Unleashing Your Power: How Storytelling Finds Your Voice | Tina Bakehouse | TEDxNWC
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ranu3eIUJRQ Video ID: ranu3eIUJRQ ============================================================ [Applause] I started my teaching career as a high school English and speech teacher and let me tell you that last year in the classroom was one of the most stressful ones in my life I had one of those students who when he was gone and absent it really changed the dynamic of the classroom well one of the days something had snapped in this student and he was angry and I didn't know his full personal story but he threw a literature book at me and said I want to kill you and it terrified me well shortly after that incident I opened my mouth to speak and nothing comes out not even a word and I have to get help from a student to get a principal to finish teaching my class and I go home and after a full day without the return of my voice my husband looks at me and he says with genuine curiosity when do you think your voice will return I think he secretively was appreciating the silence and so in this moment as I I realized I had to ask for help and so I elicited the help of a speech pathologist who gave me two assignments to rest my vocal muscle and to engage in lots of practices of breathing breathing breathing well didn't work and she finally referred me to a lolog who specializes with opera singers the doctor looks down my throat and he swivels back and forth in his chair and he sze and rubs his chin and he looks at me Point Blank and says you have vocal cord nodules now I've heard of this as I teach spee and what I know of that condition is Julie Andrews had had it and went through a surgery and it permanently changed her pitch lowering her tone he continued he says you have two choices you can have that surgery and your voice could change permanently or it may remain the same or six weeks of Silence that means no talking no Whispering absolutely no laughing no cheating I think this doctor is really crazy his words echo on and on in my mind over and over like a tape no talking or laughing for six whole weeks well I finally decide the less expensive of the choices six weeks of silence and during that time everywhere I went I experienced a lot of one-sided conversations people sharing their go goals their dreams their stories and what I learned in those difficult six weeks as I really really listened and was with them let me tell you there were a lot of awkward one-way phone conversations I learned that people wanted to be seen heard and have a voice now storytelling isn't new it's been around since the beginning of time through cave drawings thousands of years ago all of you in this audience grew up probably enjoying a really great story whether it was told from a parent or grandparent or teacher or even in your own imagination creating characters were wired for stories because they connect us as human beings and allow us to emote emotions and to tell us what it means for Being Human because when we hear once upon a time or Bo do I have a story for you or three men walk into a bar it pequs our curiosity in fact cognitive psychologist Jerome Bruner has stated that stories are 22 times more memorable than data our brains are wired for stories researcher Paul Zak has said that oxytocin that love hormone actually increases in the brain when we hear stories stories heal us they help us through devastating events like losing a child or another loved one or going through very difficult failures to help us gain perspective as a holistic communication strategist and author of the book discovering our magnetic speaker within I've had the beautiful opportunity of working with a wide range of individ uals from around the world and I have witnessed firsthand how stories can promote social change they can help us really Embrace resilience in the face of challenges as well as Embark upon empowering experiences and self-efficacy one of my clients Seth a farmer has talked about his son having a disease a rare one and when he had a doctor look at him in at an appointment and say where did you get your water from Seth knew he had to change his farming practices and so he started to not only change his practices but speak and advocate for soil Health encouraging and hoping to in have other Farmers better their practices and to push for policy changes promoting social change another client of mine Meg has actually got adult onset epilepsy and she lost her nursing position because of that and she started to share her story and after a risky brain surgery she realized she had a vision she had been told over and over again you can't and so she decided to start a nonprofit Camp you can to support others with epilepsy to do really cool things like ziplining and archery and finally I had a wonderful opportunity to coach a high schooler for teen storytelling event Aly and she talks about how difficult it was to be raised by an alcoholic father who didn't nurture her or see her for who she was and after her story she had another teen audience member a young woman come up to her and say you know ask her if they could have a picture taken together Ali puzzled ask well why and this woman says because your story and inspired me so when I have a rough day I can look at that picture of us and know that if Ally can do it I can Doo sto her story not only empowered herself but also empowered others now in order for your story to make an impact it needs to be relatable and authentic it's embracing and balancing what author and consultant Anthony SNY has has labeled the three storytelling mindsets social performance and vulnerability now the social mindset is really referring to having an audience as part of your story the performance mindset is your vocal and physical delivery to Captivate your audience into your story and that vulnerability mindset is your willingness and commitment to open up now I love what Berne Brown says about vulnerability that last mindset it's a paradox that we love to see it in other people but we don't really like to we see it as weakness within ourselves but it has the most power when we share it in stories all of you in this audience have a story inside of you you have the ability to be a more magnetic Storyteller one who uses their words voice and body to elicit the desired impact I want to share with you my magnetic model at the core is a mindset it's coming with an audience and heart centered intention to be about them and building from that into that next layer is your message it's the words and style in which you express yourself and that final layer are your mechanics your vocal and physical delivery the words and the way in which you are seen heard what the audience sees from you it's the essence of who you are as a Storyteller now you might be asking yourself well how do I do this how do I be a a more magnetic Storyteller well I'd love to share with you two you know three tips today the first of these is mine for the gold our stories are gold it's asking yourself what do you want this story to do for you and for your audience are you wanting to persuade them to buy a product to grow your business or Inspire others at an event or just connect with another human it's going into that situation with a Storyteller lens you know for example my son loves playing the game of golf and just recently we were shooting nine holes together and he had a beautiful nearly perfect game he had six holes where he shot par and he got to Hole seven and hit a double bogey now if you know anything about golf par is really good double bogie is two over par and I could tell he was frustrated he went to pick up that ball and he was going to throw it in Fr in anger and frustration and he paused he took a breath and put it back in his bag and we walked on to holes 8 and n and he he then not only hit a par but then a birdie and I asked him what happened and he said to me Mom I had two choices I could either eventually practice being calm or In This Moment be calm for me when I go with that Storyteller mindset I have learned so much that your success comes from your mind and your heart tip number two create a clear objective start a story Journal list those various themes the lessons learned from your professional to your personal experiences right now I'm wearing a very special bracelet I received as a gift recently on a solo trip to Bali from Toya she talks about at 8 years old she saw New York Times article and absolutely told her parents I'm going to make it big and go to New York City and start my own business and she does and then what's really exciting is she not only makes enough money saves it and gets to New York and comes back to Bali to start two businesses one in in foods and organic foods and the other in Toya ass salts healing the world now the last tip I have for you is to practice share your story in various contexts for me in my business I was was given a challenge for my business coach to do a 30-day Facebook live Challenge and I did it day after day even though I was resistant and reluctant but I found in that practice Day 26 there was this metamorphosis that came out of me that I could and be share that passion and let it lead my communication that it came inside and that the more you practice the more you are a Storyteller so all the storytelling tips in the world are great but at the core you have to believe you are one as John capichi says we're all natural orders of our own lives and we tell stories with friends and family yet freeze and fail to do so in spaces where we can create real positive changes imagine if Anne Frank never journaled about the Holocaust experience exploring the futility of War and the need for human connection imagine if Berne Brown never expressed her vulnerability and shame journey and imagine if Malala never shared being shot and marginalized for her beliefs you know I had learned something very valuable from a client recently and she asked in a communication coaching program if I see myself as a Storyteller and I realized in that moment that my voice had been taken from me so many times that it's very difficult to call myself Storyteller you know from the time when I was a child and I was shushed and told called a big mouth for just having enthusiasm for wanting to read aloud or as a college student being taken advantage of by two men after saying no multiple times and even recently in the process of writing and Publishing my book my revisions editor looks at me and says Tina you're a smart woman what are you doing cut some of this data and put more personal stories people want you they want to feel and see you let me tell you even standing on this red dot I've struggled I'm speaking healing from burnout and stress but I know that an Amy Cy's voice is in my head that yes I belong here and so do you all of you have stories so I want you to do what I want it I want us all to Proclaim it together so in front of you you have a sheet of paper and I want you to write I'm a Storyteller and I own it I want you to see it feel it believe it and we're going to do it together here so quickly write on that paper I'm a Storyteller and I own it and as you're doing that I want you to really take into consideration and the markers are at the end of the pews there uh take into consideration that stories are treasure troves they have the power to transport our heads to the audience's hearts they're a means of self-expression and it's a means of really owning your truth and sharing it unapologetically because we learn from what you learn and we do so through stories so I created this to be visible um and say I'm a Storyteller and I own it so I would love all of us at the counter three stand up and I want you to hold up your signs with me and we're going to say I'm a Storyteller and I own it you ready one 2 3 Let's stand up I'm a Storyteller and I own it all right what I want you to do is to keep this sign and take it with you and to start sharing stories not only personally with your friends and family but out in spaces that can make change you know one of my favorite children's books is Kobe yamada's what do you do with an idea the author takes us on this journey of this little boy who creates an idea experiments with it plays with it Page by Page we watch this little boy as people are questioning his idea judging it critiquing it and yet that little boy pursues it he keeps going and he he germinates this really cool idea and it blossoms into something great what can you do by finding your voice and being open to sharing your story you can change the world thank you