Why reassurance doesn't always make us feel better | Anna Linnehan | TEDxEndicott College
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MoYZ_Ukemlc Video ID: MoYZ_Ukemlc ============================================================ Transcriber: minnie zhao Reviewer: Trang Phạm Last October, I was in New Orleans for a conference. One morning I requested an Uber to meet some friends for breakfast. Now, if you've ever been to New Orleans, you'll know some of the most friendly and charismatic people live there. When you take an Uber ride, you’re certain to have some great conversations and maybe a little adventure like outrunning a train. That really happened. My short journey began with the driver inquiring as to my reason for being in Nola. I shared it was attending a conference in behavioral science and presenting on emotions. As we drove on, we entered an area that had been severely impacted by Hurricane Katrina. Although 18 years had passed, the effects of the damage could still be seen and felt. The driver explained. As a result of the hurricane, many of the people in this community had relocated and left it feeling deserted, and many of the homes still showed the effects of the damage. I would soon learn this damage was more than just physical. The driver went on to say, Before Katrina, you almost never heard of anyone in therapy. If someone faced challenges, they would seek solace with friends and family in the neighborhood where you could get a meal, some conversation, and when you left to go home, the problems you came in with just didn't seem as bad. The driver went on to say, you know how some families seem to have that crazy cousin? Well, even these crazy cousins had a place to go, and they were, in fact, fewer homeless people. The driver explained. As a result of the hurricane and the loss of this community, many people were now struggling. And as for those so-called crazy cousins, they were left behind and no longer had a place to go. As we were driving, a potentially impaired man stumbled off the curb and into the road. The driver had to swerve quickly to avoid hitting him. The driver turned to me and said, see, crazy cousin. Like I said, an Uber ride in Nola is an adventure. But I was so impressed by the observations of the Uber driver on the value of human connection and the impacts on a community when this is lost. I couldn't wait to get to my destination and discuss it with my colleagues. Later, I began to think about the parallels between the loss of this community in New Orleans and the loss of our social connection and isolation that we may feel as a result of the Covid 19 pandemic. I asked myself, is virtual connection enough to replace real life interactions? Do we have someone that emotionally takes care of us, even if we don’t realize we need to be taken care of? Could the loss of our communities in our towns with families, friends, coworkers we actually see in person be leading to some of the mental health challenges we are seeing today? And if so, what could we do about it? As a behavioral scientist, I approached these questions by considering how our actions are influenced by the outcomes or the consequences they bring. I considered how. When we look at behavioral science, if we do something that leads to a positive result, we're more likely to do it again in the future. This is called reinforcement learning and can be seen in a range of areas including economics, education, health care, and even technology and social media. Have you ever noticed if you're searching for something on your phone, like a new pair of sunglasses or a vacation destination, those items show up on your other feeds. Those algorithms developed by programmers using behavioral science are based on your search history. If you stop clicking on them, they go away and new ones appear, all based on changes in your behavior. Now, we typically think that how we feel is in control of how we behave, that our emotions come from somewhere inside of us. I was so angry I yelled or I was so scared I ran away. Well, actually, scientific data do not support these hypotheses. As described by neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett. While the body and brain are part of the emotional experience, emotions do not originate in the body. They are constructed from our experiences. In behavioral science, we not only take into account the behaviors in terms of the interactions with the world that we can see, but also those we may consider privating our thoughts and feelings. But here's what's really cool. We can treat our thoughts and feelings like we do other behavior. What we feel is actually a function of what's going on in the world around us, not the other way around. By looking at the actions of our behavior, the results of our actions are of our behavior. We can start to understand why we think and feel the way we do, but more importantly, we can actually do something about how we feel by changing our behavior. If I were to ask you, how do you think I’m feeling right now? You might say something like scared, nervous, maybe terrified. You might suggest my heart is racing, my palms are sweaty. But what led you to those conclusions? And why did you choose those words? Perhaps you're considering how you might feel if you were giving a Ted talk. What you've actually described are the emotion, words, and emotional behaviors associated with my current situation. But since you can't really know how I'm feeling, how you might feel if you were on the stage. What if I were to ask you? How do you think I will feel after this talk is over? You might say something like, happy, relieved. Heart rate's coming back down to a normal pace. What you've described here is actually a change from one situation to another, and that's what I'll suggest emotions do. This is what we're researching in our lab after the work of B.F. Skinner, Israel Gold Diamond and T.V. Joe Lang, that emotions are actually descriptions or clues as to what's going on in the world around us as we navigate through different situations. Let's take a look at an emotion that's prevalent today. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, in 2023, nearly one third of adults in the United States have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. And guess what? Reported feelings of anxiety are even higher, up to 50% for individuals ages 18 to 24. When someone comes to us with anxious feelings and distress, our first reaction is generally to provide some reassurance and comfort. And while this may provide temporary relief, it doesn't address the situation that led to the reports of anxiety. Oh my gosh, I have a huge test coming up. It counts for 50% of my grade and I don't even understand the content. I have a performance review next week, and I’m really worried about my performance over the past year and what my supervisor will say. As a behavior analyst, I would approach these situations by asking the question, what outcomes are these folks after? In both cases, there's a requirement to be met and there's a current state of their performance. But that performance does not match the requirement. This gap is what we're describing when we say there is anxiety. And the bigger the gap, the bigger the anxiety. So what could we do? Well, we could build up behavior to increase our performance. But if this gap is too large, it could be very challenging. We could temporarily lower the requirement and build behavior in smaller steps. For the test taker, we could break up those concepts into smaller components, allowing for more achievable steps for that individual to not only learn the content, but also build confidence. In terms of our coworker, we could help them create a list of their achievements and evidence of their accomplishments so they can approach their review with more confidence. As the Uber driver pointed out, we need our communities. We need each other to help resolve these situations. Otherwise, Persistent anxiety can lead to things like isolation, fear, and avoidance of situations where anxiety was present in the past. Here's another thing to consider. We're a generally pathological society that often focuses on distress. We also need to make a place for positive emotions like joy and triumph, where they can be reinforced. Hey, you aced your test or you did a great job in your performance review. Let's go celebrate! It may be too late to rebuild that original community in New Orleans that was so severely impacted by Hurricane Katrina. But it is not too late to rebuild our social connection to one another in a post-Covid world by really listening to what our emotions are telling us, both the good and the bad, we can provide genuine support for one another. Now it’s your turn to be the Uber driver. Get yourself a five star rating. Talk to people. Listen to them. Look for the emotional cues in your community. Use them as a compass to guide your actions and make a change in the world. Thank you.