Impostor syndrome | Maria Avram | TEDxAmericanInternationalSchoolofBucharest
[Applause] why am I here what is neither right to speak at this conference how could they think that I'm able to do this sure I got the lucky numbers in my topic initially but they might not have a fake right maybe I should just give up before anyone figures that I'm a fraud or even better maybe I should indicate the rest of my life to becoming the best speaker in the world so that no one will ever know that I have no idea what I'm doing have you ever known your something like this if so you might be one of the many people don't have impostor syndrome but let's run a simple test if a question applies to you raise your hand Yusef is like your success is based on luck on being at the right place at the right time or because you need the right people so you didn't think I'd hit it an error does it apply to you you feel like you give the impression that you're smarter than you really are and your skill that people will find out does it sound familiar you often worry about failing and you get discouraged if you're not the best and finally if you're some recognition of some kind you hesitate until others and thoughts an accomplished fact if you raise your hands for most of these questions well you might have impostor syndrome according to the developers of the impostor phenomenon theory the term imposter syndrome is used to designate an internal feeling of intellectual fallenness found mostly in highly cheating people they sparked outstanding academic and professional achievements before imposters you know persist in believing that they're really not bright and helpful any one of things otherwise numerous achievements do not affect the impossibly as they're dismissed as luck timing or because they knew the right people so in short now if you didn't raise your hands you might think all of us who that are crazy what reason would we have to believe that our success isn't enough to prove our worth I have something this way too but then something I received a scholarship to come to school everyone who knew was just bursting with excitement I can't discuss my prayers to sign the contract and everything was fine but then came the sour it's the longest summer of my life I waited every day for the phone to ring waiting for someone to call me and tell me that it was a huge mistake that I wasn't really the person they were looking for despite what I was told throughout the admission process I could not understand why anyone would pick me above people and I still don't to this day when somebody says oh you're a scholarship student you must be so smart I respond with no I'm just good at pretending somehow the more success I get the more I feel they need to undermine it and the more infini to avoid sharing it believing it was just a fluke some tyronn ik doesn't it success creates fear of success and the more successful you are the more likely you are to feel like your success isn't enough but I'm worried you're not alone it is estimated at around 70% of all people look like in boxers at some point or another in their lives many famous people such as Tom Hanks John Green Emma Watson and Neil Gaiman have reported feeling like imposters so if it's so common where does it come from why are the common things that make all of us feel like imposters one cause is parents they have our best interests at heart but sometimes thinking put unnecessary pressure on your children being told while they're growing up that are so smart and you can achieve so much you're just not living up to your potential or that you only fail because they don't work hard enough might be phrases that parents use to encourage their children but it creates for your failure which is one cause very posture syndrome another costs as you might expect is school the fact that one mistake can cause it to get a lower grid which will then lower your entire GPA causing you to not get into college not job and failing life is something that many of us experience daily and it creates your responsibilities as many students just to take and is your class just so they can get better grades if they do pick a harder class and are successful they're gonna business that's luck in order to avoid like placing further expectations on them this is that many key for later in life and I think I'm a bladder success they are going to take risks and after the first mistake they not started not trust themselves even when they are successful its leads to many missing important opportunities I think do not really that they can be successful in anything that they do so we have identified the problem and analyze the causes the next step is to find a solution unfortunately this is always the hardest part as the only solution is really to learn to control it yourself people like imposter syndrome are masters of self-criticism and they struggle with negative feedback they need to learn to own their success and understand where it comes from and they need to learn how to make mistakes but that's easier said than done what my to do is just put yourself out there take on an activity you've never done before something you know you will necessarily be good at in order to understand that yes you will make mistakes or try to fix on one skill that you have in order to step you are good at something and you're not just lucky or a fake in the end what matters is that every time you feel like you don't know what you're doing just remember that no one really knows what they're doing we're all winging it so yes in a way we are all face so next time you feel overwhelmed by us or no just take a deep breath and think about how much you were to get to where you are for most of us it's not something that we got without deserving it your success is yours don't let your thing you might take it away from you mean I don't mean activity since I came to this school and I ended up leading some I've had a mixture of success and failure and I've come to understand that it's normal and although I still use the occasional I'm just good at pretending phrase I try to stop myself why should I say I worked hard to get here and I'm working hard to stay here did that sound like I was bragging I don't really work that hard I mean there are so many other people who work harder than I do and know so much more than I do I think that if everyone think no more much more than I do and I just damn it okay so I'm still struggling with it just like many people I didn't undermined my success but it's a process does it make me any posture and I'm here giving you advice about how to get rid of an impostor since don't have a couple if you worked for me maybe but I'll let you in on a secret right now I feel less like an impostor than when I'm in a situation when I'm actually supposed to know what I'm doing why because I'm taking fate into my own hands I took a risk and I escaped the prison that is my mind I worry about how little I knew when I said to make this stop and I'm aware of how hard I work to get here and no matter what happens I feel successful and this time I wanted my mind take it away from me and give it away this success is mine thank you you