Navigating Through Pain to Find Meaning and Purpose | Dan Burchfield | TEDxWestmoor High School
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6durWpC4AHg Video ID: 6durWpC4AHg ============================================================ [Music] [Applause] on January 31st 1996 my life changed Forever on this day I lost my son Joel Daniel BFI after my son's uh death I was angry I was bitter and I was broken I had a gaping hole in my heart and I was just navigating in the fog a few months go by in this little leag season my son and I share some of our Fondest Memories on the little leag field that year our little league dedicated the season to my son Joel all the players wore his initials on their hats some more patches armbands and His Banner was on display the Outfield fence now after a lot of coaxing from my wife I decided to coach Joel's team that year without Joel We had a remarkable season we went to the championship game and we lost in Extra Innings but afterwards I had a front row seat to witness our Allstar team perform Miracles before my eyes I couldn't believe it our little league team went all the way to Williamsport and played in the Little League World Series these young men carried my son's Banner displayed it in their Dugout throughout the tournament before each game they would Place their hand on that Banner say a prayer and then run out to their positions watching these young men play their hearts out for my son in our city forced me to wake up and look inside my heart after the World Series I went home the team and their families in my family we paid a visit to my son's grave site some of the guys brought back dirt from the Williamsport infield and they sprinkled it on my son's grave then we all held hands we shared stories and we cried and I looked around at these young men and I looked at my wife and then my younger son and I thought I I started to feel grateful and then I looked up to the sky and I could have sworn I heard my son Joel say Dad now it's time for you to do more with your life it was time to get off the bench and get in the game of life but I needed to find my purpose well returning home from the ly War series my family worked hard to get a bridge built over the aroyo you see the aoo were the waters that took my son's life he was walking home from school and he drowned trying to cross that a royal which runs through the center of our town I didn't want this to happen to anybody else's child so I made it my mission in life to get this bridge built so I would attend every city council meeting and speak along with other community members and it was a sight to see our community coming together fighting for that bridge not giving up running hundreds of letters to get this thing done what well not letting up and becoming a beacon of life for our youth it happened and that bridge was finally built and now it stands proud for all the children who will walk that way now all these events were happening before my eyes for a reason I I I knew these they were pointing me in another Direction I had to change course in my life I was starting to feel again it was like putting a Band-Aid on my heart but I needed to find my greater purpose and then it appeared it was at a candl lighting ceremony at a Year's celebration of my son's death I was the first to light the candle I walked down the aisle of the church I walked outside I walk you know walked around the corner and I was just standing there thinking and then I turned around to witness 30 young lives seeking guidance from me with light lit candles and I knew right then and there I had to make an impact on their lives it was a vision for me so I was going to go back to school and become a teacher and a baseball coach so for the last two for the next two years I would enroll in teacher credential courses at the local University at the rip old age of 42 I haven't been out of school for like 18 years I worked hard I persevered and I got the job done except for one last test it was a subject matter essay test for social studies first time I took this test I missed it by Five Points the second time I took this test I miss it by seven points I was now starting to doubt myself in my journey well on the third attempt to take the test I visited my son's grave before I went and took the test we had a heart-to-heart talk I drove took the test afterwards I felt pretty good of course I felt pretty good the first two times I took the test well usually 3 weeks go by and you get the letter whether you pass or not in the mail well 3 weeks go by and nothing's in the mailbox so every day I would go out to find out for the letter the mailman and I were becoming pretty good friends on a first name basis by now and after about a month and a couple days I got the letter grabbed that letter got in my car I drove to Joel's Bridge got out of the car I walked to the bridge and I was just standing there staring at this letter I slowly opened it up and I just focused in on you past holding back my tears I noticed a young boy riding a bike over Joel's bridge and I knew right then and there this was going to be my destiny I got my first teaching job at a middle school and uh first couple months went a little Rocky and but things moved out think times went on I would later transfer over to the high school I have taught for 22 years I taught because I wanted to make a difference in students lives looking back in my teaching career I the students being involved with my students lives and my baseball players lives helped me heal and I look at it as another Band-Aid was put on my heart and that fog is beginning to clear in 1999 we started the Joel burville memorial fund I was determined to give my son's life more meaning than the 4,318 days he was on this Earth I wanted to make a difference in our students Futures we would give out scholarships to graduating seniors at the high school however in 2014 we were running out of money and I thought it was going to come to an end well after much thought I came up with an idea I like to walk I was going to walk 105 miles down the California coast all right I know what you're thinking how can this old man walk 105 miles that's okay it was tough believe me but with my son's inspiration he helped me grind out each and every step so throughout the many blisters on my feet the sunburn in the backpack rashes I just kept walking I've done these walks for 10 years now and I would call these walks my Joel burfield Spirit walks now when I did these walks a lot of newspapers will write articles including the LA Times about my walks people read these articles and donated to the fund throughout the years now we've given out over $107,000 to graduating seniors it here again it made it helped my son's Spirit stay alive and helped the students in 2019 I wrote a book called my journey with Joel it was a heartbreaking soul-searching but I look at it as inspiring Memoir it took me 10 years to write this book but a voice inside me kept saying you have to share the story you must write down the words now writing this book I wanted to give my son's life more purpose and meaning but in doing so I gave my own life purpose and meaning I have recently retired from teaching and I ran for school board in our community and I won so now I'm an elected School Board member giving back still making a difference now let me ask a question here today how many of you believe that just one person can make a positive impact and change our world I like it I like it everyone's journey is unique in life my intent in sharing my story with you is to give you a real life example of what we can overcome and accomplish in life with my son's inspiration I went after life I fought for a bridge I refused to quit on my dream of teaching and I didn't walk those 105 miles because it was easy I walked those Miles because my son's Spirit was with me telling me my story wasn't over and neither's any of yours so here's the deal I believe one person could make a positive impact and change our world and you don't need a tragedy in your life to make that work appreciate the little things turn your setbacks into step forwards and whatever you go through in life and you'll go through a lot the pain the loss and the struggles you will navigate through that and then you will find your greater purpose and once you find that purpose then you can start influencing lives as far as I can forever so here's the question here tonight when are we get in the game of Life the Game of Life as two participants we have our Spectators and our players and we're going to need to pick one all right ladies and gentlemen you're going to have to pick one let's go game on thank you