My Ripple Effect | Harriet Dyer | TEDxDurhamUniversity
## Speaker Context - Role/profession: Comedian sharing personal journey. - Audience, setting, occasion of the talk: Unspecified setting, appears to be a talk/interview. - Framing the speaker establishes: Discussing his life journey, linking it to his bipolar diagnosis. ## People - Partner: Partner of the speaker; mentioned in relation to the speaker making him take through imaginary excursions. - Brother: Speaker's brother; five years younger than the speaker. - Neighbor (Gordon): Neighbor; sexually curious; involved the speaker in seeing his sister and his sister's boyfriend. - Mom: Speaker's mother; noticed the speaker's need for companionship and watched the speaker's brother repeatedly throw himself on the floor. - Dad: Speaker's father; was secretly gay. - Joe: Speaker's brother (referred to as Joe); involved in a cycling incident with the speaker. - Counselors: People at the counseling place; noted the speaker picking up a dead rat. ## Organizations - NHS: Mentioned as a group that sometimes messages the speaker regarding ADHD. - Edinburgh Fringe Festival: Venue where the speaker did a show about mental health. - Manchester local barking tales: Venue where the speaker started doing a show. ## Places - Cornwall: Location associated with the speaker's made-up game, "Pasty people." - Farm: Location where the speaker and his parents lived during the Cold War, late 40s. - Terrace houses: Type of housing where the speaker grew up. - Monan: Location visited during the speaker's childhood. ## Tools, Tech & Products - Backpack: Item worn by the speaker during a comedy gig; deodorant exploded in it. - Phone: Device whose battery was dying during a gig. - Honeymoon suite: Type of hotel room upgraded to the speaker. - Medication: Substance for the brain, which the speaker discusses withdrawing from. ## Concepts & Definitions - Bipolar: A condition the speaker has; described as making him "so up and down." - ADHD: A condition mentioned by people contacting the speaker; the speaker thinks he might have it. - Cyst: Used as an analogy for something requiring medical intervention (like a big fat gaping cyst). - Kindred Spirits: Term the speaker used when describing a connection with his brother. ## Numbers & Data - 1996: Year associated with an advert that used to go (waffles fish). - 6 miles: Distance the speaker had to walk after being taken off a train. - Five years: Age difference between the speaker and his brother. - 12: Age of the speaker when he bonded with his brother over a game. - Seven: Age of the speaker's brother when the speaker was 12. - Late 40s: Period during the Cold War when the speaker lived on a farm. - 17: Age of the neighbor (Gordon) when the incident with the wardrobe occurred. - 2015: Year the speaker was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. ## Claims & Theses - The ripple effect is when you've eaten far too much Galaxy. - The speaker was always in black and white and always had a cloud over his head when growing up. - Being gay was illegal in the Cold War backwards of time alone when you're gay living on a farm in the late 40s. - A person must fit into the binary where girls wear pink and boys wear blue, or they are questioned. - The speaker felt a desperate need for companionship, which led him to questionable situations. - Being around people who are never open about their experiences or mental health when younger wasn't spoken about. - Being told that needing medication for the brain means failing as a human is untrue, comparing it to having a big fat gaping cyst. - The speaker's original effect is that he's made things that were the darkest times ever and now "Rippling across it's it's like what I do want to talk about." ## Mechanisms & Processes - Deodorant exploding in a bag: Event leading to the speaker being taken off a train during a comedy gig. - Being taken off the train: Occurred because a lady on the train thought the speaker was acting suspiciously due to the exploding deodorant. - Cycling to clear head: Activity the speaker engaged in when his parents were going through difficult times. - The process of telling about mental health: Described as being cathartic. ## Timeline & Events - When the speaker was growing up: Period when he felt misunderstood and up and down. - When the speaker was doing comedy: Time of the incident involving the exploding deodorant on the train. - Previous Halloween: Occasion when the speaker dressed up as a werewolf. - Early morning, snowing: Time of the counseling session where the speaker found the dead rat. ## Examples & Cases - Galaxy: Mentioned as the reason for the "ripple effect." - Comedy gig in advisors: Event where the deodorant exploded on the train, leading to the speaker being taken off the train. - Fantasy dress party at school: Event where the speaker tried to look "kids sexy" compared to his friends. - Werewolf costume: Specific detail of the speaker's costume at a previous Halloween, involving itchy stick-on hair. - Pasty People game: Game made up by the speaker with his brother, played every Sunday. - Incident in the wardrobe: Specific event where the speaker and the neighbor watched the neighbor's sister and her boyfriend. - Cycling trips: Trips made with his brother when his parents were going through difficulties. - Finding the dead rat: Specific incident during counseling when the speaker picked it up. ## Trade-offs & Alternatives - Being very open about mental health vs. maintaining a facade of normalcy (especially in comedy). - Taking medication for the brain vs. feeling like that implies a failure. - Keeping quiet about difficult experiences vs. speaking out (which proved cathartic). ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The speaker's recollection of his childhood life was colored by trauma (implied context for difficulty with emotional openness). - The speaker's claim about the police/train incident was countered by the fact that the only crime was the deodorant. - The speaker admits that the neighbor's sexual curiosity was something he didn't understand at the time. - The speaker admits that his attempts to leave medication were difficult to manage: "I can't unable it." ## Methodology - Memoir/Storytelling: The core method of recounting his life experiences. - Self-Diagnosis/Reflection: Using past events to illuminate his current understanding of his mental health. ## References Cited - None. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The speaker encourages people to talk about mental health, stating that it opened up the conversation point. - The speaker advises people to "take care of each other all the best." ## Implications & Consequences - If the speaker's narrative is true, then periods of feeling 'wrong' or misunderstood can stem from mental health issues or emotional isolation. - Not opening about mental health leads to being in a "pressure cooker which eventually causes bad decisions and then which lead to even more trauma." ## Open Questions - What exactly is the connection between bipolar disorder and the things happening in his childhood? - How does one optimally navigate being in relationships when discussing difficult history? ## Verbatim Moments - "I was in black and white and and always had a cloud over my head." - "I thought I was trying to blow up the this is a trade when the only crime was all my clothes were covered in whether one could be quite uncommon." - "I'm gonna kill myself. I've had enough." - "Nothing from like a single bed basic room to like a honeymoon suite." - "The object of the game is that I have to move like that and capture the ingredients." - "I don't know where the PTSD and the trauma ends and the bipolar begins really." - "I don't think anything of it." - "impending doom mice you've just gotta weigh it up." - "I think it's now opened up the conversation point because with us too and no well that's good." - "I've made things that were the darkest times ever and I thought I'd never be able to talk about them and now Rippling across it's it's like what I do want to talk about and in talking about it I'm owning it really." - "I will bring it to the good people at the counseling place."