Who are you? | Edanur Hardal | TEDxIEL
um hello everyone um I was I want to start with my um so I start that I want you to think about my talk as a three part story so starting with the first one I'm going to ask you to uh close your eyes just for a minute to better visualize next minut so you can close your eyes but please don't follow asep yeah so when was the last time you heard someone grabbing a Noel prize and offering you a offering you a compelling story or reading about a kid who got into all the I leue schools and confronted all the barriers that were put in front of him and also as all of his classes also do remember watching Captain America and IR man preventing the world from being destroyed by the aliens or con taking or do you envy ad so much that it sometimes physically hurts to hear her voice because it's maybe impossible to feel so many Deep Emotions at 19 21 now you can open your eyes because the rest is not that magal well whenever I hear one of these stories I IND deliberately think about my own life which is not quite full of such extraordinary accomplishments so that's why as soon as I was asked to prepare a speech for this conference I gole this how to make a great how to deliver a great pencil I was actually disen by the result that turned out because for example on the for space it said that life make a superhero story well I was like thank you very much now I'm going to talk about me being Wonder Woman after I was bit by a spider and that sounded a little bit Incorrect and confusing because I'm no Avenger and today you're not going to hear a superhero story but then how I was here to inspire you then I decided to go this way I kindly invited you to follow my as I tried not toinspire you by by my not so groundbreaking life experiences so let me tell you a secret all started with Ken Robinson maybe some of you know him by his through school skill your creativity which is the most famous T talk well before months before I watched this talk I read his book The El now picture 14-year-old girl who just passed the French prep class year in her high school and who is ready to find her true self her true element as he said she finds that book on her sister's book tase on the first show and well star TOA guess that girl was me and I bet this simple yet impossible to realize this idea that I had to find my I I had to find who was and what my real passion was in order to be fully happy that sounded extremely easy at first because I knew what I was most passionate about reading I was a fantasy cior so talking was the ruler of the world for me and J maybe his right hand and on the other hand there was Philip K dick like the Secretary of State and the powerful strong leader who the leader of the conspiratory conspiratory group against his government yes that was without a doubt my question but have you experience the time went up turned upside down for me all gradually changed as my reading materials comprised less of SciFi and I started to watch TV shows then I decided that it was actually my question I think you all like TV shows like who doesn't like seeing the seeing the brilliant mind portrayed by also Talented Mr Benedict kber so maybe that was my element watching for TV shows then came my interesting languages I had already been learning French for for a year and ping beautiful love but it was not enough with French I had the chance to pull my English English level from E1 to E2 and two passions into one conrete BL reading and watching into language learning then that 14y old girl started to started to learn Latin in French and after that 16th century England Latin comparing to Roman and I decided that I was sure to be a theologist the best one may but as I turned the pages of the element still I found inse myself caused by not being able to find that one passion that I wanted to be I wanted to explore and be be an expert of I could not hold on to anything for a very long time because I was freckled by Nature by the time I finished reading this book A A consider a Mally long time of my depression followed because I felt lost purposeless and maybe a littleit un by the time I was and and um I'm sorry maybe you know maybe you think it's not a big issue or I'm exaggerating because maybe you think that all the adolesence feel the same thing but it was a real issue for me back then and I was in a little withit who I am crisis so these wise words with a ro of Maron were my mot here I am waiting Happ soon so why am I holding on then one day I forgot about I forgot all about the book Mr Robinson right wrote that made me upset uh I found this uh I found this book that is called diver maybe you know you know about it because it's why be popular right now so that first book of the triology try gave me the opportunity to accept my own self with all the wide interests the maybe I have had through throughout my life I could finally love the INRI of cist I could finally be someone who is proud who probably declared herself not to be a science student but like the uh complexities of biology and biology and living things finally my love fory could show and not only the science love n in me but also the r spectator or painting lover self show itself and as I traveled from from City to city in jkey and in France with my French leer when I was 16 I had the chance to introduce the actress in me the travel now second part let me tell you another quote from the band Mar again it's not always very but it flies so I should have known that being a Divergent person is not possible in today's world not to spoil the book for you but even the girl even the heroine in the book cannot do that years after our day so let me ask you another question what is one typical question that everyone asks you when you're a kid yeah exactly so everyone asks you what you want to be when you grow up no one expects a concrete answer from from a little kid because you cannot be a seriously professional answer when when you're at that age um for example when my teacher first asked me what I wanted to be I said a hairdresser and the next year I wanted to be a traffic police and then an architect and then a lawyer genetic engineer and maybe an astrophysicist the short version is that my future career path kept splitting up necessary and two years two years ago from today it only became real when in high school they asked me to to choose one specialization and concentrate in one subject so they told me that I cannot take all sorts of classes so I cannot take history with philosophy and chemistry and I should I should choose one of them the rigid education system in turkey and maybe the education system in the whole world cut my cut my way cut my di way short and on top of it all as the end of my major episode in life that is high school atro the amount of time of a day started to fall short thanks to every fall short to do everything I wanted to do thanks to the slightly faster of Earth around itself itself maybe you remember the song which is whatever will be and everyone around me started to ask me this question and they obliged me to choose but I was too reluctant to do that so came to sleepless night and as I Tred to do this famous balancing your work with the extra extracurriculars you love then to do that I was more or less T apart different essays online classes school work and school clubs and Etc So reading a book and watching it maybe watching a TV became a burden for me the suggestions from the self-improvement books were not enough because I cannot do less sleep more and be happy at the same time I have to choose something and because of that I had to let go some of the things maybe I love the most such as sleep and um I I tried to reach out to some sort of answer to the question I was asked and I quit writing my journal going to movie theater once a week and Learning lesson for fun acting and many more things my really L right now I stand here with a ticket to that feature maybe after all I have been offering to a place on the plane the university to take me to a better career to better to a better future one does not necessarily follow a singular path but I don't think that after I land in the land where my future a what I kept doing to to attain the scope will Define me my self-definition of an adult will remain as the things I have to let go for this institution that is called a higher education so I would like to welcome you to the third and last part of this tale I've been telling mostly talking about myself is a un iing this prevention of being who you are in the way that you desire to be even people who are willing to help you on the way may cause stress and this decrease your motivation somehow along the way I have learned that the path you will walk should not belong to anyone but you and be the wellknown author or a member of your family of course you should clear the path with the advises you get and notice the heads up about pass but you should not allow someone who who L that you because you you like to run while playing Ina make you think your decisions twice I think you should enjoy being well ground because maybe the maybe the passions you don't think you have will not Define your future so if you want stay and as long as you see where you are it's okay thank you