Shy to Shine | Shivani Bajaj | TEDxMody University
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muqVTm_zCCM Video ID: muqVTm_zCCM ============================================================ Transcriber: Hòa Thịnh Lê Reviewer: Ngọc Anh How many of you believe yourself? Please raise your hand. Thank you. How many of you feel you are not enough? Please raise your hand. Thank you. How then are you? Look at her wrist. How thin it is. How do you stand? Stand straight. How do you speak? Speak confidently. I grew up with lots of criticism. It turned me into a shy, introverted, under-confident girl. I looked around for familiar faces in the crowd to feel safe and to hide behind. I struggled to ask questions. I struggled to get my doubts clear. I struggled to answer, and so I struggled to get grades. Slowly I started to believe I am not enough. And the people around me. They deserve better. And my belief became my truth. My comfort zone, which was my home, turned into my shell where my parents and my siblings believed me even when I didn't. Hi everyone. This is my story. Shine to shine. The seed of self-doubt was so deep inside me silently in my childhood. Time passed, I moved, this schooling completed. Now it was time for me to fly to a new city, fly from my nest as there was no good college in the city where I lived. Now. With lots of emotions, juggling inside, nervous, confused, a little hope and a joy. But one emotion which was hijacking all these emotions. Fear. I have to take a flight. Flight from a nest without my shield, which was my parents. Trembling inside. But I did it. I did it because deep inside I too had dreams. Big dreams, small dreams. I too had dreams. With all the self doubt I courage a little of I gathered a little courage. I took the flight, landed to a new city. New people around from different city, different value, different culture, different background. Very conscious not to be judged again. But slowly I realized nobody was commenting on me. Nobody was saying how I look, how I talk, or how I speak. I slowly started coming out from my shell. For the first time ever. I started to to be my true self. Time passed. It was a new phase of life. Graduation completed, I moved to a new city. I joined the corporate world. I worked with a few multinational banks. I was earning quite good. But self-doubt was following me like a shadow. It led me, kept it, kept me away from growing while others were easily climbing the ladders. I worked for a few years and then finally I decided to resign with the confidence I will get something during my notice period, but nothing came through. But my old friend, my old friend self doubt came back again and this time it was much louder. I slipped back into my sheer conscious, unheard and unseen. I was juggling, I was fighting with all emotions. When one fine day I finally received a call for an interview. But it was not from a bank. It was from a play school for a play school teacher. After all, just one thought me as a teacher. I myself struggled for the grades. How can I teach someone? But God has its own plans. I still remember, I mean, from team leader to play school teacher. ₹5,000 per month. My first day in the school, I was battling inside. I decided I will resign by the end of the day. And then those little ones started coming to the classroom. Few with a big bright smile with sparkling eyes filled with teary eyes. Few quiet and observing around. Few held my hand with trust. Few hugged me. I don't know what really changed, but something shifted in me. What I know I didn't resign that day and I earned something much more bigger, much more valuable than money. And that was I found myself. That was my first step towards a journey of self-discovery. I worked in school for a few years, and then I resigned. But this time it wasn't with the confusion. It was for the clarity. And in this journey, I discovered two things about me. First, I love to explore. And second, I love to learn. And I cannot sit idle. So I start it all again. I started to explore, I learned, and I studied the new changing face of education. And soon I started my own online academy where I started teaching children across the globe. And I started this with one mission. Mission that I will help every child to believe in themselves, and they should explore their world before they try to learn it. And today, I proudly say that I have helped more than 800 children to believe in themselves, to love themselves. And during this phase, I even participated in International Teacher's Olympiad, where I was ranked in top 10% among educators worldwide. Now, when I look back, I often wonder what really changed. Was it the city? Was it the people or was it the career? No, it was me. For years I waited for the people to believe in me. But the moment everything changed, when I started believing in myself. I thought I am helping those little ones to build their confidence. But somewhere on the way, they help me to find mine. Every curious question, every big smile and the little wince. That was my rhythm of change. I realized change doesn't mean it. It doesn't look like a thunderstorm. It doesn't scream or shatter. It hums quietly. It waits for you to listen. It waits for you to move with it. And if I tell you my journey from self doubt to self discovery wasn't random. It was built step by step, choice by choice. And if I come up with one word to describe you as my journey, one word which I can give you, which you can take along with you. If someday you, the self doubt comes and tries to shut you down, the word is believe. The word itself is very strong, right? But here each and every letter has a strong meaning with a strong message. Where B stands for break the silence, doubt grows when there's a silence. Start talking. Talking to your parents, your best friend. Or maybe you can write it down. When you break that silence, the doubts start losing the grip. E stands for embrace imperfection. The world is not waiting for the perfection. Progress is more important than polishing. I didn't do it in overnight. I didn't become confident overnight. I learned it, I practiced it. L stands for listening to little wins. Every little win is important. Every little win is important to be celebrated, whether its first case, whether its a first step, which you take or whether it's a first shaky answer. I stands for initiate the action. The biggest lie which doubt always tell us is start when you are ready. I wasn't ready when I started teaching. I wasn't ready when I started my academy. I wasn't ready when I published my books, but I did it. So can you. E stands for empower yourself with knowledge. Read, ask and meet. Meet the people of the same like minded people. And you know what? Learning is not just going to sharpen you, but it's also going to heal you. So start doing it. We start stands for visualizing. Visualize what you want to be. Close your eyes and visualize what you want to be and E stands for Encourage others. When you encourage others, you raise yourself. So next time, when doubt comes and knocks your door, remember this word belief not just as a word, but as an action, as a courage, and even as a compassion. Here's the truth either you can wait whole life for the world to stop judging you, or you can live your life deeply so that you don't. It doesn't matter who is watching you. Whenever doubt comes to me, it reminds me, comes to me I remind just. I think of one song, a famous in the song, which I want you to fill the blank with the last word. And the song is. So yes, they will speak. Let them speak. You. You walk, you rise and you shine. Thank you.