The Power of Lived Experience to Drive Activism | Payzee Mahmod | TEDxHultLondonWomen
[Music] thank you what if I told you that you can change the world that every one of you has that power I mean that everyone in this room has a voice a unique voice that can help make this world a better place it's me in December 2019. I was on a stage very similar to this one but just six months before that I was a completely different person I had very little understanding of the power of my voice and back then I didn't know that I could be part of something bigger that could change the world and so instead of facing my past and traumatic experiences that shaped my life until today I run away from them for years family came from Iran to London when I was 11 years old me my four sisters my brother and my parents and as a young Kurdish girl arriving in this country I was full of dreams I was so looking forward to making this world my playground learning and exploring as much as I could and I guess you could say my life was like that for the first few years I went to school for the first time and I learned to speak English and I also discovered my love for music fashion and art my parents however they very quickly started worrying about what this new environment meant for their children especially their daughters and this fear they had would go on to shape our lives in ways that I could have never imagined with tragic life-changing events by the age of 11 me and my sisters had experienced female genital mutilation a non-surgical procedure with the female genitals are cut or injured and one of my older sisters was taken into social care and by the age of 16 I was coerced into a child marriage to a man almost twice my age just as my sister banaz had been a year before me now the next two years of my life are without a doubt the furthest thing that the 11 year old child in me had when she came to this country me and my sister Bernard just wanted a happy and safe life away from all of the suffering on the contrary all of our dreams and aspirations Came Crashing Down when in 2006 my sister benaz was murdered for leaving her child marriage in a so-called honor killing I saw my father my uncle and three men sentenced to life imprisonment in a landmark case in UK history now in the midst of all of this and with the police focus on the wider family I managed to finally leave my abusive marriage even then I feel like my sister was the one who saved me and even though I was free for the first time in a long time I felt like I was the one in prison because what do you do after all of these life-changing events do you run and hide and pretend like it never happened because that's exactly what I did and then one day I saw a news report in the media and it was about a middle eastern girl who was also a victim of a so-called honor killing and her case was so similar to my sisters they were both failed by the police and the Very people that are supposed to love them I knew in that very moment that I couldn't run and hide anymore and this sick feeling that I had in my stomach quickly turned into a fire a blazing fire that I couldn't ignore so I started looking at how I can get involved with organizations who help girls like me and my sister and that's when I remembered that during my sister's trial at the Old Bailey there was a charity and they campaigned relentlessly for justice they're called icro women's rights organization and they support middle eastern North African and Afghan women and girls who are at risk of so-called honor-based abuse so I contacted them and they told me that at the time they had a live campaign to ban child marriage in England and Wales and this was perfect timing because child marriage had ruined my life and taken my sisters now I had the opportunity to be part of the solution you may or may not be aware but the legal age for marriage in England is 16 with parental consent it is this law that enabled my father to marry both me and my sister as children as has happened to thousands of other children in this country globally every year at least 12 million girls are married before the age of 18. that's 28 girls every minute through icrow women's rights organization I started to share the harms of child marriage in the media and at events and for the first time I asked myself could it be possible that sharing my story and the one of my sisters could show this nation that child marriage is happening and how harmful it is could speaking out really make a difference and I finally started to realize that even if it meant reopening wounds that I had never closed before this was the beginning of my healing Journey so the mission was clear changed the current law and ban all forms of child marriage but how are we going to do that today I'm going to share with you three tools that made this campaign successful and this law change possible this thing stories matter I realized that talking openly could bring light to the issue and most importantly it could help others like me because people didn't know about child marriage the most common reaction I heard was disbelief with people saying how can this happen here in the UK but it was happening in plain sight I started making use of the spaces that I had access to and the audiences from young people to professionals sometimes even complete strangers on public transport when I would be holding my campaign poster and they would ask about it foreign stories help us to connect with our emotions and they can Inspire us to act to bring about change in our society and stories engage people at every level not just in their minds but in their emotions values and imaginations the drivers for real societal shifts and so if we want to transform our society we have to listen and tell stories about the world that we want to create I talked about how my life did go what happened but also what could have happened I painted a clear picture of the childhood that I deserve to have that every child has the right to and often immediately when I spoke to people they thought about the children they know and love relating my story to their own life in some way now during the campaign we painted a clear picture that we envision a world without child marriage and it was important to paint an inspiring narrative that helped to connect with people's deepest motivations to ignite action aspiration for every child's future climate change poverty and gender equality are some of the most pressing issues right now and they are large and complex but we feel compelled to listen when we are included in the storyline issue was not so well known and talked about and somewhat taboo it was important to bring it to the public sphere to open up dialogue amongst professionals young people on and offline as well as decision makers the second tool was social media social media is a tool for societal change empowering individuals like me and you to lend our voices to causes we care about in just a matter of seconds I use my personal social media platforms to build an online community and to give my audience the chance to learn about the campaign and to also join the movement and although it took vulnerability I would often share videos of myself talking about the devastating harms of my experiences and how 16 years on I was still processing the trauma of being a child bride and I can tell you this is where allyship was born I connected with other survivors they told me their stories and that they wanted to join the movement and during covid-19 when the world came to a standstill my online community kept moving and growing like never before we created a hashtag Safeguard Futures banchard marriage and some social media assets to help amplify our mission especially during key moments in our campaign I was stunned by the exposure that we gained and the immense solidarity and action taken we created a petition which received well over a quarter of a million signatures and I saw very quickly how easy it was to reach people from all over the world we often received words of encouragement and supportive messages from our online community and this would often extend to outside of the UK now as part of putting a face to the issue I would share updates video updates about how the campaign was going I was always genuine with my reaction when we moved forward I was of course ecstatic and when we had setbacks I was devastated but whether it was sharing content or signing a petition my online community always came through and finally lobbying decision makers now you can imagine this is where all of the funds started for us so the first time I stepped in a room in Parliament it was to tell ministers why this issue was important to me and how it's affected me I thought of the law change and the law itself actually is quite complex but having the right support around me an illegal team made all the information so much easier to digest I started to learn about the process of a bill which in case you're not from the UK a bill goes through four stages in each house and if it makes it through all of those stages without an objection that's when law change happens and your bill receives Royal assent now when our bill was making its way through the House of Commons and the House of Lords MPS and baronesses passionately argued the issue they built a strong case as to why this change was crucial they added real life experience and quotes from me and they shared my sister's story the bill of course saw setbacks during covid-19 but we stayed motivated and anytime there is any time there is change there is negotiation but we knew exactly what we were willing to negotiate or not the truth is this law was outdated and we had to make sure that we include all forms of child marriage so that no girl is Left Behind we held decision makers to account and eventually we received full government backing I feel it goes without saying but I was so incredibly blessed to work with a group of individuals made up of a member of parliament a baroness a legal and a dream campaigns team as well as supporting organizations and so many individuals contributing in their own way Law changes don't happen very often especially through private members bills and so it is with a roller coaster of emotions that I share with you today the minimum marriage Age act will commence in February 2023 in England and Wells meaning that no form of child marriage can take place before the age of 18. and the ACT carries an extraterritorial element which means that no child can be brought in or taken out of the UK for the purposes of child marriage I never thought that sharing my story would mean anything to anyone but now that I've seen the impact that it's had and what it's helped to achieve I will continue speaking up and today I've shared with you a real and a raw example of what you can achieve by using your voice this is how I use my voice how will you use your voice thank you foreign