The Beauty of Blooming at Your Own Pace | Riya Sharma | TEDxHarriton High School
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LRdwD20qu_Q Video ID: LRdwD20qu_Q ============================================================ So when I was first introduced to TEDex by one of my best friends in the whole world, Diana Rali, I was in love with the theme blooming. I mean, I think blooming is the perfect metaphor for the human experience. Really going through hardships but coming out on the other side, beautiful. But when I tried to incorporate this theme into my life, I stopped. I mean, looking back on this year, I was a mess. I mean, I guess you could say I was trying to bloom and then I wilted away and died. But one thing I did learn that was really important is that blooming isn't always about a big moment or a big win. Sometimes it happens beneath the surface. So, have you ever felt behind? And I mean really behind. like you've got a 60-page essay due in an hour that you haven't even started. Or the final your final grade is determined on this final test and you don't even know the first question. Or maybe it's like everyone around you has figured out their future and what goals they're working towards and you haven't. Well, that's exactly how I felt at the beginning of this year, my sophomore year. I felt behind and I felt really overwhelmed. You see, in this pursuit of trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my future, I tried everything. I was in five clubs. I did a varsity sport. I had a job. I volunteered on my weekends. I took highle courses. And at the end of all of this, I still haven't figured out what I want to do. Let me elaborate. So, as a 16-year-old, I don't just have a small dilemma when it comes to my future. I have a whole problem. And in the pursuit of trying to solve this problem, I came up with a spin wheel. I feel like spin wheels can probably solve every single problem. So that's what I tried. Um, on each piece of the spin wheel, I had a different career or a different major that I was thinking of pursuing. So you can see I have got premed on there. I've got engineering. I've got business, finance. Literally anything I was thinking of, I slapped on this wheel and I gave it a spin every once a month or so. When I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed with all the work I had, it gave me comfort knowing that I could just determine my whole future with the spin of this wheel. And while I didn't exactly choose yet, this wheel definitely helped. So, what I'm trying to say is that I haven't really blossomed yet. So, you might be wondering, if you haven't bloomed, what are you going to teach us about blooming? Well, I have learned a few key things on this pursuit of trying to figure out who I want to be in the future and I'd like to share that with you. So, the first thing is that growth can be invisible. You see, I used to think that growth was obvious. You know, growth was getting a good grade on a test. Growth was winning an award. Growth was something you could probably post on social media. But this year, a lot of my growth was hidden. My growth looked like having to try way harder in a class that looked that was so easy to me last year. Growth was quitting a club because I didn't actually like the club. I just liked the name of the club. And growth was rotting away my weekends when I didn't do anything productive because I was just too exhausted. Growth can be invisible. And growth can be invisible. And you don't have to always push yourself to see change in yourself. All right. So for my second point, um I want you I had to understand the issue of comparing myself with others. I mean I think all of us have compared ourselves to one person, right? At least for me, I used to compare myself to the A+ student that could get the best grades in the class and knew the content that the teacher was teaching probably better than the teacher. Or I would compare myself to the star athlete that was so good at the game and knew exactly what to do at the exact moment they were perfect. Or I would compare myself to the incredible instrumentalist that could play melodies like there was no tomorrow. But you have to remember that they are better than you, but only because you feel that way. It's okay to not live an ideal life and it's okay to not be perfect at everything. You have to remember that maybe that star A+ student doesn't have as many fun hobbies as you. Or maybe that maybe that star athlete doesn't take as many challenging courses as you. Or maybe that incredible instrumentalist doesn't have many activities outside of their instrument. You have to remember that it's okay not to live an ideal life. And your growth isn't measured in comparison to the people around you. be yourself and work towards the things that you want to work towards because you should work towards becoming the best version of yourself that you can be. Now for my final point, oh actually I do have an incredible quote by the Roosevelt that says that comparison is the thief of joy. And I think this is the perfect quote to support the theme that your growth isn't measured in comparison to the people around you. Like I've said, be the person that you want to see in the future. Be the best version of yourself that you can be and be who you want to be in 10 years. Now, for my final point, persevere through the unknown. This year, I've basically tried to force myself to choose a career path. I would always say, "Ria, if you just chose what you wanted to major in college right now, your courses would be so easy to choose this year." Or, "Ria, if you just chose what career you want to do right now, you could just choose the extracurriculars and activities that align with that career." And I really tried to say this to myself like I could bully my future into existence, but obviously that hasn't worked. And I used to think that loving all of these things and not having a straight path was my biggest flaw. Like I was directionless and broken in comparison to the people around me. But I've realized that it's not a flaw to be different and it's not a flaw to love so many different things. It's really just a phase. I mean, it's just a phase. And I've learned a lot about how Um, blooming isn't about trying to push yourself into one one path or trying to push yourself into one major. It's about trying to figure out who you want to be. It's about not comparing yourself to others and persevering to a goal that you might not entirely know. It's choosing the unclear path. It's choosing progression over perfection. And it's choosing effort over ease. Blooming looks different for everybody and blooming is beautiful and you should try and bloom into the best version of yourself that you can be. And I think that's the beauty of blooming at your own pace. [Applause]