Why you can't Rah Rah your way to success! | Amanda Johnson | TEDxSouthportElementarySchool
The speaker argues that success comes not from "rah-rah" pep talks, but from demonstrating desirable qualities by asking oneself, "Who am I willing to be?" This method closes the gap between current reality and desired state by operationalizing admirable traits through action. The process involves identifying an admired person and consciously acting on their assumed qualities.
## Theses & Positions
- *Being willing* is a useful concept, as demonstrated by the speaker's work in financial planning.
- Simply *wanting* to be a certain way or doing something does not mean you are currently that way or that you can achieve it by mere declaration.
- To close the gap between current reality and desired state requires effort.
- Effective self-improvement is achieved by asking, "Who am I willing to be?" rather than giving pep talks.
- The core mechanism is to demonstrate admired qualities in action, rather than declaring oneself to already possess them.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Willing (adj.)**:
- Inclined or favorably disposed in mind; ready, willing, and eager to help.
- Prompt to act or respond; lending a willing hand.
- Done or accepted by choice or without reluctance; a willing sacrifice.
- **The Gap**: The space between one's *current reality* and how one *wants things to be*.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **The Failure of Pep Talks**:
- Giving oneself a pep talk (e.g., "you're gonna be the best goalie") is undermined by internal resistance.
- The brain cannot hear the word "don't" when negative self-talk occurs, and declaring perfection creates an internal argument ("the monkey").
- **The 3-Step Process**:
1. Think of somebody you admire (a person, character, or current goal).
2. Identify one or two qualities that person possesses (e.g., kind, enthusiastic).
3. Ask yourself: "How could I bring these qualities to bear and demonstrate them in what I'm doing right now?"
4. Execute the action; this demonstrable action is the catalyst for improvement.
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker is a financial planner who found the word "willing" useful in helping clients manage their finances.
- The talk addresses the gap between *aspiration* and *reality* in achieving success.
## Named Entities
- **Renee Fleming**: An opera singer used as a personal example of applying the self-improvement process.
## Numbers & Data
- Webster's Dictionary (source for definition).
- Choir size: Over **120 singers**.
- Performance audience sizes: Between **850** and **2500** people.
## Examples & Cases
- **Self-Identification Failure**: Participants raised hands when asked if they were 100% the musician, athlete, or artist they want to be, demonstrating the gap between aspiration and reality.
- **Pep Talk Failure**: Example of telling oneself not to mess up goals in sports or performance.
- **Admiration Model**: The speaker asked what Renee Fleming would do when getting nervous on stage (alert, focused, attentive), leading the speaker to perform that action instead.
- **Application of Process**: Applying the concept by asking: "Am I willing to be courageous? Am I willing to be creative? Am I willing to be focused?" and then performing the corresponding action.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- None mentioned.
## References Cited
- *The Energy of Money* (book).
- Webster's Dictionary (source of definition).
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Pep Talks (Ineffective)**: Attempting to force current action through positive declaration.
- **"Who am I willing to be" (Effective)**: Focusing on potential capacity by demonstrating admired qualities through action.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- Declaring one is already the best goalie or artist creates a gap that leads to internal arguing ("the monkey").
- The failure to be 100% the admired ideal is normal.
## Methodology
- Surveying the audience's belief in their current level of mastery vs. desired mastery.
- Utilizing personal anecdotes (choir singing, opera performance) to demonstrate the inadequacy of mere positive talk.
- Establishing a structured, actionable 3-step framework for self-improvement.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- To improve a skill, one must ask: "Who am I willing to be?"
- The recommended method is to: 1) Think of someone admired, 2) Identify their qualities, 3) Demonstrate those qualities in the current activity.
## Implications & Consequences
- This behavioral framework bypasses the need for declarative belief by grounding aspiration in demonstrable, actionable capacity.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"good morning why you can't rah-rah your way to success and what to do instead."*
- *"willing is an adjective which I'm sure you've studied and it means inclined or favorably disposed in mind ready willing and eager to help it also can mean prompt to act or respond lending a willing hand and it can mean done or accept it by choice or without reluctance a willing sacrifice."*
- *"there is a gap in the middle of those two things and in order to close that gap and to have things be the way you want them to be that takes effort."*
- *"your brain and all of our brains doesn't hear the word don't."*
- *"the monkey starts to argue with you."*
- *"think of two or three qualities that you admire about them."*
- *"I asked myself well what would Renee do would she be alert would she be focused would she be attentive and then I asked myself well what would an alert focused attentive musician do right now?"*
- *"ask yourself in that moment how could I bring these qualities to bear and demonstrate them in what I'm doing right now."*
- *"and that's how you can skip the rah-rah and get results."*