The Value of Golden Memories | Frank Beltran | TEDxDonovanCorrectional
Transcriber: Ben Khazaeli Reviewer: Rhonda Jacobs How many of you really think about memories? What kind of images make up the majority of yours? Hugging your family members and telling them you love them, watching sunrises, sunsets, or walking through green forests. Which ones do you prioritize and reflect on often? Or do you spend the time you have to create memories staring at all those little cat videos online? (Laughter) Think of these questions. One of my memories that comes to mind is of a time when I took my daughter for a spring drive up to Mt. Baldy to see the snow before it all melted. There's a curve in the road that passes over a stream made by the melting snow on its way down from the higher elevation. I parked there and walked with my daughter down to the edge of the stream, which was a torrent, crashing against the rocks. The sound was almost deafening. There was a small pool that branched off from it. I stood there, as the sound of the angry water was drown out by the laughter of my little girl as she played, dipping her hands in the water and as golden sunlight illuminated specks of dust in the air, like a diadem of stars revolving around her head. I didn't want to leave from that moment. Time stood still. And I felt overwhelming joy, just watching her play, being her father and sharing that time with her. What a vivid memory it left in my mind. You know, there comes a time in everyone's life when we reach a point of reflection, consider decisions we've made and things we failed to do. Some people make a bucket list in order to encourage themselves to do all kinds of fun and crazy things while they're still able to, before youth moves on elsewhere. But sometimes when life's consequences take a tragic turn, our golden memories can become too painful to reflect on, and we find ourselves trying to forget them in order to protect ourselves from the searing pain they leave in our heart. After all, there's no greater sorrow than reflecting back on happy times when you're in misery. To maintain sanity, we may try to amplify achievements we've reached, desperately focusing on those things to assure ourselves that life has meaning. How do you compromise between those two opposites? Which memories would you place greater importance on? In my case, I'm faced with the prospect of endless incarceration. On a daily basis, I'm forced with the task of just finding something to give the day meaning. No. Before my incarceration, I've come to realize that even then, I had an empty feeling within me, constantly looking for something to make me feel important and to make a big imprint on the world. I studied different religions searching to fill that void, eventually settling on philosophy to fill my mind. But today, from what I see with the social climate out there in the world, I see so many people are going through the same thing I did. And looking back I realized that so many of the things I used to focus on that squandered so much of my attention, were just trivial illusions, and a total waste of that short, precious time I had to make those memories, and make life worth living. I used to think that one of my greatest achievements in life was of a time when I was one of a few people chosen, to give a speech to Muriel Morse, the Chairwoman of the Industrial Wages Commission. I told her about how hard it was being a young father, trying to support a family on minimum wage, which hadn't been raised in many years. Something I said must have made an impact on her, because my story literally brought her to tears. After the presentation, she sought me out in the crowd, and told me that she was going to raise minimum wage to help people like me. Convincing her to do so affected untold thousands, and I felt I had made a major contribution to society. I considered that a pinnacle in my life. Sometime ago I came to the realization and felt the guilt of having wasted so many years not appreciating enough of those golden moments. I did not paint enough images into my mind with those details that make life such a vivid experience. To this day, I desperately try to go back there. In times when I'm alone, and I see the sunlight flowing in through my 4-inch window, lighting specks of dust in the air, like so many stars. I try to relive those moments I wish would last forever. We all have a tendency to forget, that everyone here has purpose. We're all here to make an impression on someone's life. Our human experience makes it hard for us to appreciate all those little moments until they're gone. But honestly, its importance cannot be overstated. That memory with my little girl was decades ago. In the blink of an eye - (Snaps fingers) decades. Well, how many of us can appreciate those golden moments now? Marcus Aurelius wrote that - and we've all heard the saying - "Do every act of your life as it were your last." Maybe Marcus Aurelius was onto something way back then, in the days before so many digital bits and bytes steal so much of our attention. Can we heed that advice these days and put down the laptops and cellphones, and take time to apply all those little brushstrokes that create the foundation of our lives? Are you paying close attention to all those little details that make each moment so ripe and colorful? Let's not take those for granted. Appreciate your golden memories that define purpose and brighten our brief shining moment in the sun. Thank you. (Applause)