A conversation with my 6 year old self | Sahil Nayar | TEDxNMIMSIndore
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2qIyJN-hF5w Video ID: 2qIyJN-hF5w ============================================================ [Music] now Once Upon a Time Bryant Mill said very very beautifully that curiosity is one of the great secrets of Happiness once upon a time we said that Curiosity was one of the great secrets of happiness ladies and gentlemen those were the days when our houses were open those were the days when people would walk into our house say hello have a cup of tea talk about the weather see the new things that we bought and actually go back span across to today we're living in a world where everything is locked we're living in a world where our phones are locked we're living in a world where our apps are locked we're living in a world where our Gallery our photo gallery is also locked come to think of it where is the Curiosity gone and as I actually sit and ask myself this question I wonder I really wonder where has curiosity gone ask a small 5-year-old child and the child will ask you questions many of which answers we wouldn't really have why is the Sun yellow at times and then turns orange why is the moon white in color why is it that the baby takes 9 months to come out and we may be great Scholars but we find it very very very difficult to explain this to a 5-year-old child those questions are innocent yet those questions are very pertinent fast forward to what I called as grownup children many of us adults we get into the corporate world and we continue to ask questions but these questions ladies and gentlemen are slightly difficult questions at times in meetings we ask questions to digress at times in meetings we ask questions to sound intelligent at times in meetings we ask questions just to show that we want to take a break right now and let's disperse come to think of it in all of this where is the child lost in each one of us if this wasn't enough each one of us as children were given a wonderful drawing book and a lot of crayons and if you all recall what we were told is use these crayons look at the amazing drawing book and ensure that your drawing is colored inside the lines your coloring should not go outside the line and just as we become grownup children adults we are actually hired or celebrated for thinking outside the box isn't it paradoxical isn't it paradoxical if that wasn't enough come to think of it whether it's a 5-year-old child or a 50-year-old grownup child anyone solving the Rubik's Cube in less than 60 seconds is a great equalizer and that brings me to my third point of reflection we spoke about irony we spoke about paradoxes and we are now talking about reflection I have the absolute pleasure of taking you back three decades when I was a six-year-old child I invite each one of you to go back and have a conversation with your six-year-old self it may be a couple of decades for some of you it may be seven or eight decades for some of you in the audience but I urge you to go back and have a conversation with your six-year-old self just the way I'm going to be sharing my story with you your story may be different but I'm sure each one of you have a memory as well the very very first day of school I had my mother come across and drop me to school it carried on for weeks and even for a month a month later I found it slightly easier to let go of my mother as compared to the first day when I cried profusely when she asked actually went back didn't really go back home but just waited outside the class for my class to get over and then take me back home my friends you'll realize under peer pressure a lot of things happen to us subconsciously that we don't even realize I became the object of ridicule my classmates started dragging me to say you're a Mommy's boy your mother still comes to school to drop you who does that anymore one fine day when I went back home I cried and cried and cried and the only thing that my mother had to offer me was to console me and say what is bothering you so much almost as if she knew the answer I looked at her in the eye and I said Mama tomorrow please don't come to school to drop me please don't come to school to drop me this pause was reflective of the tear that rolled down her eye she exactly knew where I was coming from weeks passed by I moved one standard to the next standard to the to the next standard and one fine day an elution competition came up I'm almost getting goosebumbs right now because the auditorium in our school felt almost similar wonderful lights with me on Spotlight and I was coming up on stage to deliver my peace as I was coming on stage to deliver my peace I started getting cold sweats almost as if I had forgotten my script I was so tempted to put the hand in my pocket and remove that piece of paper and refer to it but I promised myself I wouldn't do that I took a pause I was told that pauses are very effective I tried to gain composure I tried my level best to remember just the first line because I knew if I had taken off on the runway I would hit 36,000 ft and cruise beautifully but ladies and gentlemen I wasn't able to the pause became longer the audience started losing patience no surprises for guessing there was a huge laughter in the auditorium that laugh laughter even today scares the Daylights out of me that laughter even today drives chills up my spine when I get on stage I put my head down as if I had almost committed a crime and was sentenced guilty I put my head down and I walked down those steps every single moment of that day has been edged in my memory as a very very bad feeling fast forward I became one of the most reclus persons ever shy introverted you name it and I wouldn't talk to anybody almost as if I had got into my shell I asked myself playing the victim's card who fall what was it I never got any answers moved on to college and I met a very very interesting person someone who almost didn't know me I was just one of the 10,000 students in that college but that individual walked up to me and took a bet on me she came up as the principle and said sahil one of my teachers is going on a maternity break and would you come and teach the class I didn't know where to look it almost felt like the heavens was showering Their Blessings on me it was a great opportunity to go out there and prove to the world that I'm not yet done I seized that opportunity I didn't want to let that person down and while I was doing my graduation I started teaching Junior College and like they say after that everything was history one of the most important points that I haven't shared with you which I want to at this point in time is the fact that those six seven years of going on stage for the first time to getting into a class with 200 students I built I acquired something that I'm not very proud of but extremely proud of that today I don't have it with me anymore I've sacrificed my stammer I have sacrificed and given away what wasn't mine what I wasn't born with but what I acquired Bas is the ridicule that I faced stammering for me is now history but yes the journey continues breakdowns happen every single day I actually thought that when my mother was consoling me she was putting a bandage on me but what I needed at that point of time was surgery what I needed at that point in time was surgery she gave me a fantastic bandage she changed the bandage every day to say sahil don't worry this happens don't worry it's okay be yourself she tried her best I wouldn't blame her for that she tried her best but what I needed was surgery because I had broken down I had completely broken down today as I stand before you at my first tedex talk I think this for me is a breakthrough the reason why I call it a breakthrough is because it is extremely liberating having done hundreds of talks having done multiple sessions with students with corporates being from the learning fraternity it has to come naturally to interact with people but today is a very special day it's a very special day because I'm present before all of you as I really tell you very very simple mantras of how you can have a conversation with your six-year-old self most of the things that shape us for who we are today can be very well traced back to our childhood I invite each one of you to go back to your childhood and reflect on all the breakdowns that you've had and slowly and steadily you will realize that you will be a very very different person as you do those small minor surgeries and actually cure yourself of the bacteria that's engulfing you we're living in a world where we want to be great to people we want to help people but the fundamental question that I always ask myself as I found my purpose in my life was I want to really educate people I want to share my knowledge with people I want our country to be an educated country and therefore every weekend I try my best to be at some school or the other sharing my learnings but in the process I realized I cannot fill someone else's glass unless my own glasses full I realized that I will only offer what I have to give and therefore every single day for me has been a journey to fill my own glass because if I can fill my own glass I'll be able to fill someone else's this was a rudimentary thought a couple of years back I also realized that filling the glass is as important as the quality of liquid that I put in the class if I carry the baggage of the past all that I will have to offer is stories of breakdown playing the victim card trying to show how famous I am but the reality is you make breakthroughs when you feel liberated you feel liberated when you're in touch with yourself you get in touch with yourself only and only when you drop the mask and dropping the mask mask is an everyday Affair it is not a one-time process it's an everyday Affair so the moment you drop the mask is the time when you can make a difference very beautifully said resilience is about how you recharge not how you endure many of times we play Hero by enduring but we are born as a species that un unfortunately doesn't have a user manual unlike a fridge or a TV that you buy you'll have a lovely user manual that tells you what to do what not to do but as human beings we learn from experiences what better than to learn from the experiences of those around you rather than make the same mistakes you see someone's glass is not full go and check is your class full enough and make that difference towards the end I would just like to invite you encourage you motivate you and impress upon you that there is nothing that is impossible for every breakdown there is an even bigger breakthrough and this is just a representation of interacting with thousands of students and making a difference ladies and gentlemen if I can so can you thank you very much