The 'Like' Generation | Mikela Fenech Pace | TEDxUniversityofMalta
The speaker argues that social media creates a facade of perfect, positive reality, distracting us from genuine human depth. She advocates for seeking "reality checks"—difficult, unfiltered life experiences—to appreciate that real human connection matters more than online validation. The core message is to "dig deep and find your passions," remembering that the most important "like of your life is your like."
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker is an experienced presenter, noting she is "probably the eldest of all the speakers," aged 40.
- Delivery context: Discussing social media usage to an audience of people who are practically all on social media.
## Theses & Positions
- Social media fosters a world of *validation*, creating a generation, the "like generation," that constantly needs external affirmation.
- The reality presented online is merely a *"slice of reality,"* a snapshot that omits difficult moments, disappointments, and tantrums.
- True human value and connection derive from deep, lived experience, not curated online posts.
- The most crucial element of life's success is personal fulfillment, encapsulated by the assertion that "the most important like of your life is your like."
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Validation:** The constant external need to be liked or acknowledged (e.g., waiting for likes/notifications).
- **Like generation:** The current era defined by the pursuit of online affirmation.
- **Reality check:** Difficult, unscripted life events (e.g., death, crisis) that force confrontation with unvarnished truth.
- **Facade vs. Reality:** The discrepancy between the curated, positive content posted online and the messy, imperfect reality of human existence.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Communication History Comparison:** Contrasting modern social media use with previous methods:
- Old method: Writing letters, writing two or three pages of analysis, keeping diaries, having pen friends, spending hours transcribing songs using cassette recorders.
- Modern method: Instantaneous likes, immediate notification streams.
- **Parenting/Workplace Dynamics:**
- Younger generation expects constant verbal affirmation in the workplace (e.g., *"The client said, you know, great, well done."*).
- The process of motherhood/parenting forces the acceptance of unpredictability (tantrums, answer back, rudeness).
- **Crisis Experience (Libya):** A time when the community was forced to rely on physical, in-person relationships for survival and evacuation (e.g., moving by sea, leaving everything behind).
## Timeline & Sequence
- **Recent Past:** Clearing the speaker's mother's house, uncovering years of letters written by friends when communication was difficult.
- **Recent Past:** The speaker's personal realization regarding her own need for balance as a wife and mother.
- **Historical Contrast:** Pre-social media communication relied heavily on *writing* and slow exchange.
- **Major Historical Event:** The Libya crisis, cited as an *amazing year and a half* where life was restricted but relationships were tested.
## Named Entities
- **Malta** — location where the speaker witnessed the fallout of the Libya crisis.
- **Libya** — source of the recent crisis experience that served as a reality check.
- **Jackie** — individual whose subsequent memoir provided the material for the speaker's potential book.
## Numbers & Data
- Age of the speaker: **40**.
- Number of friend requests received by the husband in one week: **about 365**.
- Key statistic noted in the context of the crisis: **21,000** people evacuated.
- The speaker notes that the process of writing letters used to take *"two or three a night pages."*
## Examples & Cases
- **Husband's Facebook Error:** Not choosing a profile picture, leading friends to assume the account was fake until they started posting photos of him.
- **Mother's Tantrum Scene:** Witnessing a mother with a two-year-old having a "mother of all tantrums" in public, forcing the crowd to watch.
- **Parenting Reality:** The speaker's acknowledgment that she "can't wait for them to wake up" during summer breaks, demonstrating the inescapable nature of parenting.
- **The Father's Passing:** The speaker's personal "worst reality check" was her father passing away from cancer, a situation far removed from online life.
- **Libyan Child Example:** Witnessing a 13-year-old Libyan child with rocket-propelled grenades blown up in her chest fighting for life on the way to Malta.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Facebook, Instagram, Etsy:** Examples of social media platforms.
- **Cassette recorder:** Tool used in previous communication methods for transcribing songs.
- **iPhone/Smartphone:** Device used ubiquitously for checking notifications and engaging with social media.
## References Cited
- *No formal external sources or books were cited, other than the implied body of work leading to the memoir mentioned.*
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Online Display vs. Reality:** Trading the "fun" and "amusing" facade of social media for the messy, difficult, but real experiences of life.
- **Constant Validation vs. Self-Sufficiency:** Trading the immediate reward of digital likes for the internal stability gained from surviving real-life crises.
- **Writing vs. Typing:** Trading the deep, reflective labor of writing letters and diary entries for the speed and superficiality of digital posts.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker admits that she herself is part of the generation that participates in social media ("I do it, right?").
- She acknowledges that the desire for connection is universal: *"And this is it. relationships do matter."*
- She concedes that "balance... doesn't really actually exist."
## Methodology
- **Anecdotal storytelling:** Using personal anecdotes (husband, mother, father, Libya) to illustrate conceptual arguments about modern technology's impact on humanity.
- **Comparative analysis:** Juxtaposing historical methods of communication (letters, diaries) against current digital habits (likes, notifications).
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Dig deep and find your passions because everything happens for a reason.
- Enjoy social media as entertainment, but always remember that the person behind the photo is a complex human being.
- Seek genuine "reality checks" in life's difficulties, as these experiences reveal true human connection.
## Implications & Consequences
- Over-reliance on social media can lead to feeling inadequate because the displayed reality is manufactured and incomplete.
- Profound, physical human relationships are necessary for true survival and emotional grounding, as demonstrated during crises like the Libya crisis.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"the most important like of your life is your like."*
- *"And we would write letters so we'd write two or three a night pages and pages of analysis."*
- *"it's all positive, positive, positive."*
- *"we're living in a world of validation. It's what I like to call we're the like generation."*
- *"I don't think the word balance in life really actually exists."*
- *"the facade we misinterpret to be an actual reality which is in fact not a 100% % reality."*
- *"And the truth is you don't find your reality on Facebook or on Instagram or on Snapchat."*
- *"relationships do matter and not relationships that you build up just on Facebook on just on Instagram but real true physical relationships, people relationships."*
- *"dig deep and find your passions. Everything in life happens for a reason."*