How to transform lives through hope and courage | David Young | TEDxWhite Rock
## Speaker Context - Speaker identity: David Young, giving thoughts about Hope and courage. - Audience, setting, occasion of the talk: Audience attending an event (implied setting). - Any framing the speaker establishes for themselves up front: Focus on how to instill a sense of Hope in the future and help people strengthen their courage to realize their dreams and resolve issues facing the world today. ## People - David Young: Speaker, son of Dot and Gord; discusses lessons learned from his parents. - Dot: Speaker's mother; described as the eternal optimist; passed away this year at age 89. - Gord: Speaker's father; described as a man of courage; passed away 15 years to the week before Dot. - Diane: Employee at the resources Center on Maple Street; treats everybody with respect, kindness and warmth. - Alex: Speaker's son; worked for a large corporate accounting firm in Toronto; launched a journey with his father. ## Organizations - Sources: Community Based not-for-profit organization; promotes social wellness and Community. - Resources Center on Maple Street: Location associated with Diane; where people are greeted. - Army: Gord's former military service; Gord was a sergeant major in the Army. ## Places - Maple Street: Location of the resources Center. - Ontario: Location where a snowstorm or blizzard occurred. - Toronto: Location where Alex worked for a corporate accounting firm. ## Tools, Tech & Products - Hearing aids: Item the speaker had to remove before putting on a set (indicating a temporary issue). ## Concepts & Definitions - Hope: A central theme; ability to instill in the future; necessary for change. - Courage: A central theme; ability to make change; built through process. - Anor: Old French word meaning building strengths; relates to courage. - Pathway: A concept used to describe the journey toward change; avoiding the term "plan." - Transactional: Describing interactions where people are treated as commodities (e.g., in fast food). ## Numbers & Data - 67: Speaker's current age. - 89: Age of Dot when she passed away. - 15: Duration (in years) between the death of Gord and Dot. - 30 mil: Distance from home that the car ran out of gas on during a family trip. - 40s and 50s: Decades when the speaker lived through the measles epidemic. - Two or three weeks: Duration of quarantine during the measles epidemic. - 17: Number of years the speaker has worked at Sources. ## Claims & Theses - The speaker is the oldest person on stage that day. - What we likely share as we age is how we look at the impact we have had on the communities and societies we engage with. - The speaker's focus has been on instilling a sense of Hope in the future and helping people strengthen their courage. - Dot would find the opportunity within the challenge; the problem anything that we faced could always be worse. - Gord made sure the car was well tuned, oiled, and fine tuned with military Precision. - The unifying thing that brings people together at Sources is that when they walk out, they feel somewhat more hopeful than when they entered. - The key thing needed at the moment of entry is to make sure they feel hope, and the best way to do that is to express kindness and sincerity and to ensure they realize they are the most important person. - We use both our hearts and our heads to innovate Solutions to problems people face. - The heartfelt response, the hope, is the beginning of a journey of change for people. - It is hard to make change if it was easy, because the person would already have done it. - The Heart Alone won't help the transformation; moving directly to just fixing the problem won't help. - Transformation requires hope and courage. ## Mechanisms & Processes - How the speaker was encouraged by his mother: Finding opportunity within challenges (e.g., half-empty cupboard being always half full). - How the speaker was supported by his father: Ensuring the car was well tuned and knew the roads. - The process of building resiliency: Coping with failures, pitfalls, and challenges. - The agency's process: Ensuring people feel more hopeful upon leaving than when they arrived, even if problems weren't solved. - The process for change: 1) Identify a pathway forward; 2) Talk about equipping oneself (training, awareness building, communication skills, relationships); 3) Explore deficits and strengths; 4) Determine necessary relationships/connections; 5) Travel the journey together. - The mechanism for shared learning: Reading self-help and professional development books together and sharing learned insights. ## Timeline & Events - This year: Dot passed away. - 15 years to the week: Date range related to Dot and Gord passing. - During the midst of the covid-19 epidemic: Time frame for Dot's example. - A number of years ago: Time when the speaker experienced terrible waiting room experiences at the family doctor. - A number of years ago: Time when the speaker took his dog to the vet. - Last year: Time when the speaker's son, Alex, informed him he was unhappy at his job. - One year: Duration of the journey Alex and his father undertook to achieve the next employment. ## Examples & Cases - Dot's response to running out of gas on a family trip: "Thank God it wasn't 60 miles I think we can walk it." - Dot's cupboard example: When half empty, it was always half full. - Gord's maintenance: Making sure the car was well tuned and oiled. - Example of poor service: The waiting room experience at the family doctor when the staff didn't treat him like he was valued. - Example of good service: The receptionist at the dentist office treating him like gold. - Example of good service: Taking a dog to the vet where it was treated like Platinum. - The "Discover Why" program: A free counseling Program for Young People. - Case of a couple: Being helped by friends at the peace artch resource center, seeing hope in their eyes before the appointment. - Alex's employment situation: Working for a large corporate accounting firm in Toronto and then deciding he needed to quit. ## Trade-offs & Alternatives - Being able to walk 60 miles vs. the car running out of gas (managed by Dot's optimism). - Transactional service (fast food, last person served) vs. a relationship with people who walk through the doors. - Solving problems for people vs. working together on what solutions might be. - The difficulty of making change when it was easy vs. the necessity of the journey for hope and encouragement. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The speaker was the only one in the group who had to remove his hearing aids before they could put this set on. - We may not have solved their problems or come up with Solutions for people at Sources, but they should not feel alone. - People don't know how to respond to those dealing with homelessness and addiction, and they look for clear-cut guidance. - The speaker must be careful not to insert plug-and-play options in people's lives; must solve *with*, not *for*. - The speaker's own ability to find inner patience during Alex's journey. ## Methodology - The speaker's role at Sources: Working with a range of people struggling with housing, hunger, or trauma. - The speaker's process with Alex: Connecting by phone, Zooming twice a week, setting goals, ensuring accountability, coming up with ideas for connections, and reading books together. ## References Cited - None explicitly mentioned as external sources other than the concepts/stories relayed. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The speaker should find ways to express kindness and sincerity to make people feel hope when they walk through a door. - We need to listen with our heart and our head and our eyes. - The core message: We use our hearts and our heads. - Final advice: Remember that we use our hearts and our heads. - The goal: Having the Hope for Change AND the courage to make the change in our life is necessary for transformation. ## Implications & Consequences - If people don't feel they are the most important person at that moment, the experience is transactional. - If change wasn't hard, the person would have already done it. - Failing to be vulnerable about one's own learning can inhibit mutual growth with others. - If one only focuses on fixing the problem (trauma) without hope, transformation won't happen. ## Open Questions - How to respond to folks who are living on the street who are homeless and dealing with addiction issues. ## Verbatim Moments - "Thank God it wasn't 60 miles I think we can walk it." - "If her cupboard was half empty with her it was always half full." - "what is the unifying thing that brings you all together as an agency and my answer... is that when somebody enters our doors and then when they walk out again they feel somewhat more hopeful than they did when they entered" - "they know they're not alone that they somebody on their side and there's a pathway forward" - "the key thing you need to do at that moment is to make sure that they feel hope and the best way to do that is to express kindness and sincerity and to ensure that they realize that they are the most important person in your life at that moment" - "we use both our hearts and our heads to innovate Solutions to problems people face" - "the hope the seed of Hope is the beginning of a journey of change for people" - "we need to build courage to encourage comes from an old French word called Anor which actually means building strengths" - "I think I can" (as an alternative to "I can't" or "I don't think I can"). - "let me give you an example of that last year my son I'll call him Alex because that's his name..." - "it was a journey that I didn't realize I was going to be so intimately involved in" - "I'm glad I went through it... I've learned so much about myself and I feel so much more confident about who I am" - "we need to think about where are they at we need to think how are we resp responding to them with a message of Hope and kindness" - "if you are authentic about your limitations if you are authentic about how much you actually care people people will forgive you your failures" - "The Heart Alone won't help the transformation that we're trying to achieve and if you move directly to just fixing the problem we've never dealt with" - "it's through hope and courage we have the Hope for Change but the courage to make the change in our life that's necessary that we can have transformation"