Oh, her? | Ranysa Meas | TEDxCIA First Intl School
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBiiW1Aco1U Video ID: SBiiW1Aco1U ============================================================ greetings everyone my name is r and I'm currently 14year old and I'm so excited to be here to present you a topic that I rather found fond when I was trying to create the slides but before moving on I'd like for you to understand that as a 14-year-old I have never been taken seriously in a variety of situation I people questioned whether I was capable of doing it or not I actually wanted to organize my own tedex before but because my school they never knew that I could ever achieve something like this or they think I can't ever hold such responsibility so today inspired by that I created a t talk on the topic of oh her we've all know oh her for many different types of way if we end up in if we end up in conversation I want you to raise with hands anyone in here has ever gossiped yes whether for good or for bad for goods for example where you raised so high in that conversation but for bad in which these people does not recognize you instead they're able to criticize and judge you without knowing who you are without having even a slight conversation with you so today I want to show you how ohe her when I was at her after a subtle o walking down the staircase when I was just trying to get a class get to classroom but my first ever o her came when I was 13 and the O her was said she's the president of The Debate Club but she can't even debate look I can say that it it may seem dramatic about me to even think about something like this right but as someone who had that Debate Club even if I was still starting my debate Journey the objection was never to Vanquish or take over anyone at all or use that title to manipulate anyone instead my objection was to just ever have a space for these people who need help building their Bridges when they are unable to to rather help the people who does not have the resources to understand the fundamental of debates and I just wanted to help these kids these children that after studying about the environment of my school for so long and understanding that these kids aren't getting the support and Al some also sometimes the um responsibility and education that they deserve and because of this one quote and two tiny words of oh her just because of a gossip I took it not the light not the light way rather I used it as a way in which it hurted me so badly and note guys even if I was 13 I wish that I could just take F of this differently rather than thinking that just because of this one quote it defines every single thing about me because of this one quote I gained two different things firstly sorry all right so um sorry for that but I gained two different things from the two tiny words of oh her and that was um and that was fear failure as well as insecurities first fear of failure right we all know fear of failure happens because of the validation that you want from other individual when I kept in mind all of these things that have been said about me all the gossip all the oh her behind my back I really realized that I did not take into account how what I could actually do what I could actually have done sorry for the slides but because of this I took I had the power but instead I gave that power to other individual to guarantee My Success so because you set up a standard for yourself you really want to go against that standard I'd like to give an example so all of everyone in here we've heard of the World Scholars Cup right I've attended this competition for two consecutive year 2022 and 2023 I was lucky enough and privileged enough to be given by my parents this opportunity but at the same time this competition was rather valued as not as great as any other competition but at the same time people don't understand the dedication and the hard work that has been placed upon to even have the title that this competition was ever to serve I started my first year in 2022 and I I did good in regionals so so in globals and and really really really bad in Toc and starting 2023 I really wanted to change that I really want to make sure that I gained experience and different other opportunities and used all the things I could grasp from that competition bring it back and try to build something for myself but the thing is right because of the because of the journey that I've had and the fear of failure knowing if I come back home not doing better than what I did on the first year or even being mid and average of that competition I know at the end of the day I'm going to be embarrassed disappointed and I'm going to be useless nothing within the country that's at least what I believe 13-year-old me believed that all it had to do was about me but rather than me for me I wanted me for everybody I wanted everybody to pursue what they want but because of me I was selfish I was ignorant without understanding any of that but the most important aspect as well that I've gained is even more insecurity look don't get me wrong I was already insecure back then but because of how people are able to talk behind me I got even more insecure not just because of my looks but maybe because of my ability as well there's so many other people at my age who are able to accomplish many different things I wasn't able to attend the most expensive School get the greatest English lessons but at the end of the day I try to make use of the education that I'm getting every day day by day but the thing is these insecurities is what made make me Define myself these two of the fear of failure as well as insecurity allowed me to become a really mean and obnoxious a rude person a person who does not take anyone's by regard a person who does not forgive a person who does not know how to love or appreciate anything at all during those times I hearded people around me my friends my family especially my best friends I never deserved to treat anyone that way they did not deserve to be treated that way I could go back into a conversation and be so Ruth and ruthless I'm not care about their feelings and I'm here to talk about how words can um build impact and I always spread about it but at the end of the day because I was hurting inside but at the end and I could not do anything about it and that's why it really hurted other individuals around me and that's when I needed I knew I needed to change so today I'm going to be giving you three different things that I've taught myself to make me become the person that I am today so firstly is self-respect so firstly is self-respect you have to understand that the value of you as an individual comes from you if you're able to understand who you are and what you're meant to be then that's what matters nothing matters from any other individual I have once tried to go to a public speaking and I've applied and someone told me that I looked too mean to become a public speaker so that that was when I never tried public speaking ever again and that was just because of that one criticism that one judgment that stick in my mind by a group of Elder people who should know more than to just just tell someone about that rather than not encouraging them to do better and also the second thing I want you guys to understand is boundaries the second thing I want you guys to understand is boundaries recently I realized that I love the idea of writing so I created myself my own quote and that is you don't have to like everyone and that's something that I took that that I took into account after this past year it's the fact that you don't have to have an explanation you don't have to have any guilts sometimes opposite does not attract and that's okay we live in a world in which we are not liked by everyone so why do we expect to like everyone back just to calm our own soul even if you like everyone and that is seen as a kind an innocent an amazing person I want you guys to understand the risk of getting hurt by these individuals who are not your preference is rather higher than keeping your peace to yourself you have to note it's not jealousy it's not hate but at the end of the day these are things that you have to keep to yourself as boundaries thirdly it's uh thirdly it's self-love I want you guys to understand that after have mentioned that I was really insecure about myself I kept procrastinating even though if I still do now but back then it was even worse I procrastinated but I didn't even get the job done and I I decided that my mood depends on every single answer so let's just say that there's a debate competition coming up right and someone asked me if I could join their team I would say yes or no depending on whether I am suitable for them or maybe can I do enough for them and this was one of my biggest mistakes of all because I started being scared of spars debate spars because I'm too scared to go against these national teams these Great Debaters who has Legacy in the debate Community why because what if they know that I went wrong what if they know that I am this person like the quote that I've given you oh her the girl who's the president of Debate Club but she can't even debate so I started to refrain myself from going to any debate again and from my teammates they know well that I have never been sparring with them that much and that is the cause of that just because of two tiny words that took me back a lot and a lot and I still today standing I cannot believe that I let those two words take ahead of me and I want you guys to understand that because of just these two I was able to fail I was able to not bring myself to become a new person and I want everyone in Auditorium to understand that you are for you are yourself you know I love Kung Fu Panda and the one thing that he always said was the fact that there is no ingredient into making something special it's you who makes it special and I believe that you should take that um as your life you that should be the quote for your life life is up to you and no matter what the gossips are or no matter what oh her are behind your backs whether for good whether for bad I want you to understand the impacts of words and what fear failure and insecurities are going to do to you no it's not easy to get rid of any of these aspects but it is important to at least try I started my journey since I was 12 but I was n able to be really recognized or really be acknowledged because I was just as this 14-year-old girl this 12 this 11 year old girl who cannot hold such a responsibility at that young age so I want you guys to understand when you have this opportunity to be recognized to be given to be given the opportunity to do something to show how incredible you are as a person please take the chance and not rather use your insecurity as a way to answer any of other people's question again fear failure should be nothing to you guys failure should rather be a comma a time for you to take a breath a time for you to rewrite and also say your narrative by your own oh her does not mean anything these gossips should never take get to you as much as it did to me as naive as I was at least today I know that no matter what gossip no matter what people say it will never get to me and that should be your foundation into becoming a better person with all that being said thank you for being a great audience thank you a