The Power of Support | Andrea Sasha Ortiz | TEDxUNT
[Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] on may 18 of 2008 i was pronounced clinically dead when i revived three minutes later it was immediately clear that i was in dire need of support i did not have i knew i had to make some major changes and it was time to leave the violent relationship i had endured that's me about two months prior to this event standing outside the crime scene in the united states one in four women and one in nine men experience severe intimate partner violence in the form of physical sexual emotional verbal and financial abuse and stalking all of which often result in injury fearfulness post post-traumatic stress disorder and a name for a need for crime victims treatment 14 of homicides 70 of which happen to females and 30 to men are the result of intimate partner violence of those who survive an estimated 94 to 99 percent will also experience economic abuse when i think of these facts i'm reminded of the people who question why i didn't just leave or why i wasn't smart enough to realize he was unsafe i remember those who called me stupid and weak or questioned my credibility most memorable are the ones who said they didn't want to know it all because there was nothing they could do my lack of support and safety directly correlated with my circumstances and i knew if things were going to change i needed the right support system this is maslow's hierarchy of needs psychologist abraham maslow theorized that a person cannot thrive if their basic physiological needs are not met physiological needs include things like shelter safe shelter water electricity utilities safety needs include things like knowing that your home is safe from abuse knowing that your home is safe from threat knowing that your home is not going to be taken away from you a person who lives in fear for their or their children or their pets lives cannot excuse me cannot active excuse me cannot achieve or maintain safety love belongingless belongingness self-esteem or self-actualization therefore a person experiencing intimate partner violence and especially economic abuse is essentially disabled from leaving despite coming from an affluent background where my physiological needs and safety were met i still had no support after being revived in the er i was fortunate to be connected with a survivor advocate who shared information for community support resources and she encouraged me to share my narrative shortly after i began attending a survivor support group where i learned that economic abuse had fulfilled this former partner's ability to exert power and control over me which resulted in him taking my life in the process of healing and reclaiming myself i developed what i call my stem theory stem is an acronym for support time energy and money think of it sort of like a plant at the root you have support which are your friends and your family the people in your community who care about you and champion you to your success people who mentor you and encourage you to stay ahead tea time those are the seeds the time that's invested in pursuing life-affirming and fruitful ventures that will help you to get ahead e is energy those are the branches when you wisely invest that time and energy excuse me the energy and you allocate it the right way these lead to lucrative opportunities that will ultimately help you to make m money those are the leaves the fruit of your labor many people want to invest in you but they will definitely want to invest in you and they observe you growing and being successful if intimate partner violence survivors are going to reach self-actualization they must be empowered to attain financial freedom from abusers western society dictates that money is the most important important currency by which we transact my experience taught me that support is the most powerful form of currency on this planet it transcends socioeconomic status gender ethnicity religion age and any other identifier that humans use to define themselves when we intentionally combine that with well-managed time energy and money anything is possible economic abuse is debilitating on many levels socially financially physiologically emotionally spiritually but most importantly it cuts off a person's stem without which they cannot thrive in 2008 when i began my second life i transcended surviving and began thriving by cultivating my stem i did this by utilizing my system of support and in exercising what i call extreme self-care i regained my mind body and spirit health by participating in art based healing circles with other survivors and engaging in frequent journaling and reflection exercises as well i attended to me and i reclaimed me so i'm here today to tell you that if you or anybody you know are experiencing intimate partner violence you can develop your stem today by connecting with helping professionals who can help you align with community resources and help you to get a safe space for you to speak your truth and champion your health and your safety you can manage and cultivate your energy to align with your unique gifts talents and abilities to free yourself from all forms of intimate partner violence i believe that in doing this you will be set on an economic path of freedom which is a form of self-actualization if you can sew a button if you can cook a meal care for others walk a dog or drive you can leverage any skill to achieve economic freedom because of those amazing women healers who took me under their wings and supported me with their time and energy i was able to reclaim myself while identifying my own strengths this is what gave me the ability to become an entrepreneur a speaker and the brand ambassador that i am today i want to leave you with this final thought that survival is living in vigilance over one's physical safety needs however thriving is evolving to a place of stable secure and safe realization of your autonomy with a system that thrives toward a stem victims are transformed into those who live victoriously i'm andrea sasha ortiz and i would not be here today without a powerful stem and i believe in the power of support thank you for listening [Applause]