What day of the week is someday?: Todd Reubold at TEDxUMN
The speaker argues that life's meaning comes from embracing the present moment by actively pursuing meaningful, small experiences rather than waiting for a future "someday." Tragic losses—like the collapse of the I-35W bridge and a mother's death—catalyzed a shift toward intentional living, leading the speaker to create a "40 things I wanted to do before my next birthday" list. This process emphasized that connection with loved ones and mindful experience, whether a road trip to Iowa or spending time with family, is more valuable than grand achievements.
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker, giving a talk to an audience.
- The speaker shares personal narratives involving profound loss and subsequent life reorientation.
## Theses & Positions
- The most profound lessons about life are often learned during "life's darkest moments."
- A primary struggle is procrastination in living, encapsulated by waiting for a hypothetical "someday."
- True richness in life is found not in grand achievements (like summiting Mount Everest), but in meaningful, personal moments with loved ones.
- The act of intentionally listing and pursuing small, cherished goals (the "40 things") can redefine one's sense of purpose.
- The current moment ("this penny") is the most valuable commodity compared to the unchangeable past or the uncertain future.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Intentional living:** Being "fully alive in those moments" rather than being a passenger watching life pass by.
- **The 40 by 40 list:** A list compiled by the speaker of "40 things I wanted to do before my next birthday," serving as a tangible guide for goal-setting.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Grief Progression:** The speaker went through the five stages of grief (Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) but found a sixth, powerful feeling: intense calm.
- **Life Audit:** The speaker compared time spent working/on computers (2200 hours) versus time spent hiking (50 hours), realizing a massive imbalance in how they spent their time.
- **Goal Activation:** The mechanism of sharing a personal goal list with family, friends, and a blog prompts external support and motivation.
## Timeline & Sequence
- **August 1st, 2007 (6:04 p.m. - 6:05 p.m.):** The I-35W bridge over the Mississippi River in Minneapolis collapsed.
- **Immediately following the collapse:** The speaker raced to parents' house; mother recounted being on the bridge minutes before.
- **After the bridge collapse:** The speaker flew overseas, which was the last time seeing his mother alive.
- **Later that night:** The speaker was unaware of his mother's emergency; she was found unresponsive in the hospital.
- **The next day:** The speaker learned his mother died due to a burst blood vessel (aneurysm).
- **Days, weeks, and months following the death:** The speaker processed grief and, subsequently, the diagnosis of his dog, Jasper, with cancer.
- **Towards the end of Jasper's life:** The family took a road trip to the Black Hills.
- **Afterward:** The speaker began the reflection process, noticing the contrast between memories and present reality.
- **The following winter's afternoon:** The speaker compiled and printed the "40 things" list.
- **The resulting year:** The speaker shared the list, resulting in trips to the mountains, a water slide park, a drive to Iowa, and reconnecting with his sister in New Mexico.
## Named Entities
- **University of Minnesota** — Location of the event on August 1st, 2007.
- **Minneapolis** — City where the I-35W bridge collapsed.
- **Mississippi River** — Body of water spanned by the I-35W bridge.
- **Jasper** — The speaker's dog; served as a best friend for nine years.
- **Black Hills** — Destination of a family road trip.
- **Iowa** — Location reached during a self-directed driving trip with dog Zoe.
- **Zoe** — The speaker's dog.
- **New Mexico** — Destination for a weekend trip with the speaker's sister.
## Numbers & Data
- Date of collapse: **August 1st, 2007**.
- Time of collapse: **6:04 p.m. to 6:05 p.m.**
- Number of siblings/parents traveling on the bridge: **Most of the speaker's family**.
- Duration of Jasper's companionship: **Nine years**.
- Time discrepancy: **2200 hours** sitting at a computer vs. **50 hours** hiking in a year.
- Number of emails to sift through: **15,000**.
- Number of photos taken: **1,500**.
- Duration of time lived: **Nearly 15,000 days**.
- Target list length: **40 things**.
## Examples & Cases
- **The I-35W collapse:** Witnessing the massive explosion and subsequent collapse of the bridge structure.
- **The farewell:** The moment the speaker closed the door on his mother, promising, *"I'll see you soon."*
- **The revelation:** Realizing that moments with Jasper were among the best moments because they were lived with intent.
- **Personal Reflection:** The conscious act of questioning, *"why am I spending most of my year 2200 hours sitting in front of a computer but only 50 hours hiking when I'd much rather be outside?"*
- **Water slide lesson:** Being warned that it is a "bad idea to put your hand up to try and slow yourself down" while sliding.
- **Failure/Success:** Attempting meditation but only falling asleep; successfully connecting with strangers to go water skiing.
- **Family History Video:** Sitting down with father to create a family history video.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Computer:** Used for logging hours and compiling thoughts.
- **Journal or Notebook:** Traditional tools for capturing lists of goals.
- **Blog:** Platform used to share the generated list and gain public support.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- It is challenging to assign direct causation, noting, *"I know that the collapse of the bridge didn't cause my mom's death."*
- The speaker acknowledges failures in the process, citing his inability to maintain meditation.
- The belief that one needs to do something grand is challenged by the preference for small, meaningful actions.
## Methodology
- **Narrative reflection:** Using personal trauma (accidents, death) as a catalyst for self-examination.
- **Inventory creation:** Systematically cataloging desired life activities into a defined list ("40 things").
- **Socialization:** Sharing the list publicly (blogging) to elicit help and accountability.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- Stop waiting for "someday," because "someday might never come."
- The focus must shift from the unchangeable past (the "jar of pennies") or the uncertain future (the "suitcase") to appreciating the **present moment**.
- Value the time spent with loved ones *right now*.
## Implications & Consequences
- Loss of loved ones means losing their stories, making the act of recording and sharing stories vital.
- Overcoming paralysis by grand ideals requires focusing on actionable, meaningful micro-experiences.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"Isn't it interesting how sometimes we learn the most about ourselves in life's darkest moments?"*
- *"I love you, Mom. I'll see you soon."*
- *"All things that I thought mattered in the world, work, promotions, none of that mattered anymore."*
- *"He was my best friend in the world."*
- *"I was no longer a passenger in a car watching life go by. I was living completely in those moments with Jasper."*
- *"why am I spending most of my year 2200 hours sitting in front of a computer but only 50 hours hiking when I'd much rather be outside?"*
- *"I decided to stop waiting for someday."*
- *"it's not about doing something grand. It's about doing something meaningful, something that matters to you, no matter how big or small that might be."*
- *"This penny represents this moment and this day and this time I have to spend with the loved ones I have right now."*
- *"Stop waiting for someday because someday might never come."*