old People in Parks:** Observing older people gathering in parks, focusing on their "slouchy like expressions," the pattern of their clothing (rendered in flat acrylic), but concentrating the detail on their skin, expressions, and demeanor—the things that stuck.
- **Professional Example (Ruth Bader Ginsburg):** Being commissioned to paint Ruth Bader Ginsburg after her passing; the enduring conversation around her impact meant the memory itself was a continuing "work in progress."
- **Childhood Joy:** Children stating their happiest moments are things like "jumping on the trampoline with my friends" or "riding my bike because i like the wind on my face."
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Painting media:**
- **Acrylic paint:** Water-based, sits back, has a certain texture, used for blocking out or less-detailed background areas.
- **Oil paint:** Reserved for the most detailed and vibrant parts; used because of its "depth of color and the vibrance of color."
- **Podcast:** *The Haley and Amanda podcast* (with friend Amanda), focusing on joy and inspiration, often interviewing children.
## Names & Entities
- **Best friend:** Mentioned in the context of the Portugal beach trip; later mentioned again as "my friend amanda" and "this friend alba."
- **Amanda:** Co-host of the podcast.
- **Alba:** Friend associated with the "blue" mentioned in connection to a painting.
- **Ruth Bader Ginsburg:** Figure whose memory the speaker was tasked with painting.
- **Maya Angelou:** Source of a frequently quoted passage.
## References Cited
- **Maya Angelou:** Quoted passage: "people will forget what you said people will even forget the way or what you did but people will never forget the way you made them feel."
## Numbers & Data
- No specific quantifiable data points beyond generalized descriptions of age or time elapsed.
## Examples & Cases
- The contrast between the "big giant moments" and the "tiny little everyday moments" (e.g., a woman eating ice cream, people in a park).
- The emotional impact of the memory of the best friend on the beach in Portugal.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker initially implies that the focus is not on *noodle* metaphors or *pasta* itself, but on the underlying concept of sticking/memory.
- The speaker admits that the details of the best friend’s clothing (scarf, skirt, shirt) are partially remembered or generalized, leaving "empty space" in the artwork.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Everyone has the power and responsibility to "make beautiful memories for everyone we encounter."
- To keep memories alive is to drag them into the present, allowing for conversation and emotional reliving, which changes one's future path.
- The goal is to be aware of and *impart* beauty in every encounter.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"Life is throwing noodles at us."*
- *"The only difference between a moment and a memory is that it sticks."*
- *"Beauty is in the memory of the beholder."*
- *"the world stood still and it was throwing a sticky noodle at me."*
- *"I've abstracted the background... so I've abstracted the background."*
- *"I use oil paint and detail only on those parts so you can see that her face and the freckles along her lips and the her hair and her skin and the center in her hair that is the most detailed part."*
- *"jumping on the trampoline with my friends"* (Example of happiest feeling from children).
- *"it doesn't need to be these big giant moments of our lives."*
- *"People will forget what you said people will even forget the way or what you did but people will never forget the way you made them feel."*
- *"may we be the ones that stuck."*