Transcript

Getting it right; why pronouncing names correctly matters | Gerardo Ochoa | TEDxMcMinnville

I'd like to start by having us go back in time a little bit let's go back to when we were all in fifth grade think of your fifth grade teacher and think of that fifth grade classroom we are all with you in that fifth grade classroom I was just 9 years old at the time when I was in fifth grade and my family had just immigrated from Mexico to a small town east of Portland Oregon and making that change was not easy in fact it was difficult people ate different foods people wore different clothes people spoke a different language and I quickly realized that when you yourself are different it's very easy for everyone around you who tell you who you should be and that's when my name was changed I remember precisely it was during that Fifth Grade Road call the teacher started with John and John answered in his squeaky nine-year-old voice here and then she went on the list Kimberly similarly she said here and then she got to Sarah and Sarah said here and halfway down the list she got to my name and she said H her J jar Jerry she settled on Jerry how do you go from hero to Jerry and just like that without realizing it she not only changed my name but the rest of my life I was just 9 years old at the time I was still learning to speak English my parents had taught me to respect my teachers respect my parents respect my elders so I didn't question it you see what I wanted to do was fit in but fitting in came with a price my name was first changed in the classroom and then it was changed in the entire school and then in the entire community and before long few people actually knew my real name it had become an out of control wildfire that had spread too far and I needed to rate it in I accepted my new name But as time passed I knew it was not not me I felt ashamed I felt dirty I felt like a fraud but now I realized that I was just nine years old I was still learning English I was literally powerless in this classroom but it was everywhere literally it was in the school yearbook my school ID the local newspaper they even misspelled my fake name now don't get me wrong the name Jerry I actually like the only problem I have is that it was not my name but I needed a fresh start it had become a bad dream that just wouldn't end and I needed to wake up and reclaim my name you and I know that that names are important and it matters that we pronounce people's names correctly as our communities become more Diversified and globalized the likelihood that we will meet someone whose name we can't pronounce is going to increase but what can we do to ensure that people feel valued honored and respected with something so simple yet often so difficult as pronouncing someone's name I spend a lot of time thinking about this I've researched it I've reflected on it and I've come to realize that I've now experience thousands of different variations of my name I've met students teachers employers strangers who become friends strangers Who Remain strangers and there's a lot a lot that I've learned over the years my educator and podcaster Jennifer Gonzalez does a fantastic job of taking those thousands and narrowing it down into three categories that I'd like to go over with you today they are the fumble mumbler The Arrogant Mangler and the calibrator you've likely met them all and I'd be willing to bet that you are one of them let's talk first about the fumble mumbler when I meet the fumble mumbler and I introduce myself as Gerardo they'll get nervous they'll attempt to say my name and they may struggle a little bit they'll giggle nervously and they'll usually settle on some kind of a close approximation usually something like oh it's Gerardo close but not quiet I really don't mind the fumble mumblers because I know they're trying and they realize that the problem is their mispronunciation and not my name but let's talk about the Arrogant manglers when I meet the Arrogant manglers I'll know right away what kind of relationship we're going to have and it's usually not a good one I'll introduce myself as Heraldo and the Arrogant Mangler will respond Heraldo great to meet you blah blah blah blah blah and they'll go on completely oblivious to the fact that they just mispronounced my name and more often than not they'll continue with their own version of my name even after I already corrected them in all honesty I have very little patience for The Arrogant Mangler because to me it shows great disrespect they either have a blind spot or they simply don't care to try some would even argue that the Arrogant Mangler is engaging in a microaggression a small Act of aggression based on someone's identity in this case my name and when those microaggressions happen repeatedly over and over and over they add up and at the end of the day it really really really hurts but then there's the calibrators these are my favorite group of people the calibrator will listen to my name they'll slow down they'll read my lips they'll attempt to say it they may get it wrong but they'll try again and they try and try until they finally get it sometimes they even come back the next day to ensure they still got it friends if you forget everything about my talk today remember this in life always be a calibrator but I'd like to add one more to the list the evader these are the people who who would rather call me something different then actually call me by my name or look silly trying you'll recognize them because they'll sound something like hi do you have a nickname or they'll say something like oh God why even try I'll never be able to pronounce that and it's that that makes me feel like another like I don't belong or they'll say something like can I just call you g or in the case of my fifth grade teacher Jerry so why is pronouncing someone's name so important beyond the fact that it's the right thing to do to ensure people feel valued honored and respected mispronouncing someone's name leads to invisibility and it can also have financial implications you've likely heard the case of Carin Fara former Chancellor of New York City Schools who was marked absent for six weeks when she was in kindergarten because she never heard her name called her name was being called but it was being anglicized and mispronounced she argues that mispronouncing someone's name leads to invisibility and we know that when a student feels invisible in the classroom they're less likely to have academic success at every level of Education in every work environment in every community in every neighborhood it continues to be important to pronounce people's names correctly every single time take uh Stephen Curry for example in 2013 he switched sneaker companies from Nike to Under Armour now why would a championship athlete want to leave Nike everybody wants to be Nike I want to be Nike I'm not even an athlete according to an ESPN article quoting his father during the pitch a Nike official referred to Stefan as Stefon a mistake that cost Nike a lot of money in fact it earned Under Armour 14 billion dollar billion with a B big mistake now every time I share my story I'm comforted by the fact that I'm not alone but I'm also disturbed by the fact that most people who connect with it are immigrants and people of color and I continue to ask myself why recently Nancy my wife shared her thoughts with me in a way that made a lot of sense she said it's kind of like driving when people have been privileged their entire life to drive an automatic when they meet you for the first time you are asking them to learn how to drive a stick shift quickly on the spot some people can do it others are willing to try and some simply refuse but try and try we must I leave you with three simple tips that have helped me when I can't pronounce someone's name and have also helped me to feel valued honored and respected for who I am number one humble yourself the first step to pronouncing someone's name is to acknowledge in your own mind that you can't pronounce it it's okay that the other person sees you struggling it's okay that you ask for help more often than not they're willing to help you when I see someone struggling to say my name and they finally achieve success their success is My Success we both win number two get in my business when you see somebody mispronouncing another person's name be an active by Stander be proactive take initiative to correct them teach them this has only happened one time in my entire life and I'll never forget it this one time a friend who was correcting somebody else to say my name it took the burden off of me and I really appreciated them for it deep down it made my heart smile number three do something but whatever you do don't be arrogant you may be the first person whoever takes time to pronounce someone's name correctly and it's important that you try and whatever you do do not try to change someone else's names that is a personal decision that should be left up to each individual given that we're on a college campus I we I would be remiss if I didn't share that my favorite time time of the year is commencement the reading of the names I'm fortunate to work with colleagues who practice and take great care to ensure that students names are pronounced correctly and it's not lost on me that people spend a lot of time and sacrifice a lot particularly immigrants who leave entire lives behind to witness this moment and when that student goes on stage and gets ready to receive that diploma which Sac which symbolizes sacrifices hard work and sleepless nights they should be able to hear their name pronounced correctly but let's face it not all of us can pronounce everyone's names we're going to make mistakes we're not perfect in my opinion from personal experience it's not the mistake that matters it's what we do after we make the mistake that's really important it either makes us feel like we belong or like we're the other friends my my name is not haraldo my name is not Jerry my name is not Gerald my is hero [Applause]