Transcript

The Importance of Raising a Hand | Jo Wimble-Groves | TEDxSuttonHighSchoolGDST

foreign [Music] why do we not always raise our hand are we afraid to say something different do we fear we may be judged no one raises their hand is it a human instinct to follow a crowd the image you see here is me as four years old it was my very first day at school with my trusty red briefcase it's quite confident cheeky and I was excited I was excited about my future and I was excited about the people that I might meet along the way the other image is a slightly older Joe picking up my very first Global award for the telecoms company that I own and this was an awards ceremony in Las Vegas so how does that four-year-old Joe turn into someone who goes on to win global awards run her own business and become an international author did I need to Ace all my grades not necessarily in fact I left school at 16. I raised my hand and I took an opportunity to go into business with my brother and at 16 years old I wasn't afraid of failure when I came into the telecoms industry I knew nothing about the tech sector but that was great because it meant that I had everything to learn but being a young teenager starting out in business something I noticed at first is that I had been copying and mirroring quite a lot of people that were around me and I think we do that unintentionally it was a little while later that I realized I needed to stop being like someone else I needed to try and focus on being more like me to do that I needed to focus on my strengths and when we internalize our strengths it's not always as easy as it sounds if I asked you to consider three personality strengths of your own how easy would you find that task if I ask you to write them down how quickly could you do that however if I ask you to write down three personality strengths about a friend that you know you could do them in a heartbeat once I focused on my strengths I was able to become more like Joe and able to further my success more than I could have ever imagined sometimes we find ourselves focusing on the things that we're not good at we do this unintentionally but what we need to do is we need to focus on the inner champion and we need to silence the inner critic what are you great at when I consider raising a hand whether it's in a classroom whether it's in a meeting you always get the people that raise their hand all the time you also get those that never raise their hand at all when I was 13 years old I remember being in a maths class and my teacher had said to me she thought it would be a good idea to move me from the bottom set of mouths to the top this was not a good idea the people around me were shooting their hand in the air they seem to have all the answers I sat there feeling lost damaged my confidence I felt out of my depth however I did something at the end of the lesson and I actually raised my hand for a different reason not to answer a question but I asked to be put down to the bottom set and I'm really proud of that 13 year old Joe so I ask is it better to be bottom of the top or top of the bottom when I consider raising a hand in a business environment it's interesting if you go to a meeting or a conference people put their hand up and then this happens they say the exact same thing that you were thinking and you think to yourself I wish I'd put my hand up I'll I'll put my hand up next time next time I asked my daughter who's 13 years old what it takes for her to raise her hand she told me that she would only raise her hand if she was a hundred percent confident of the answer 100 percent sets the bar so high I asked her if she would consider raising her hand if she was 75 sure of the answer she said she would not so is striving for perfect Perfection damaging our girl's progress and the reason why this is important to me is that when I go into businesses and see women looking for progression where are the women in Tech where are the women sitting at the boardroom table where are the women working in my industry because only 19 of women in the tech sector in the UK are female I wanted to tell you a story about when I went to Downing Street 2019 I was invited to one of a hundred women to go to Downing Street to have tea with the prime minister I had received an invitation by email now being a woman in Tech I was a little dubious do Downing Street send invitations by email how would I know I've never had one before although I was skeptical why would I be invited why would I be invited I accepted the invitation I went to London that day and I thought I'll just dress a little bit smarter than usual just in case the invitation happens to be true but self-doubt was still there and although I am confident and still a little bit cheeky like the four-year-old I showed you why me why had you been invited to Downing Street is what I told myself as I moved over to Downing Street and I approached the big black Gates I noticed a flurry of women had also arrived also holding their printed email invitation I must be in the right place I was one of a hundred women invited for tea that day with the Prime Minister and as I went in the black door and enjoyed my day I was actually one of the first women to shake hands with the Prime Minister it was a wonderful moment a very special occasion and as I left Downing Street and the back black door closed behind me I noticed there was women talking around me and they were saying what a fantastic day it had been this was a momentous occasion to the point where they had come up with their family would come up with their parents they had lunch in a fancy restaurant because it was a special looking I on the other hand hadn't really told anybody I was going to Downing Street in fear that the invitation wasn't true and then I might make a fool of myself and all I did with wander off on my own and got myself a sandwich I don't know why I did that that day and perhaps I'd like to do things differently but reflecting on who I am the self-doubt is still there despite the confidence despite the awards self-doubt Creeps in I hope I might get another invitation one day and maybe I'll do it differently what was quite interesting about my trip to 10 Downing Street was in a few days sort of leading up to the event a couple of people had said to me why have you been invited now I know they don't mean that unkindly why have you been invited and I thought about that for a while I pondered on it and I wanted to turn that conversation around the internal conversation I had with myself why not me why not me as a mum of three I know I have an important responsibility to take my children through life's challenges and when we look at successful people and the successes around us we don't always see the Journey of how we got there I ask you now how often have you told your children or people that you know about a success story something that's really fantastic that's happened to you and how you got there we know the journey isn't linear we all have hurdles and bumps that we have to overcome and sharing those is an important part of how we can all grow together I've been reading about some research from someone called Dr Peter Benson he is a scientist and a researcher and he has one central idea is that everybody has a spark it could be something that leads towards your identity or a purpose but something inside of you that fuels Who You Are and I love this I love this expression he says that we are fires waiting to be lit isn't that a wonderful expression to think that we can light ourselves up from the inside out not the outside in when it comes to putting your hand up takes courage it takes bravery it takes confidence it doesn't always have to be a physical hand it can be a virtual one but the message is about taking opportunities that present themselves and not letting them pass by not waiting for a hundred percent not waiting for perfection but giving yourself a chance to see where it goes so what have I learned along the way well I've learned that putting your hand up isn't necessarily about answering a question it's about helping the person next to you to raise their hand to I also know that when I think about where we might find our next wave of entrepreneurs teachers authors creatives artists I smile because I know that we'll find them in every classroom you don't always need to know where you're going you don't always need to know what's ahead but we have to start somewhere and everything starts when we raise our hand thank you for having me [Applause] [Music]