Did you judge me? Transform stereotype, racism, and your world | Zamina Mithani | TEDxStanleyPark
The speaker argues that judging people based on appearance is harmful because it prevents learning and collaboration; instead, we should judge people by their actions and contributions to society, exemplified by connecting with a homeless man named Jacob. She details how superficial judgments are institutionalized by modern technology and history, suggesting that kindness and focusing on positives are necessary to move toward a world of acceptance. The core message is that despite superficial differences—like clothing or skin color—all humans share fundamental commonalities.
## Speakers & Context
- Unnamed speaker.
- Personal anecdotes used to illustrate the theme of prejudice versus action.
- Visit to grandmother in Toronto on Yonge Street, where a neighbor used appearance (hoodie) to judge a man.
## Theses & Positions
- Judging people solely by appearance is detrimental because it causes us to "lose out on the opportunity to learn from or about them."
- Biases create barriers, turning words into walls and forcing people into categories rather than fostering kindness.
- Society is overly obsessed with appearance, a problem monetized by companies whose founders built platforms like Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, and Snapchat.
- Judging by actions, shared stories, company, and societal contributions is superior to judging by looks.
- The progression from judgment $\rightarrow$ prejudice $\rightarrow$ discrimination $\rightarrow$ targeted shootings/ethnic cleansing demonstrates the danger of the initial act of judgment.
- The ability to "judge our judgment" is the necessary first step toward avoiding prejudice.
- The path to a world of love requires looking kindly upon everyone, looking at the upside (positive) instead of the downside of difference, and recognizing shared humanity.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Judgment/Prejudice/Discrimination:** Presented as a dangerous escalation sequence where judgment is the initiating step.
- **"Us and Them":** Described as an "outdated" thinking pattern, historically associated with nomadic hunters vs. lions.
- **"Melanin":** Used as a descriptor contrasted with inherent human merit.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Technological Monetization of Appearance:** Founders of Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, and Snapchat have profited from the societal compulsion to appear or be perceived positively.
- **Judging Protocol:** The process starts with observing an external characteristic (e.g., a hoodie), leading to an assumption, which hardens into prejudice, and ultimately results in discrimination.
- **The Kindness Bridge:** Small acts of kindness, such as providing a meal, serve as the tangible connection that bypasses superficial judgment.
- **Human Commonality:** The speaker posits that the universal physical responses—bleeding when cut, smiling when tickled—are the ultimate common denominators.
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Grade 3:** Learning to distinguish oneself by adopting a piece of cloth on the head, leading to initial judgment from peers.
- **Couple of months ago (visiting grandmother in Toronto):** Incident involving judging a man in a hoodie on Yonge Street.
- **Grade seven:** School fundraising announcement in Haiti; using rapping to shift the parents' focus from appearance/label to shared identity/purpose.
- **Cold rainy Vancouver afternoon:** Encounter with homeless men on the Downtown Eastside at Pigeon Park, leading to the subsequent act of kindness.
- **Current time:** A call to action to consciously engage in "judging our judgment."
## Named Entities
- **Toronto:** Location of the grandmother's visit.
- **Yonge Street:** Specific location in Toronto where the judging incident occurred.
- **Vancouver:** Location where the speaker was born and raised; site of the encounter with the homeless men.
- **Haiti:** Village being raised for funds.
- **Ethiopian:** Ancestral background implied in connection to the speaker's heritage (though not explicitly stated, implied through context/dialogue).
- **Tamil:** Ethnic group mentioned in context of appearance/labeling.
## Numbers & Data
- **Grade:** 3 (age of first judging experience).
- **Appreciation/Money raised:** More money than expected was raised after the rapping performance.
- **Five minutes:** Duration of the successful, different announcement performance.
## Examples & Cases
- **The Cloth:** Wearing a piece of cloth on her head (hijab) leading to initial judging.
- **The Hoodie Incident:** Grandmother stopping the car because a man in a hoodie "looks like a thief."
- **The Smartphone Addiction:** Using smartphones to constantly compare profiles and seek validation (likes/comments).
- **The Rapping Announcement:** Performing rap music in uniform and hijab to raise funds for Haiti, shifting parental expectation.
- **The Pigeon Park Encounter:** Observing a homeless man with a dark skin, scraggly beard, and a deep scar down his right cheek; later feeding him egg salad sandwiches.
- **Historical Comparisons:** Comparing judging to:
* Einstein's voluminous hair vs. theory on relativity.
* Gandhi's loincloth vs. conquering colonialism.
* Hitler's hippy mustache vs. depravity.
* The contrast between the speaker (visibly Muslim woman) and the stereotypes she faces.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Facebook, Tinder, Instagram, Snapchat:** Platforms profiting from appearance-based validation.
- **Smartphones:** Tools used by society to enforce appearance-based scrutiny.
## References Cited
- **Mandir:** A proposed app for single Muslims.
- **Kanye West and Isis:** Referenced to illustrate unexpected cultural combinations/potential.
- **Einstein, Gandhi, Hitler:** Historical figures cited regarding appearance vs. impact.
- **Mandela and the Malolos:** Historical leaders cited for merit, not appearance.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speech itself argues against the premise that "we know enough to pass a judgement" from the first encounter.
- The audience's immediate reaction to the speaker's outfit (hijab + gear) demonstrated initial judgment, which she then subverted.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- **To avoid pre-judgment, do two things:**
1. Look kindly upon everyone met, regardless of appearance or origin; focus on how they can help "us grow."
2. Look at the upside (positive) rather than the downside of those who look different.
- The goal is to move beyond labels toward a "world of love."
## Implications & Consequences
- Continuing the cycle of judgment leads to systemic oppression (immigration bans, targeted shootings, ethnic cleansing).
- If we fail to judge our judgments, we reinforce outdated, primitive tribal thinking ("us and them").
## Verbatim Moments
- *"I know it's because I'm trying to hide my bald spots."* (Quote used by a girl to accuse the speaker).
- *"If we judge people by how they look we lose out on the opportunity to learn from or about them and society loses out on those opportunities to collaborate."*
- *"If you think about it there are so many Muslims who don't look like me and there are so many people who look like me who are just cold."*
- *"It doesn't matter where you're from or where you think you're gonna be we're all just one."*
- *"What matters at the end of the day is how they can help us grow."*
- *"If you ask us do we look the same we will probably say no no we don't we don't look the same and that is precisely what makes our species so beautiful."*