Ce qu’on ne nous dit pas étant petit | Max Joseph | TEDxINSA
The speaker posits that anxiety is a byproduct of an overreliance on structure, arguing that good storytelling, and thus a well-lived life, must prioritize emotional 'flow' and 'energy' over the delivery of mere information or concrete answers. He stresses that while structured plans and rules offer comfort, true fulfillment requires embracing the unpredictable, emotional current of experience, exemplified by his wife's consistent energy despite language barriers. The central directive is to follow what lights you up—in people, passions, and projects—rather than what seems logical or lucrative.
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker: Very anxious person who has dedicated 75 to 85% of his moment-to-moment brain power to worrisome obsessions.
- Wife: Mentioned as the person from whom one can ask who wakes up every morning very anxious.
## Theses & Positions
- Playing by established rules (e.g., achieving grades, winning in sports) provides comfort and structure during formative years, but this structure fails upon graduation.
- Becoming a film director requires no prerequisites, making it *"a total free-for-all."*
- People remember the emotions they felt while watching media, not the factual information presented.
- *Flow is king*: good storytelling requires managing the "ebb and flow of energy," similar to music, rather than a rational, A-to-B-to-C delivery.
- Energy is fundamentally greater than information; the body's energy signals do not lie.
- The best work comes from things done purely out of love and passion, even if paid little or nothing, rather than those done for monetary gain or prestige.
- To live well, one must find things and people that "light you up."
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Anxiety:** Defined as dedicating 75 to 85% of one's moment-to-moment brain power towards worrisome obsessions.
- **Storytelling rules:** The "rules underneath the rules of storytelling" that enable the creation of a good, compelling, emotionally satisfying movie story.
- **Movie:** Defined by the speaker as a "series of dramatic questions."
- **Flow:** Described as being "musical rather than rational"; the natural rhythm of energy shifts (suspense, anticipation, acceleration, etc.).
- **Emotional playlist:** A metaphor describing the required structure of a good story, avoiding placing multiple slow songs or multiple fast songs consecutively.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Funneling anxiety through rules:** School success (A's, winning tennis, being class president) provided necessary structure to alleviate the speaker's anxiety.
- **The natural cycle of a movie:** Involves posing dramatic questions initially, building tension, answering the big question at the climax, and providing resolution or aftermath afterward.
- **The process of good storytelling:** Building energy through emotional shifts (suspense, anticipation) rather than a linear delivery of facts.
- **Editing for energy:** The practical method of filtering footage to focus on moments where people "light up," rather than simply assembling footage based on informational content.
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Early Life (School):** Period of following rules, including doing homework, getting A's, playing tennis, winning at tennis, being class president, or editor of the paper.
- **Post-School Period:** Move to Los Angeles, initially believing it was a prerequisite to becoming a film director.
- **Editing Career:** Started editing when the speaker was 15 years old and has been doing it for over 20 years, accumulating more than 10,000 hours of editing.
- **Relationship Formation:** Relationship with wife based on "great energy" for the first three years, despite not speaking the same language.
## Named Entities
- Los Angeles: Misunderstood as a prerequisite for becoming a film director.
## Numbers & Data
- Anxiety percentage: **75 to 85%** of moment-to-moment brain power dedicated to worrisome obsessions.
- Years of editing experience: **Over 20 years**.
- Editing hours logged: **More than 10,000 hours**.
- Duration of movie: Generally **ninety minutes to two hours**.
- Structural divisions of film: Potential for **three acts** or **five acts**.
## Examples & Cases
- **School structure example:** Doing homework, getting A's, playing tennis, winning at tennis, being class president, or editor of the paper.
- **Film structure examples (Dramatic Questions):**
- *Titanic*: The question of whether their love would be successful or if they would survive.
- *Fight Club*: The question of whether Edward Norton's character would overcome his pathetic nature.
- *American Beauty*: The question of how Kevin Spacey's character would die.
- **Television show example:** Speaker has been making a TV show for the last seven years, creating over a hundred episodes.
- **Sketching analogy:** To sketch someone, it is better to draw the "dark patches where the light is falling" and leave the bright patches blank.
- **Relationship example:** Speaker and wife's relationship sustained by "great energy" for the first three years, despite language barriers.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- Predator: Movie title used as an analogy for an energy detector, seeing body heat/energy.
## References Cited
- *Titanic*: Cited as an example of a dramatic question (Will their love be successful?).
- *Fight Club*: Cited as an example of a dramatic question (Will Edward Norton's character overcome his pathetic nature?).
- *American Beauty*: Cited as an example of a dramatic question (How will Kevin Spacey's character end up dying?).
- *The Predator*: Movie title used as an analogy for perceiving body energy.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Following Rules (Path A):** Provided structure and comfort during youth.
- **No Rules (Path B):** Becoming a director requires no prerequisites.
- **Information vs. Energy:** Information is intellectual and boring; energy is what people feel and remember.
- **Structured Plan vs. Flow:** Rigid plans are not a recipe for happiness; one must allow the flow to take control.
- **Paid work vs. Passionate work:** Money-driven work is often detrimental; passion-driven work yields the best results.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- **Film structure debate:** Uncertainty over whether a movie is defined by a fixed time (90-120 min) or structure (three acts/five acts).
- **Life vs. Movie:** Life is fundamentally frustrating because it never provides the definitive answers and catharsis found in cinema.
- **Dialogue reliance:** Assuming characters saying what the audience wants to hear is insufficient for a good narrative.
## Methodology
- The speaker analyzed what constitutes a film, concluding it is structurally a series of dramatic questions designed to elicit emotional tension.
- Applied an "energy filter" to editing, prioritizing moments of emotional reaction (lights up) over mere exposition.
- Applied this framework to personal anxiety management, suggesting one should stop asking anxious questions and move forward.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- When anxious, stop asking yourself questions about your future or status, and instead, "put one foot in front of the other and move on."
- Do not allow rigid planning (like a five-year plan) to dictate happiness; one must let the flow guide the journey.
- When choosing partners or mentors, prioritize those who energize you, even if the connection isn't intellectually profound.
- In all endeavors, focus on passion and love, as these drive the best, most authentic outcomes.
## Implications & Consequences
- Over-focusing on structure keeps one trapped in predictable, unfulfilling patterns.
- Ignoring flow leads to a boring, dead-straight trajectory, lacking any movement or interest.
- The heart must be in the work; if passion is absent, the effort will feel hollow, regardless of professional potential.
## Open Questions
- How to find ultimate peace and catharsis in life when it is fundamentally different from the definitive answers provided by cinema.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"it's kind of funny that you guys invited me to speak about breaking the rules because most of my life I've followed the rules"*
- *"75 to 85% of my moment-to-moment brain power dedicated towards worrisome obsessions"*
- *"there are no rules there's no prerequisite to get there"*
- *"it's just a total free-for-all"*
- *"a movie is a series of dramatic questions"*
- *"Flow is king"*
- *"people are not data processors"*
- *"the things that they remember are the emotions that they felt while there while they were watching it they don't remember the information so much as they do the experience of watching it"*
- *"flow... is basically its musical as opposed to rational"*
- *"if you're doing a sketch of someone the best thing you can do is actually instead of just like drawing an outline... the best thing you could do is actually just draw the dark parts where the light is falling"*
- *"Life is fundamentally frustrating right and you don't get those answers"*
- *"let's just stop asking those questions"*
- *"put one foot in front of the other and I move on"*
- *"let the flow let the flow take you"*
- *"go go with people who energize you right as opposed to people who deflate you"*
- *"the things that I've done where I've gotten paid nothing or got paid very little where the budget was nothing those things those are the best things I've ever done"*