Do First Years Last a Lifetime? | Ephie Ballard-Johnson | TEDxMemphis
[Music] I am one of 79 children raised by my mother and father and needless to say transporting us was no small feat honestly I did not realized that riding a mobile home was not normal for most families until I was 19 years old honey we was in that camper honey going everywhere as a child I never had to guess what my mom or dad were thinking my father was one that taught all the time I mean everything was a lesson this man had instruction steps one through five on how to tear Saran Wrap we had classes on everything from raking leaves to f towels and how to hang the hanger the right side I'm like gosh is it that serious now we were a churchgoing family but as a little girl we didn't have a children's church or Nursery so that meant when you came to church everyone was expected to sit where in service anybody know what I'm talking about whether you were a newborn a toddler or Preen by and by oh when the morning comes when all the saints of God are gaed home [Applause] we I was hoping you would go to feel it comfortable uncomfortable cuz my point was if you're feeling uncomfortable right now that was exactly how we felt when my mom was staring at us if we was acting up in church you know what I'm saying that look whether she was in mid sentence mid prayer or mid song that stare was all we needed to get our little selves back in order but what if your life was all but orderly what if your start was all but orderly one in five of our City's children go to bed hungry every night with only 33% of our children kindergarten ready and across our country nearly half of all babies born each year are born in poverty living a life that starts from day one in poverty lends itself to constantly constantly being in crisis mode where I work it's not uncommon for a mom along with her newborn to to make us her first stop on their way home from the hospital to pick up diapers or other necessities so here is poverty overshadowing that baby before he or she ever makes it home for the first time one message we constantly communicate to those we serve is that properly touching talking reading and playing with your child is the key to their first critical years of development because I firmly believe that our first years do last a lifetime or 20 years to life science tells us that the first three years of life are crucial in the development of the human brain the child's brain and while I'm no scientist I know the brain has billions of neurons firing and those neurons forms tril form trillions of synap synapses I know that the early that early brain development is built upon stimulus and response model and that 80% of the volume of a brain is formed by the time a child is three years old it has also been proven that brain development is highly influenced by one's environment understanding that positive in events reinforce positive wiring and negative events have the opposite effect this wiring influences cognitive social and emotional development now maybe some of you already know about brain development but I did not understand the importance I just kind of thought kids automatically should be valued productive morally centered and basically happy because that's the way I was raised in the camp or in you know everywhere else we were but for some it's not that simple what may seem as a simple act for some may be a great feat to others believing that a child is a child and they'll just turn out fine because when they get to kindergarten they'll take care of it often saying the school is will will be the place that it'll get taken care of often saying things like I have other children I've got to keep a roof over everybody's head food's got to be put on the table and that takes up every day all of my day and I ain't got time to think about nothing about nothing else ain't nobody got time for that now it may seem cliche but this is a harsh reality that we who serve the poor and underserved encounter every day helping folks is hard and while I can do this for a minute I have to say today I'm thinking about folks we've got to help and I don't have an answer it's messy and sometimes in each case every case is tougher and tougher than the one one that comes next the one that came before is hard then the next and then the next and sometimes all you can do is pray for help to figure it out because you can't create a program for everything the good news is that negative experiences can be rerouted and correction can take place I personally lived in a home where my biological siblings and I were raised along 75 other siblings with no government assistance and my parents didn't have much money some came because they were seeking guidance support or needed a different environment others had lost their parents and then we had those that were there because of alcohol abuse drug abuse um neglect and and the list goes on and on whatever the situation my parents made a decision to invest not only their their resources but they gave their time and to help wherever they could I personally witnessed my my siblings experienc compassion and nurture that sometimes um they had never experienced before some exhibiting a tough shell because of the resilience needed for them to survive on the streets or fend for themselves in their own home imagine finding yourself responsible for three other siblings because your mom has checked out of life and you only five years old it sounds unreal but it's true what in the world do you do with the anger and the lack of connection because your first years were hijacked and all you know is if I'm hungry I'mma steal it but over time the negative turn into positive and those with significant challenges experienced a rebirth of sorts where the resilience combined with intentional parenting redirected the trajectory unfolding new and lifegiving possibilities the sad sometimes horrible memories were still there but for the first time they could truly experience a positive life of those who experienced the most challenges Total Recovery was not a reality because their early years had affected them so much so negatively they may have experienced an improved life but it was not a correction course it was already too late this is not a race problem this is a human problem and our society our America is only as strong as the life that has the greatest need I have sisters and brothers all over the United States who live productive lives now but to see that reality took me 47 years and counting Hallelujah [Laughter] time is precious it's a commodity and in the plight to help young lives Thrive we have to do more than just give it to somebody else to do I love working with youth and every summer um I love introducing them to new people new ideas Productions and things like that and um and they love playing tricks on me because I'm a easy target anybody know what this is right here I'm getting all them necks when I get up out of here you know I'm saying sharing your time sharing your life is key to helping our children have a better chance to live their best life what are you willing to do to help turn our failing communities around remember every moment counts because our first years do last a lifetime thank you