Transcript

The Power of One | Preethi Srinivasan | TEDxIBABangalore

now I'm pretty skinny marcin I'm a quadriplegic right so if you are going to take a few seconds to applaud to just encourage me to start that will be really great that increases the blood circulation in your body and keeps you going for the next few minutes so that you don't fall back to sleep so that's another thing I cannot do but here's a challenge I have for you what if I ask you to take your tongue and touch your nose with it I can do it how many of you can please try it out and lift your hand if you can one two three okay about less than ten people in in a group of around more than 100 does that mean the rest of you are disabled handicapped let's say I mean the tongue is the strongest muscle in the body and if I have the strongest tongue here I made the strongest person here I made the body will turn the crowd yes so what is disability then we have to think about it right if we clap if we wear glasses are we disabled it's just a matter of degree right I just need a few little extra things and that's about it so what happens though when we think about the world we live in the society we live in we always think that society is somewhere else and I'm somewhere else right all of us is there anyone who has not felt excluded at any point is there anyone here who has not felt left out was not felt that injustice has happened to them anyone who has faced injustice who has faced corruption who's faced left who's felt like they've been left out in the group yes who has felt left less than on some level even in our family even with our friends you can't do this you're left out if you're better than everyone else you're left out right but we all say we want to change society but then who's going to do that right who is going to be that change we never think about that let me start with a story we had a beautiful golden Labrador Retriever his name is Toby ok and he's such a sweetheart he was only nine months old when my father passed away and after that there was nobody to take him out and every chance we would get he would run out of the gate and somebody would have to go running behind him to get him back home right but then I thought about it why is he running away because there's nobody out nobody there to take him for his exercise that my father used to give it he was mine now so it's my responsibility so we would tie his his leash around my armrest and I would take him for about 45 minutes every day for a two three kilometer run around Tiruvannamalai where I live and you know what everybody was very excited to see us running around you know what they said wow this is such an amazing dog he's taking you running every day well in truth if he was taking me running I would be in some ditch in the corner the smelliest part of the that street because that's where he would go right but that's the thing if you're in a wheelchair people automatically assume you can't do anything why should it be that way right so I'm here to say that I'm the power of one I'm the face and voice of this invisible segment of society and I'm here to just show you not as an egotistical list of accomplishments or something like that but a really humble objective experience of what has happened through my life to say that given the opportunities what we can do I think we would all agree today that we live in very very isolated kind of world is it not we live like little islands rather than as one community the basis of this whether it is on a micro level on an individual level or on a national level is that very early on very primitive ly when you are one or two or three we are given this conditioning that somehow I am different from you and my needs are more important than yours today he'll be told that what did what did your friend get and if he got ninety they'll say what did you do why did you eat up the ten marks that I should have more than the other we know this we have seen this in a national level as well every country wants to say that I stole my petrol and my fuel and use up everyone else's right and that is our conditioning I will keep on accumulating so that I have more than you and how can you do that how do I know that I have more than you I'll have to compare one slide back please I'll have to compare I have to know what you have so that I can have more than you so automatically what that comparison causes is competition I have to compete with you I have to have more than you right I have to somehow even destroy what you have or take away what you have which we have seen in history throughout history to have more than you and when that competition causes conflict you have war right we have to compete we have to have more than the other we have to be better than the other we have to somehow be the only one with the most of things and how to do that if conflict if I have to control everything then there won't be conflict right if I can control the neighboring countries then they won't go to war with me so how can I do that I can do that financially I can do that through you know by giving them weapons I can do a lot of things but um it's thus between people check out your fellow students check out your you know friends so-called friends what do they do I always as a kid you know we used to play cricket on the streets and there would be one kid who owns the bat and the ball right and he would always want to bad and if we say he'll get out for the third time and we'll say enough now you don't get too bad he'll say it's my bat I'm taking at home right we have all faced their control control is the name of the game control the numbers control control control but what if we don't do that what if like Bhutan we decide to give back what if we decide to understand that we are all one that the power of one is actually in our oneness because if we are trying to beat down the other then we cannot grow we can only grow with others and that's what I think is truly the power of one so let me go back because this conditioning I have also received I was by the age of eight I became the first and youngest girl to play for the Tamil Nadu senior women's cricket team I was a national level swimmer this is just the story I was a national level swimmer I was in the top 2% Isle in the academics I was all that I thought I was a star I thought I deserved everything I got and then I went for a college excursion and I fell into about two and a half feet of water as soon as my face went underwater I felt like a shock-like sensations travel through my body and then I couldn't move I mean think about it I've been swimming since the age of three I know how to fall into water but I never woke up I never got up again my friends pulled me out I'd suffered a c4 c5 level cervical level spinal cord injury I became paralyzed below the neck from being the hero the star it became zero the invisible one nobody wanted they have anything to do with me and I didn't understand what the society was all about because I was the same and these people who saw me like something to be admired saw me like something I was supposed to be pitied I was the same warrior the same achiever inside but they didn't want to have anything to do with me so when people saw me I would get panic attacks I would not be able to breathe I stayed inside the house for about two years because I didn't want to have anything to do with this society it was my parents love my parents unconditional love who said we value you you are the same precious child you were they gave me that love to transform myself to come out my father would say why are you so worried about this body this body is nothing everybody's body is going to go everybody's body mind is limited so go within find that with within you that is not limited that cannot be touched by changing circumstances find yourself something that is eternal that is true that is beyond birth beyond death so I did and guess what the girl who used to get panic attacks when one or two people came became a public speaker that was just the beginning I tried to join college I tried to join psychology because I was interested in the way the mind works right I was told that there are 15 days of practical classes no lifts no ramps don't join so this girl who was supposed to be in the top two percentile of the american student population who could have gone to Yale or Princeton or Howard anyone was told that she cannot get admitted into a Correspondence a long-distance study program in India this is the truth of our society so I fought it and today there is a working ramp in the ID building of Madras University and when I went for the practical classes all those students who went who studied with me walked up the ramp just as easily as anyone else people who can walk can walk up ramps so why do we need staircases again I'd like to know just because I'm unable to walk it might be something any any of you might have to face at some point in the future does it mean I cannot go to a movie theater I cannot does it mean I cannot go into a restaurant my friends have to carry me like this Joker in a circus I cannot go anywhere I think we deserve better I think we need to create an inclusive society that's wheelchair accessible that is truly inclusive in terms of providing good education that that can provide employment entrepreneurship reintegration into society after any serious condition this was just a dream how can we make it happen I'm just one person right I'm nobody I have no education I did end up studying MSC psychology which was a pretty good achievement for me given what I had to go through but the real achievement is that the next time anybody in a wheelchair has to do that they can it was a precedent so then what after these panic attacks after what my father told me after two near-death experiences I started mouth painting something within me started healing these are a few of the examples of my mouth painting I love I live in this beautiful spiritual temple town called Tiruvannamalai and there are a lot of Westerners there so I started teaching spoken English and spoken thummell to them I started teaching them numbers in thermal whatever I could I was giving back I was coming back into society and I started getting invitations to come to schools to colleges to corporate houses I've spoken to the top management of some of the biggest companies and I asked them what is it that you're living for you're working 12 to 16 hours a day and I can't buy a smile from you I smile it's free so I have the one thing of all the achievements that I'm proud of is that whenever I walk into the room I'm able to say I'm the happiest person here I'm happy I'm happy here and now I don't need anything for that to happen I don't need to earn so much I don't need to have certain husband I don't need my children to get into certain school I don't need anything I'm happy here and now I've lost everything there has to lose so called whatever society says you can lose the so what if you lose that everything I've lost and I know that there's nothing to lose at all I only lost my illusions and I can be totally free in coming in living in a wheelchair I learned to be fully alive in the here and now to be fully free in dying I've conquered death apparently the worst two fears that people have a public speaking and death I can say I've been there done that to boat so what do I have to be afraid of so I can live this life truly authentically truly in service of a greater purpose and when I started to do that Lord of things came my way but before I knew I was ready to do all this my father was the rock of my existence suddenly passed away overnight he was only 57 years old apparently in good health and he passed away four days later my mother had a heart attack there was nobody to take care of me we had no income we had nothing I started using a speech activated software and now I'm employed I work full time as a writer for a movie based website and I can challenge any of you that I can type faster than you so I get after spending a dozen years of my life in complete isolation imagine this I was 18 when I was when I had my accident then at about 28 I suddenly had to become the decision-maker of the house I suddenly had to become the breadwinner and I was still a quadriplegic we didn't know what was in the bank we didn't know who would sit me up in the wheelchair we didn't know anything even now my mother finds it difficult to sign a cheque properly so I had to do that and when she needed bypass the thing that came up was my my father's friends came up to me and said what if there comes a time when your family can't care for you when your mother can't care for you for once I had no answer I can't imagine my existence without my mother but when in doubt what do we do these days we google it right so I googled it and I found that in this country that's a billion strong 1 billion strong 43% of that is the woman's quote we have one fifth of the world's population there is not one long-term rehabilitation center for a girl in my condition I can call myself a girl right not one long-term rehabilitation center forget long-term not even short-term there are about three in the whole country for persons with spinal cord injury one four in Pune that's a permanent one you can go and live there but that's only for people from the services if you were injured while you were serving the nation in the Air Force or army then you can go there there's another one in Tamil Nadu that does not accept women and another small one that I know of a couple of ones one in Chandigarh and one but though they have only 15 beds each but guess what spinal cord injury the statistics are that one happens every 38 minutes 38 minutes it's not a rare condition it can happen to anyone at any time and there's no cure for it it causes permanent paralysis below the level of injury and there is not even one long-term rehab center so when it when I was told this my mother said you be the change you be the power of one you changed the world and I said ma are you mad I don't know anything about running an organization moment there are some numbers I go to sleep my brain shuts down and I don't know anything about the law so how am I going to do this I can't run an organization but then when I went back to theorum anomaly within a two-month span of time two girls I personally knew paraplegic girls were forced to commit suicide by their own families they were told you're a shame on us you're a burden because you are there nobody is willing to marry your brother we are being ostracized in the society so you die poison was next given left next to them they drank it and died we part of the problem not part of the solution I decided at that moment that it's not life is not about all the things you cannot do there are a lot of things I cannot do it's not about all the things you cannot do it's about what you choose to do with what you can do right many of you are more educated you're walking you're fit you're you can do so much more than I can but I felt I had no other choice but to start soul free soul free is a public charitable trust that is spreading awareness about spinal cord injury in India that is trying its best to rehabilitate persons with spinal cord injury back into society we are trying to give them wheelchairs we're trying to mobilize them we're trying to give them that faith that they are not a shame and a burden they have value just like everyone else we are trying to ensure that they get an education we are trying to ensure that we we India becomes more and more inclusive more and more sensitized we are setting up Independent Living programs so that if they can earn an income they should because the bottom line is the bottom line right if you have money in your pocket nobody treats you like I'm trying to be the change I am trying to be the power of one because I believe that we are all one unless we come together we cannot change society we are society so what can you do for me the next time you choose to wear a helmet you are the power of one the next time your friends go out drinking and you decide to be the designated driver you are the power of one the next time you meet a person in a wheelchair and you decide to sit next to them make eye contact and talk to them you are the purple power of one you befriend us give us jobs give us education I promise you we will not fail you because we don't take anything for granted people value we will work twice as hard as everyone else because we want to prove ourselves the only real disability is a closed mind we are not that we are willing to fight if you will just let us if we can have the infrastructure and all of you can help us in being the change just by changing the way you think just by deciding from tomorrow I'm not going to compete if I'm going to compete I'm going to compete only with myself in every other sense I'm going to cooperate cooperate with this world cooperate with the guy next to me I just want to conclude with one beautiful story that's really touched my heart one of the world's leading anthropologists went to this little village in the middle of nowhere in Africa where they don't have food to eat where there is no education and he decided that he would give them a competition so what did he do he decided that he would give them a bag full of fresh fruit a basket full of fresh fruit he got together some children from the age of 8 to 16 and he said you have to run from this end to that end from this tree to that tree so in India had he run this competition the children would have pushed each other down to get their first right but these kids without any form of education they held hands and they just walk together to the end line all together all the power of one and the power of oneness he got very angry with them he said don't you understand what the power of water race is don't you understand what competition is you were all one of you was going to get this entire basket of fruit and they said if one of us got this entire basket of fruit and ate it we would only get diarrhea so what's the point if everyone around me is sad how can I be happy it's a basic concept that we are taught in our village and it's called Ubuntu everyone near me needs to be happy everyone near me needs to grow everyone near me needs upliftment if our society is going to be uplifted so can we all think about what we can do to be the power of one if we see an accident can be stopped and help and not just think about all why the hell should I dirty my shirt how did we get like this my motto in life is to just spread love light and laughter in this world so simple can we do that can we hug one person every day at the end of this talk I love I'll offer all of you free hugs so much energy so beautiful such a simple happy life we can lead why are we complicating it so much if we can all be the power of one I'm sure India will become the number one country in the world very soon because we have so much power automatically and then we can join beautiful Bhutan the way it was in becoming carbon neutral we can think about our environment we can think about our education we can think about so many things but we need to be united for that we need to be the power of one will you join me thank you [Applause]