How curiosity can lead to self-discovery | Jamie Haith | TEDxTAMU
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xDe8oVUuW8 Video ID: 4xDe8oVUuW8 ============================================================ have you ever wondered how the bond of an a thousand pound horse and its Rider is formed studies suggest that horses can synchronize their heartbeats with that of their riders that would explain why horses and humans can have such close bonds I don't know what it is but ever since I was a kid I've had a love for horses growing up everybody would say oh it's in your blood like it was put in your DNA the older I got the more obsessed I got the more I followed my curiosity the more horses R from a hobby to a way of life there's this one time my friend and I just finished up a writing lesson together right we wanted to cool down our ponies so we figured we'd take them on a nice quiet trail ride through the trees one thing led to another and we were running through the trees laughing hysterically I don't remember what we were laughing about but I'm sure you can all relate you know when you laugh so hard you lose control of your body your abs hurt your limbs are like they're not attached they don't work and you can't breathe okay imagine that on top of a pony running through the trees yeah complete chaos okay complete chaos as we fumbled to a stop she fell right off her Pony and when she stood up we realized that not only did she fall off but she had wet her pants all the way through to her saddle I don't know about you but a good pant wetting story always leaves a memory I'll never forget that that moment horses will always have a special spot in my life but little did I know six years later that hor loving girl would be faced with one of the most challenging days of her life I was 19 years old I had been with my boyfriend for about two months I'd known him for years so he wasn't any stranger but as you all can maybe relate a relationship when you're 19 there's so many ups and downs it's hard growing into communicating and managing all of those emotions I had also just recently been kicked out of my mom's house when I wasn't home she took all of my stuff and put it at the end of the driveway uh that was a clear indication I was no longer welcome where do I go now I ended up moving in with my boyfriend's family we lived in the basement it was close quarters but honestly it didn't matter it was a place to lay my head at night I'd never not had a home to go home to and on top of all of the chaos and all of the stress of life I was an addict I was addicted to pharmaceutical drugs and alcohol throughout my childhood I had suffered several different kinds of Trauma from family addiction and abuse to sexual assault I learned at a very young age when we mask our emotions with drugs and alcohol you don't have to feel them problem solved one morning I woke up I didn't feel right I was nauseous I felt super sick and then I realized for the last week I had not been feeling right I laid there in bed and started to kind of process and just like that a ton of bricks to the middle of my chest me me not me are you kidding me no absolutely not couldn't be me no I decided to get in the car and go to Walgreens anyways I walked in and some of you might have guessed it I walked right to the women hygiene aisle that minute that pregnancy box hit my hands pure panic set in where do I go I can't take this back to his house everyone would notice I awkwardly walked up to the checkout and paid for the test as I walked to the door I really didn't know what I was going to do but before I walked out I glanced over my shoulder at the cashier she had just looked away here's my chance I bolted to the women's bathroom of Walgreens those three minutes waiting for those test results were the longest three minutes of my life I was 19 19 years old sitting in a Walgreens bathroom taking a pregnancy test I pick up the test pregnant again 19 basically homeless right been kicked out of my childhood home relationship wasn't pretty by any means I was an addict huge problem and now pregnant the walls were caving in on me the breath felt like it was just leaving my lungs I allowed myself to ask a question what now seems pretty simple right except in this situation it was pretty loaded I took a moment and I found myself answering with Just Breathe okay breathing for some of us that's a normal task in this instant I needed to tell myself to breathe I allowed myself to ask another question where do I go now what do I do still breathing the car I can make it to the car as I ask myself questions I really tried to keep an open mind this was Uncharted Territory I had never experienced this before and as I allowed myself more grace I was starting to feel a little bit more comfortable with the idea of being a mom asking those simple questions one step at a time is what allowed me to process one of the hardest days of my life when we follow curiosity we discover authenticity when we ask oursel questions and we lean into Grace we remove the constraints of the desired outcome this allows us to explore perceptions more freely have you ever heard of the phrase curiosity killed the cat it's often times a phrase that is used to steer us away from Curiosity to make us afraid of it right you'll hear it when people ask too many questions or they're being nosy okay well prime example of society closing our minds and asking us politely to color inside the lines of life now Mariam Webster States the definition of curiosity is the desire to know Mariam Webster also states that the definition of authenticity is being true to one's personality but do you know who their enemy is do you know what holds you back from stepping outside your comfort zone that makes you scared to be different afraid to be weird judgment judgment is curiosity and authenticities enemy and through society and stigma judgment is born now there was a friend of mine that actually is also a client of mine so it's a blended relationship she gave me a call one day and she had just had some adversity hit her desk that she had never experienced before and she was seeking some help on how to process it she was let go from her corporate job her feelings were hurt and she had a bruised ego I encouraged her to explore this situation with curiosity and Grace as we continued to ask questions I noticed her energy change for the better she was excited she was happy and by the end of the call she was excited happy calm cool collected not only that we had to developed an amazing plan for her to step into the marketing space and open up her own marketing firm what was once terrifying for her was now empowering when we follow curiosity we discover authenticity when we ask ourselves questions and open our mind with Grace and we remove judgment we discover who we truly are me to be we create that safe space to process trauma emotions feelings or whatever you bring to it as a recovering addict with five years of sobriety I am confident in the fact that using curiosity and Grace can change the world one life at a time all right I got a favor to ask ready everybody take out your phone yeah it's 2024 you all got your phones they're like they're like adult pacifiers at this point okay perfect all right open up a text message and we are sending it to ourselves type in your number as the recipient today we're going to use curiosity and Grace to define a few things so the first one we're going to Define is dream put down dream with a dash next to it we're going to Define this by asking ourselves this question what is the number one thing you have always wanted to accomplish in your life that childhood goal maybe that adulthood goal maybe it's a random thing but it's something that lights your heart on fire it's a desire it's something that maybe you came up with when you were four or maybe you came up when you were 24 but it's something you want to accomplish before you leave this earth mine I had a random one I was wanted to compete in a bodybuilding competition all right number two we're going to Define eliminate so eliminate Dash we're going to Define it by asking ourselves this question and I want you to put down the first thing that comes to mind what is holding you back from that dream and the first thing that comes to mind might be a gut feeling might be a random thought but put it down because that's important don't overthink it all right and the third is Embrace we're going to define embrace now we're going to Define this a little bit different than the other two we're going to Define it as if your back is up against a wall and your life depends on it your back is up against the wall your life depends on it what is the first step you're going to do to accomplish this dream and when you're finished with that hit send do you remember when I said your life depends on it that's because it does your true authentic life depends on you showing up for the job now you just took the first step to being curious by sending that text message you made a commitment to yourself today congratulations if I wouldn't have made that same commitment to myself 12 years ago I wouldn't be the mother I am today if you wouldn't have made the commitment to be curious you wouldn't be showing up here today now although Society has taught us curiosity kills the cat what they don't tell us is satisfaction brought it back now I want you all to remember one thing friends when you follow curiosity you'll discover authenticity thank you