The Box of Labels | Mirakal Jackson | TEDxValdostaState
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDMNVARmNyA Video ID: BDMNVARmNyA ============================================================ hello everyone my name is miracle jackson and today i just want to share my story with you my story about overcoming every challenge presented to me and i first do this by asking myself who says i can't all my life people have tried to put me in a box so i literally had to give a demonstration that your expectations of who i should be won't define me instead i will continue to challenge the style of norms while addressing sensitive topics truth is everyone has their own life path but regardless of what yours is you have one brain one heart and one life what are you going to do with them when i was thinking of what i wanted to say to you all today so many topics crossed my mind i've learned so much and i want to share it all but today i'm only going to share how looking at my life in retrospect has helped me change for the better looking at my life in retrospect it doesn't mean meddling in the past it means dealing with it and learning from it i started with writing a timeline that broke down what i was doing in each year of my life to help me understand my life more clearly today i'm going to share parts of my timeline to help you understand how i became the woman i am today so buffalo we're going on a timeline roller coaster i won't turn your brain is always eavesdropping and will recall things from your subconscious you didn't even know was there so as i reflected on my life i recalled some of my earliest memories through music aromatherapy and conversations in short i loved education i loved helping others and i learned to adapt to change early art puzzles and music were how i coped with toxic environments toxic situations and toxic relationships we all need healthy coping strategies what are yours i knew no matter what i was going through i could feel seen through school by fifth grade i excelled in the robotics program chorus the chess club the book club and the gifted program by eighth grade i excelled in the honors program the band and my candy business and by 12th grade i excelled in leadership public speaking community service and humbly earned top performer awards i even became group commander of the air force jrotc program student body co-president a varsity track and field athlete and i earned my international baccalaureate diploma by the age of 17 i became a confident charismatic and courageous leader that consistently reflected on how to be better by learning from my mistakes the first time around i learned early that growth is a state of mind and love is a state apart transformation cannot occur without reflection your brain intention your heart and commitment your life i remember this brain project i did in high school we had to make an edible version of the brain showing the five lobes and stem i made it my duty to understand why my teacher always said everything requires psychology i knew the brain had two hemispheres that controlled how we think what we do and what we feel the left hemisphere controls writing and logic while the right hemisphere controls our emotions and creativity and each side controls the opposite side of the body through over 200 million nerve fibers called the corpus callosum and by 11th grade i thought i had the brain figured out until i got my first c hey i was heartbroken i thought i was a failure because all my life i only earned a's and b's and so i went to my psychology teacher to complain and she said miracle it's not about the grade it's about your voice it's not about what you think people want to hear it's about what you have to say so during my reflection i had to forget who i thought i was and what i thought i knew only then could i be free to be who i am and speak for my heart i thought to myself are my thoughts mine or everyone else's thoughts for me and what they desire in my life this pushed me to look at my heart we tend to forget that trauma comes in many forms and when unaddressed its effects will control your mind until you deal with it in your heart i remember this heart project i did in college the challenge was to follow my heart and be who i wanted to be regardless of anyone who disagreed and i learned the heart has two sides just like the brain and when your heart has broken whether it be from exclusion breakups or rejection it takes time to heal just like a physical wound because your brain processes heartbreak as physical pain i learned what you believe in your heart is who you are as a person i remember my teacher saying may your art serve as your voice to spark change but first you have to own what you believe in your heart this inspired me to start my own business walking in miracles art company behind me you see my logo created from the strong belief that art is my heartbeat that helps me consistently reflect on my life in retrospect so of course i majored in art and minored in psychology entrepreneurship and aerospace studies aerospace studies means military leadership and since high school everyone wanted me to become an air force officer but my heart wouldn't let me live someone else's dream for my life i learned early if you live your life for others you'll never live a day in your life so i decided to live my life as a catalyst someone who ignites change and sparks conversations and it's funny because last year i found this poem i wrote in fifth grade called operation change i found it in my mom's archives it was a spiritual poem that always reminded me that i am enough and worthy of love and joy i totally forgot about this poem when i ran for homecoming queen in college crazy enough my platform was hashtag change i believed community honesty acknowledgement narrative grit and equality were the key factors to igniting true change i believed what you believe in your heart is who you are as a person and you don't have to change who you are to change how you treat people and so hashtag change became the foundation of my research it inspired me to dive deeper into the topics that intrigued me i thought to myself what is change and how can i ignite it my philosophy inspired me to dive deeper into the topics that would help me understand my life and how to overcome any challenge that's all it takes right and so after earning my master's degree i went for my doctorate degree because who says i can't and the doctoral program helps me conceptualize identity power and love i analyze the cyclical and societal issues we see today whether they be intentional miseducation ridiculous beauty standards reinforcing stereotypes displaying sexism or teaching gender roles i believe we cannot become our true selves or find our purpose until we look at the relationship of identity power and love and each of our lives so let's make sense of hashtag change pun intended generally in order to spark change most people start with getting the community together having honest conversations and acknowledging where growth is needed it's helpful when people share their narrative and experiences to offer different perspectives then the group displays grit and their efforts towards the change and in the end people want to be viewed as equal and worthy of the change but in order to change our realities sometimes we have to look at the personal change needed in ourselves right so to do this i thought yes community is important for general change but for personal change confidence is key i've shared the impact of teachers in my life so i gave teaching a try and i remember my students always asking me how did you become so confident and i said because i knew that's what it took to change my circumstances you have to believe you're enough and worthy of love and joy no matter what you have to be confident in your identity and your beliefs and how to deal with the microaggressions and stereotypes that unfortunately come with them when you allow others to shame you for being who you are or what you want to do with your life you give them power one of the first ways i started becoming more confident was by correcting loved ones and others when they called my partner my friend i saw that as a sign they were belittling my relationship and love i had to always use my voice especially when it was uncomfortable and you have to realize this was hard because growing up uncomfortable conversations were silenced and don't you dare disagree with someone older or you're quote unquote disrespectful i had to unlearn these outdated teachings by reminding myself my voice is important and respect is earned not given you have to be honest with yourself first before you can be honest with others for instance i accept that some of my beliefs have changed and that's okay with me i learned early that people are going to hold value on certain sacred scriptures more than other sacred scriptures based on their beliefs but every religion has two common themes love state of heart and how you treat others the golden rule so i value these teachings more than anything else i learned if everyone treated people how they wanted to be treated we wouldn't have many of the issues we see today but change can't happen without acknowledgement this was the hardest stage for me because i had to acknowledge my trauma i dealt with trauma in the workplace in my community in my childhood in past relationships and the list goes on remember trauma comes in many forms and when unaddressed its effects will control your mind until you deal with it in your heart i had to own that this happened and what am i going to do to be better i started by setting boundaries and sticking by them i looked in the mirror and asked tough questions like do you hold your same beliefs from childhood because that's what you were taught or that's what you believe today this helps shape my narrative because you have to love who you are and love your life to attract people who do too i challenge you to share your narrative your story your truths with others even when you're nervous of rejection or uncomfortableness i'll go first i want to preface by saying i believe god is in control of my narrative and we have a very intimate relationship now buckle up because my truths may hit a hot spot it was hard growing up because everyone told me it was a quote-unquote sin to be who i am a sexually fluid woman i like who i like and from as early as i could remember i battled with my sexuality since elementary school i was told to not follow my heart because other people believed it was wrong that's why i had to think for myself and decide what i believe in my heart today as a kid my relatives prayed against me hell i prayed against myself i really thought praying and going to church would quote unquote deliver me and then i learned your sexuality is just as a part of your identity as your race it's not about the gender of the person you're with it's about the true love you share your brain can't control who you love only your hearts can but that's not always true because your brain has three different sides your emotional brain right deep inside your thinking brain right your prefrontal cortex and your body brain right your gut your intuition so after studying the brain in the heart i realized the damage i was doing to myself by praying against myself for years i was telling myself subconsciously that i wasn't enough and not worthy of love and joy when truth is i am and you are too there are going to be people who dislike parts of your identity but you can't let their thoughts of you outweigh your thoughts of you many people are attracted to the same sex at least once in their lifetime and some people stick with it and some don't some people only accept same-sex relations at parties when it's quote-unquote fun or in their incognito web browsers yep i said it but that's their truths now you know mine and while my sexuality is a part of my identity so is my unbelievable work ethic also called grit grit is power and perseverance towards long-term goals what are your long-term goals looking at my life in retrospect reminded me i wanted to be the change i didn't see i wanted to be the representation i didn't see an educated sexually fluid young gorgeous black woman with a doctorate degree that's change right there but the most important part of change is believing you are equal and enough and sometimes that means looking at your life in retrospect to pinpoint when you may have stopped feeling you are enough and worthy of love and joy so that's hashtag change that's my philosophy that's my secret community right honesty acknowledgement narrative brits and equality and then the personal change is confidence honesty acknowledgement narrative grit and equality if you can muster the courage to implement hashtag change in your personal life you'll notice your relationships with other people will improve including ones with your partner for example my girlfriend and i are quickly approaching five years together happy and healthy no cheating no breaks no toxicity just us and people always ask us who plays the boyfriend neither of us and that is such an annoying stereotype by the way we are just two gorgeous women in love and some people choose not to accept that but that doesn't matter to me because she shows me how much she loves me by how she consistently treats me talks to me and empowers me last year we went to the smoky mountains and reconquered our fear of heights being 600 feet on top of the mountains created a peaceful environment for reflection our trip actually helped me see my life more clearly in retrospect and as much as i'd love to share more about my relationship and our fun adventures the point is when you're confident and honest and who you are acknowledge when it's time to grow share your narrative display grit towards your goals and remember you are equal and worthy of love and joy you'll notice the positive changes in your life that follow remember transformation cannot occur without reflection your brain intention your heart and commitment your life reflecting on my life helped me become more intentional and committed to the change i wanted to see i challenge you to look at your life in retrospect what does that look like what does your timeline roller coaster look like today i've shared how i've overcome every challenge in my life by first asking myself who says i can't maybe you want to start your own business follow your heart speak up set boundaries stop settling for less than you deserve or just open your mind i challenge you to conquer any height because who says you can't soon you'll be calling me dr miracle but for now just miracle will do thank you