Transcript

A forma como você encara um momento pode mudar tudo | Paola Antonini | TEDxNovaLima

Translator: David DeRuwe
Reviewer: Theresa Ranft Have you ever stopped to think that your biggest opportunity could happen at exactly
the most difficult moment of your life? I'm going to tell you
a little about my story and show how our thinking
and the way we face life has the power to change
everything around us. Almost three years ago,
on the 27th of December 2014, I was going to take a car trip
with my boyfriend, our first trip together,
to celebrate New Year's Eve. We decided to leave quite early,
about 5:30 in the morning, to avoid traffic, and so we did. I was taking two bags, and I decided to put one in the trunk
because the car was already very full. And then, at the moment
I was putting the bag in the trunk, a girl was driving home from a nightclub, and she'd had a few drinks. She lost control of her car, and I ended up pressed
against my boyfriend's car. At that moment, I fell, and I waited
for help to go to the hospital. There, I had to undergo a 14-hour surgery. Before I had the surgery,
I asked the doctor, "I'm not going to die, am I? 
I still haven't said goodbye to anyone," and she said to me, "No. Stay calm." It was all I could think of. I was so frightened, but I stayed calm. The 14 hours of surgery
were difficult as well. They tried to save my leg
and did everything they could, but they couldn't save it. They even took out my saphenous vein. I have a huge scar on this leg. But it wasn't possible,
so they had to amputate. From this point on,
what I'm going to tell you is how my life totally
changed after that day and how I became someone [inaudible], someone who loves challenges,
someone who lives life to the max, and, more importantly, someone that found
a true purpose for life that day. At 6:00 in the morning, my parents came
to give me news of the amputation, and my immediate reaction was to say, "It's OK. Thank God I'm alive, right?" All I could think was
to give thanks, again and again. I felt such a relief
that I hadn't lost my life that day that I didn't see how I had the right
to complain about losing a leg. I had a lot of doubts, for sure.
I didn't know how it would be. I didn't know any amputees. I didn't know what a prosthesis was like,
if it was gray, if it was beige ... Mine today is sparkly, right? But I didn't know. I didn't know if I was going to be OK,
how everything would be, but I resolved not to suffer
in anticipation. I said, "Let's face it a day at a time. Let's see how I am. I can only be thankful right now. Let's not think about tomorrow." And that's how it all happened. Even in the midst of so much uncertainty,
I still had so many things I was sure of. Each day I was in the hospital,
I thought and said, "Wow, this is nothing compared to my life. What's losing a leg, seeing that I'm here, and I have everyone that I love? I could have died without having
said goodbye to anyone." This gave me much strength
during my recovery, and my recovery wasn't easy. I thought that I would just go there,
get the prosthesis, and walk out. And I was frightened because, in addition to the pains
that I already felt, the phantom pain, it was difficult to balance
and walk with a prosthesis, and it hurt a lot. I wanted so much to walk. So, I would get home,
crazy to take off the prosthesis, and I'd leave it on. I'd keep it on the whole day, and so, quickly, I began walking again. Little by little, I was doing
the things I'd done before. It was really cool because,
in my twenties, I could relearn to do things
that I had never thought about, like, for example, walking. I'd never stopped to think
that our arm accompanies our leg or that when we go up a ramp, our trunk has to accompany our body. This was very special and valuable for me. I said, "Thank you for letting me see
these incredible things and for giving so much value to things that, until my twenties,
I thought were so small, right?" So, I went back to doing
everything I did before and started to do things
I'd never done before, like dancing, surfing, skateboarding ... Each day, I was inventing something new. I committed myself, "I won't drop the ball, I'll stay strong. I want to surprise myself
and everyone around me," and I thought it was possible. All this was possible
thanks to four lessons that I took with me every day and that played
a fundamental role in all this. My first lesson was don't overvalue
what isn't essential for you. This could have a variety
of interpretations, right? But two, I think, are very important. The first theme I want
to talk about is problems. Everybody has problems; everybody is struggling
with a problem now or has enormous problems at home. We don't need to put
such a large importance on them. We can simply choose how we want to face these problems. They don't need such great importance. You don't need to lose the whole day stressed out and angry about this problem. Let it have lower importance. A second thing we overvalue is beauty. So, until I was 20, I was always focused on the body, right? We always want a better body. There we are working out, exercising,
"I'm so unhappy with a little extra fat." When something like this happens,
when we suffer an accident, when we see that
we could have lost our life, we say, "My God, what nonsense! Why was I giving this so much importance? This is nothing!" We all have imperfections;
this is how life is. It's much cooler to have a different nose,
a little fat, a body type - Imagine if everybody were the same. It would be so boring, right? I have great pride 
of my leg, of my scar, of all this, of the purple that I have on my knee, because this is telling my story. Here is my story, what I went through, my trials, my tribulations. I think people should think
more about this instead of always wanting to get
better and better and better. The second lesson that I took for my life is that, if you have an idea,
whatever it is, or a dream, go after it because it may be your last chance. When I suffered my accident - I have two little examples
that are small but really make the point. When I suffered my accident, I had just taken a break
from my college administration course - I had completed a year and a half - but my dream had
always been to do journalism. I didn't do journalism
because it was difficult to find work. It was a complicated profession. So, I was trying, but uncertain
about administration. I was doing a little course. Two days after my accident, I said, "My God, I have to do journalism, now. It's my dream and what I love! I would have died at 20
without doing what I love! I would have spent all the days of my life
without doing what I love, worried about what return I would get. What's the sense of this? I want to be happy!" And it was something
I was very certain about. The second little example is a very curious thing. The first thing that I wanted
to do after my accident was get a tattoo. Nobody understood, "How come? She has so much to do. Why does she want to get a tattoo?" Just before my accident,
I had wanted to get a tattoo. I said, "I'm not doing it. I'm really young, and I'll certainly
regret it in the future." Later I said, "My God, look
how many things I wouldn't do because of a silly fear of being sorry." So I went, with the two crutches,
no prosthesis yet, to the tattoo parlor and got three at one time. (Laughter) I already have ten
and don't know when I'll stop. This little gesture - This, for me, represented a lot
because it represented freedom. I was imprisoned
by the things I was afraid to do for fear of being sorry, and when I saw that life is so fragile,
I said, "I can't do this. Let's enjoy it." My third lesson,
which is super important for me, is about fear. Fear is always with us. Everyone has fears.
Fear is a totally individual thing. Some people are afraid of losing someone;
others are afraid of some animal. After my accident, I developed great fear: one was of cars - I had fear,
I lost the notion of space - but the biggest was of flying, and it was a panic too. It is difficult to explain to someone
who, maybe, has never suffered this. My hands would sweat,
I'd feel sick, I'd cry ... It was so difficult for me. Then, my first job was 
away from Belo Horizonte - they invited me for
a fashion show in São Paulo. At the same time that I was very happy, "My God, my fashion show.
How will all this go?" I said, "I think that I won't go.
I'll make up an excuse. I'll say that I'm sick
because I'm so afraid. I'm sensing something bad.
I don't think it'll work." I spent a week thinking about not going,
and then, I decided to go. It was very important for me because going was what gave me
the kick-start that set me free, what made it possible
for my life to be what it is today. I travel weekly. Sometimes, I travel several times a week. I take international flights by myself. None of this would have been possible,
none of this would have happened if I had let my fear defeat me that day. I say that maybe I'll have fear
for the rest of my life, but I can always choose
how I face my fear, how I deal with my fear. There is a phrase
that I always take with me: "Courageous isn't the one who has fear, it's the one who has fear
and still does it anyway." This is in all aspects of our lives: fear of risk, fear of change, fear of changing jobs, changing homes ... This takes me to my last lesson which, for me, is the most important
and may summarize everything. It's about change. Changes happen all the time. Time is passing.
Someone shakes a hand, a head, and there are all sorts of changes: big changes, small, good, bad, some that we choose
and some that we don't. What we'll always be able to choose
is how we react to these changes. I lost my leg. It wasn't a change that I chose.
It was something that happened to me. At that moment, I was dealing with a fact. Nothing I was going to do
would bring back my leg. Nothing. I had lost it. I could be sad and ask, "Why me,
right when I was going on a trip?" or I could say, "Let's see
what's awaiting me, see what this life and this world
are going to be like." This is really cool,
and this changes everything. I'm certain that if I hadn't faced
my change with optimism, I wouldn't be here today, and maybe my life would be
totally different from what it is today. In addition to these four lessons,
something else started to be important, "I want to stay close
to my family, my friends, at home. I value them so much.
Wow, I see how valuable our lives are. I want to enjoy every little second, but, at the same time,
I'm traveling more than normal, and I'm spending more time with strangers
than with the people I love. Why am I doing all this? For what?" What motivates me and has motivated me
until now is knowing I can help people. I can help so many people
that are in the same situation as me, and people that aren't, people that are only needing
maybe a little stimulus to live freely and accept themselves. This motivates me every day. I have so many plans. I have so many things
that I still want to do. When I suffered my accident, I said, "I don't know why this happened." Everybody would say something different. I don't know, but I want to take this as a mission. I want to take this awful thing,
as many people consider this accident, an awful thing that happened to me, and turn it into the mission of my life. I want to make this a true purpose, and that's why I am here. And you? What are you doing with the difficult moments in your lives? Thank you. (Applause)