The Power of Words in Communication | Xuan Anh Hoang Nguyen | TEDxThe Dewey Schools THT
[Applause] Hello. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. It's nice to see you all here. Um, I want to start by sharing a story about one of my close friends. She was brilliant, full of innovative ideas and she had a vision that can barely be found in anyone else in the class. But when it came to presenting her ideas to others, she struggled. One day she was so upset about her project failure. So she came to me and talked to me and she tried to describe her idea to me to see whether I get it or not. And this is what she said. Okay. Right. So I have this idea. Um it's something that does not really help people directly but it's something that makes things easier for the users. Um it's not really like an app but it's more like a product. I think um and I mean I have the idea in my head but I just can't get the words out. Now I understand why she was so upset. Her words lacked clarity and her message was scattered and the result her project failed. Not because that her idea was bad. I mean we didn't actually have the chance to listen to her idea but it's more because that she couldn't transfer her ideas into words. And I'm pretty positive that in this crowd, there has been at least one person that has been in the same situation as my friend. This experience taught me something crucial. If words are not articulated properly, it will become one of one of the biggest disadvantages that a person have. However, if it is crafted well enough, it will transform into one of the most powerful tools that a person owns. So why is this? I will use Warren Buffett as an example to explain this. Warren Buffett is one of the most successful investors in history. He is currently in the top 10 richest men in the world. And during an interview, the host asked Buffett, "What habits do you cultivate in your 20s and 30s that you see as the foundation of success?" Buffett answered, "You've got to be able to communicate in life, and it's enormously important. If you can't communicate and talk to other people and get across your ideas, you are giving up your potential. This is what my friend that I mentioned earlier needs to hear. I mean, she was brilliant, but she couldn't transfer all of her magnificent ideas out into words and describe it to others. So, all of a potential and talent are meaningless. So, how powerful is this tool? Um, words when used correctly can have the power to alter beliefs and drive actions. The other day I was having a face-to-face meeting with my adviser about scholarship and university. I was so locked in into this university. I was trying my best to apply for the scholarship. But my adviser at that time was not really into that university. She tried to convince me to apply to other university instead, which they are really good options, but it was not really my passion. During the meeting, she tried several ways to convince me, but it didn't work. But then she said this, "If you apply to that university with me as your adviser, I will make sure that you will have an outstanding shot at securing a top tier scholarship." That single sentence has manipulated my mind for several days. I have ruminated a lot about my pathway during those those days and I even doubted about my all my effort and time I have put in during this whole time. But I know I might sound naive and too easy to trust someone. But sometimes in life that single sentence could have changed someone's whole pathway and leads to a completely different future. Beyond work and study, we see this power plays out in our everyday's lives. Think about love and relationship. Sweet talk and gaslighting are all proof that words have an immense impact on human behavior. One of my sister broke up with boyfriend multiple times and she will always have the same excuse that he keeps holding me back. So, the other day I took a phone and I read the message between her boyfriend and herself. And there was some messages like this. Okay, hear me out before you go. I know things haven't been perfect, but breaking up is permanent. And let's be honest, neither of us are good at commitment. You haven't finished your Netflix series that you started, and I haven't returned my library book from 2019. I'm not saying we're perfect, but we're are us, and us is worth fighting for. So, can we just hit pause instead of stop? I promise I will do better. And if not, you can break up with me after we finish your Netflix series. Deal. This guy was trying to remind my sister about their old memories, and he tried to be funny, which is a really good way to touch someone's heart. And in this case, he has successfully gaslighted my sister. So the next time you want to pull out a girl, gentlemen, learn how to speak properly. Um, disclaimer, I'm not trying to encourage you guys to manipulate girls. Don't don't get me wrong. Let's move away from the negatives. Let's look at the positives. Words when articulated in the right way can unleash ideas and open doors to incredible opportunities. I have a friend who actually encouraged me to learn public speaking. We were working on a group project and his idea to that project was not something too outstanding. But I am more impressed by the way he speaks and communicates during the whole project. My first impression about this guy here is when he described his idea to our pro to our group and this is what he said. I want to study how cutting down trees leads to droughts by looking at places like the Amazon and Southeast Asia. I will compare places with lots of deforestation and healthy forests using data on soil, water, and rain. This way, I can take a big problem and break it down into a clear sciencebacked solutions. It was impressive and our group eventually succeeded beyond our expectations. His idea was really simple but by communicating it properly, our group can see our pathway in this project clearer. And when we understand the direction of our group, we will work with each other easier and more effective. Through that example and the one that I mentioned at the beginning, we can clearly see that the problem is not the idea, but the way you speak is the pivotal part to decide whether you will succeed or not. Now, some people may argue that um speaking skills aren't that important or I'm too afraid to speak. Well, this is actually true. Let's look at some statistics. 85% of people experience nervousness when it comes to public speaking. Another study shows that the average person's heart rate increases by 30 beats per minute when delivering a speech. Also, public speaking is ranked as the top one fear among people, even higher than the fear of death. So, it's not that people don't value communication and speaking skills. It's because that people fear them. But I believe fear is just a barrier for you to train and overcome it. This fear is what separates successful people from everyone else. Successful people understands the value of communication and they actively work and master it. Let's look at Warren Buff Buffett again. He was once terrified of public speaking. He even joined in a speaking course but dropped out of it because of fear. But when he actually finished the course, he realized that communication was one of the most valuable skills he could ever develop. I can personally relate to this. A few years ago, I was not really confident with my speaking skills. I would stumble over words, feel anxious, and struggle to express myself. And so, I thought that speaking and communicating was something that is not really my strength. So I chose another pathway that does not require much speaking skills. And after many years of studying and nurturing my mind, I'm now here standing on this stage giving a speech about communication. In the past, I might have underestimated the importance of speaking skills. But over time, I have witnessed and experienced a lot of situations where I have to communicate. If I don't, I will fail. And I don't regret the decision to start to train and practice my public speaking skills. And during the time I was practicing, I stumbled across a really good idea that I want to share with you guys before I end my speech. I got this when I was reading a book about communication. And it says, "Ideas are the currency of the 21st century. And words, stories facilitate the exchange of that currency. So ladies and gentlemen, your future is in your hands. It is simple, powerful and scary. But once you have full control over your fear, you will become the best version of yourself. Believe me. Thank you.