Dossier

You Don't Get To Name Me | Ebony White | TEDxDrexelU

The speaker argues that individual perception determines one's trajectory, challenging the emphasis on external validation by detailing how professional success and inherent identity are challenged by societal labeling. Drawing on the story of the elephant and the giraffe, she concludes that authentic self-acceptance is crucial for resistance, demanding that listeners "be mindful and be yourself."

## Speakers & Context
- Speaker: Unnamed, PhD recipient, licensed professional counselor.
- Context: Discussion on the relative importance of internal perception versus external perception ("how others view you or how you view yourself").

## Theses & Positions
- Personal perceptions can determine one's life trajectory, potentially overriding external views.
- The act of being labeled or pigeonholed by society (e.g., "angry black woman") forces self-censorship in others' behavior and one's own actions.
- The expectation to "tough it out" perpetuates a cycle of suffering, as people internalize restrictive external labels.
- Conforming to perceived expectations (e.g., saying "yes" out of fear of retaliation) is a behavior motivated by external labeling.
- The realization of invisibility in virtual or professional spaces—where credentials or code-switching do not guarantee visibility—is a profound, "momentous" realization.
- The core message is that the inherent self ("who I am as I am") is enough, and one must actively resist external naming and expectation.
- Joy must be intentionally created rather than simply expected, as it is a form of resistance.

## Concepts & Definitions
- **Controlling Images:** Caricatures developed for Black women dating back to the slavery era, designed to "pigeonhole or solidify black women's position at the bottom of the social hierarchy" through naming and labeling.
- **Emancipatory research:** A model of research advocated for, conducted "by us and for us."
- **FUBU research:** An acronym used by the speaker to denote research done "for us by us."
- **Mindful:** An actionable internal state encouraged as part of the personal mantra.
- **Rejoice:** An intentional act of creating joy, framed as a means of resistance.

## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Negotiating Images:** The continuous, personal process of consciously resisting the negative labels and expectations placed upon oneself by society or peers.
- **Code Switching:** The act of modifying one's speech or behavior based on the perceived context or audience to avoid negative consequences.
- **The Elephant/Giraffe Analogy:** Illustrates that trying to fit a creature (the elephant) into a structure built for another (the giraffe's house) fails, regardless of the effort taken to adapt (dieting, ballet).
- **Self-Assertion:** The conscious decision to act authentically, even when facing known consequences or perceived professional repercussions, in order to avoid the battle of conformity.

## Timeline & Sequence
- **Dissertation Focus:** Years ago, the speaker studied how African-American women in the U.S view and attain success.
- **Career Development:** The speaker notes the impact of the PhD (gaining "rights and privileges") and subsequently being treated as an expert counselor, leading to discussions about the pressure of expert expectation.
- **Recent Reflection:** A recent, "momentous" experience occurring when the speaker felt immobilized and invisible during a virtual work meeting.
- **Presentation Development:** Building the talk around the need to move beyond the limitations of the elephant/giraffe analogy, which failed to address the "cost of conformity" or "stripping of identities."

## Named Entities
- **Dr. Cerisi West Olentuji:** Speaker's mentor.
- **Amira:** Colleague who advised on the intentionality of joy.

## Numbers & Data
- **Three F's:** Formal support, family support, and faith—key areas identified in the dissertation.
- **Specific Years:** 2020 (the period of the work-from-home realization).

## Examples & Cases
- **Professional Success:** Receiving a PhD as the first African-American in the family line to achieve it, leading to others deferring to her authority.
- **Counseling Requests:** Parents or colleagues asking the speaker for diagnoses for themselves or friends.
- **Behavioral Examples:** A participant not correcting the pronunciation of her name at work to avoid being seen as an "angry black woman"; another participant having to prioritize family care over personal depression.
- **Physical Self-Care:** Participants being mindful of their bodies and attire due to past experiences of molestation.
- **The House Metaphor:** The elephant (woodworker) attempting to enter the giraffe's house (built for him), which requires the elephant to try to adapt by listing activities like "go on a diet," only to realize the structure is fundamentally incompatible with his nature.
- **The Self-Realization:** The speaker feeling that her colleagues' structured work environment (the "house") was working perfectly for them, but speaking up felt like "trying to tear down their house."

## Tools, Tech & Products
- **TV/Social Media:** Sources of constant, overwhelming stimulation ("my emotional health is under attack").
- **Virtual Meeting Space:** The setting that rendered the speaker feeling "invisible," regardless of her credentials (PhD, suits, code-switching).

## References Cited
- **Book:** *Building a House for Diversity* (source of the elephant and giraffe story).
- **Authors:** R. Roosevelt Thomas (author of the story).

## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Conformity vs. Authenticity:** Choosing the perceived safety of conformity over the struggle of authenticity, which is itself a kind of battle.
- **Exceptionalism vs. Normalcy:** The tension between achieving an "exceptional" status (like a PhD) and the reality of navigating everyday, undifferentiated spaces (like the virtual office).
- **Visible Expertise vs. Embodied Experience:** The speaker prefers relying on "embodied experience" over citing specific academic training when addressing people.

## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The story of the elephant/giraffe does not address "the cost of conformity" or "the price of exceptionalism."
- It fails to address the "stripping of identities" that occurs within one's own community (being called out as "out of touch or bougie").

## Methodology
- Dissertation methodology: Qualitative study on how African-American women in the U.S view and attain success.
- Current research methodology: Advocating for an "emancipatory" and community-led approach ("by us and for us").

## Conclusions & Recommendations
- The speaker must proactively assert her existence and self-worth in professional spaces where she feels invisible.
- Implement three actionable directives for self-reflection: **Reflect**, **Renounce**, and **Rejoice**.
- **Reflect:** Ask the central questions: "Who am I? Am I who I say I am and am I all I ought to be?"
- **Renounce:** Vow to reject external attempts to name or limit identity with the declaration: "You don't get to name me."
- **Rejoice:** Be intentional about creating joy as a resistance mechanism.

## Implications & Consequences
- Continued emotional or professional suppression due to fear of consequence is unsustainable and damaging.
- The struggle for self-definition transcends race, gender, or class; it is a universal challenge of navigating external definition.
- The mantra *"I look in the mirror and I say be mindful and be yourself do your job and do you have faith and have a drink reach back while moving forward see the moment and seize the moment and slaying is non-negotiable period"* is an active tool for continued resistance.

## Verbatim Moments
- *"how others view you or how you view yourself"*
- *"on my degree are written these words rights privileges responsibilities at pertaining thereto"*
- *"how I'm responding to people is based on my embodied experience"*
- *"controlling images"*
- *"I don't even correct people on the pronunciation of my name because I don't want to be seen as an angry black woman"*
- *"this space will always render me invisible"*
- *"I was trying to make myself at home"* (The elephant's statement)
- *"I was actually my behaviors that I was choosing was actually in response to these things"*
- *"I decided that who I am as I am In This Moment is enough"*
- *"I want you to say to them you don't get to name me"*
- *"Don't just expect to find joy in the flowers and the trees and the grass right I want you to be intentional about creating Joy"*
- *"I look in the mirror and I say be mindful and be yourself do your job and do you have faith and have a drink reach back while moving forward see the moment and seize the moment and slaying is non-negotiable period"*