A Positive, Authentic Environment for Young Learners | Bella Brod | TEDxMiami Country Day School
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTI8rSHxJ90 Video ID: yTI8rSHxJ90 ============================================================ what does it truly mean to sport your child cultivating an emotional toolbox creating a positive productive and authentic environment for Young Learners two I always hated the number two second represents the first to lose the supporting role always being in the shadow second never felt quite good enough being a middle child meant I was sandwiched between Sophia and Jack two the number I despised it seemed to follow me everywhere hi I'm Bella broad a senior at Miami Country Day School and your typical middle child it's funny because I always align with the identity of being a middle child but never knew that I quite literally fit The Stereotype that is I'm a perfectionist who doesn't have to be asked one to do things I constantly ask questions and seek solutions to problems being a midle child has given me the backbone to always go push harder be better which is exactly why I'm standing here tonight okay let's switch gears by a show of hands how many of you are crime junkies AKA think you could easily be a CSI agent because you've seen every single True Crime documentary on Netflix or watched every episode of Criminal Minds you're not alone in that I too thought that I was some sort of Criminal Mind expert which is why the summer after my freshman year of high school I decided to take a course with UCLA titled decoding the Criminal Mind in this course we analyzed criminal Behavior tactics action and upbringing what came as no surprise was that every single criminal we studied all had one thing in common some sort of a traumatic childhood you see my love for psychology only Grew From there that way I started to become interested in what this cultivation of a future could be for these children I started to ask myself the question what's the difference between a 5-year-old and the criminals I was in the psychology course where's that disconnect how important is someone's childhood but perhaps the question that I'm still seeking to find the answer to Is how can we ensure that the Young Generation has the necessary tools to feel that they can Thrive succeed and be positive members of our everchanging society with that being said my sophomore year of high school I decided to be a part of the teach teaching extrm in the lower school for those of you who don't know xrm is a week in the upper school at Miami Country Day School where students can basically choose their own adventure they can go to Rome they can shark tag in the Bahamas but like I said I wanted to step inside the classroom so I did that I stepped inside this mcds kindergarten classroom and was greeted with vibrant colors the ABCs on the walls you know the one where it's a for apple b for banana so on and so forth It's funny because these kids treated me like I was some sort of celebrity merely because I was a teenager which normally isn't the type of response teenagers get when they enter a social setting but I digress working with kids made me ask these sort of questions like why is Maria reacting like this but been reacting like that and while it's obvious I've gone through kindergarten myself I was fortunate enough to see the flip side the teacher's perspective she explained to me that these kids are like wet clay easily molded into however we interact and respond to them they're clean slates they spend just as much time here at school with their teachers and Community than they do at home with their own families with that being said I learned that I loved working with kids and I had found a new passion for psychology with this course through UCLA so why not merge the two and jump into this NeverEnding Rabbit Hole of child psychology as I continued to merge these two worlds I was fortunate enough to work with lower school guidance counselor Miss daden she's taught me tips and tricks on how to respond to certain behaviors or handle challenging outbursts and ground a child during a difficult moment as I continued to work in school about this child psychology I was also doing my own research outside of school and I came across an imperative fact that I feel is essential to my speech tonight four is when your child gets a big picture view of the world they start understanding the differences between race sex and relationships they start to begin to feel empathy for others at least some of the time so I had now been propelled into this NeverEnding Rabbit Hole something that truly intrigued me I needed to learn more that middle child Instinct wasn't going to let me just take a seat sit an Idle No I had to take the driver's seat I had to take control of this car which is why as no shock this mle child Instinct again propelled me to take during probably the most stressful semester of high school my junior year second semester a course with Stanford University School of Medicine the course comprised of five units from birth to school developmental Milestones the parenting experience building peer connections challenging Behavior what it means and how to respond to it and supporting child mental health not only did this course give me a better idea of child psychology and how to interact with kids but what the root of a certain Outburst or tantrum could be and how positive and negative interactions can mold that clay at this point I realized that I'd only been focusing on a niche group of people a small population that was my Country Day Community kids that have similar backgrounds in order to expand my knowledge I needed to expand my demographic you may be wondering where is is she going with this how are we jumping from child psychology Stanford courses to Brazilian jiu-jitsu give me a second and I'll explain the summer after my junior year I began volunteering at a woman and children shelter this shelter is a safe haven from homes that usually stem from verbal mental physical abuse and exposure to drugs and alcohol no environment to raise a child during the summer of my visit consisted of chopping vegetables in the kitchen serving lunch interacting with them women and children in the Arts and classroom or planting flowers in the garden but like I mentioned Jiu-Jitsu how did we get there now during the year my visits look just a little different I started teaching a foundational self-defense class to to these women and children at the shelter I was thrown into Brazilian jiu-jitsu at age 9 by my dad because he knew that as a woman my reality necessitates a hyper awareness of my surroundings I needed to be able to rely on muscle memory to potentially save my life that one in three American women face some sort of physical violence or sexual assault in her lifetime i' had been given this gift of not only being able to physically protect myself but mentally and emotionally too how could I pay this gift forward like I mentioned I started this self-defense class at the women's shelter Jiu-Jitsu taught these kids not only self-discipline but respect honor compassion and kindness you see Jiu-Jitsu doesn't just exercise the body it exercises the mind leading me right back to my initial question of how can we ensure we're cultivating this emotional toolbox to ensure that these kids will be able to succeed and thrive in the future jiujitsu is just another important tool for that toolbox but again my demographics weren't super wide I needed to cover more ground that being said this past Thanksgiving I spent around eight weeks traveling to a rural orphanage inas here I used what I learned through my Stanford course by inter ship with Mella Cadena my actions in the kindergarten classroom to cultivate unique and Powerful connections with every single person I interacted with at the orphanage at this point I realized that I focused on 75% of my pie the emotional and intellectual side at the orphanage working with Miss Dela Dana the Stanford course the UCLA course and the kindergarten in classroom and the behavioral side teaching Jiu-Jitsu at the woman and children's shelter but that last 25% was integral to understanding the whole picture of what this umbrella of child psychology truly encompassed mental health with that being said I had the opportunity to become an intern for the good student a nonprofit organization led by believe it or not the professor that taught my CLA course Professor Joe dory's mission is to strive to help students everywhere the good student is endorsed by former APA president and Professor Ameri of psychology at Stanford University Dr Philips zardo who many of you may know as leading the Stanford Prison Experiment the good student provides a free anonymous online survey that prompts questions and then regurgitates personalized feedback to whatever that answer may have been I knew that this tool could be just another tool for that toolbox but how could I make it more applicable to my own Community with the help of the upper school guidance counseling team at Miami Country Day School and Professor Dory were able to tweak the good students original survey to make it more applicable to that of a high schooler at Miami Country Day some of the questions were as follows my family really tried to help me very strongly agree to very strongly disagree I get the emotional help and support I need from my family answers ranging again from very strongly disagree to very strongly agree we received over 390 responses from our upper school community and while the survey is anonymous for legal reasons I'm not allowed to see the answers but I can only imagine the Insight it gave the mcds faculty Administration and staff on how they have a heavy hand in shaping that wet Clay on how they are helping to cultivate those emotional toolboxes for these upper school students I get it I'm 18 I'm no professional in child psychology just yet but let me tell you what I've picked up along the way me you the person sitting next to you we often let the little things get swept under under the rug when it comes to interacting with kids whether it be three-year-olds or 18year olds kids like adults just want to feel heard kids must feel like someone is positively there to either validate them be patient and make them feel heard I myself come from an extremely supportive system at home and I'm extremely fortunate but the one person who's truly made me understand what it's like to feel heard is my mom my mom has shown me that there's no inadequacy in being numbered two that just because I wasn't a book in didn't mean I wasn't special moreover my mom showed me that in order to make me feel like I wasn't inadequate she canceled out the white noise and truly listened to what I was saying my mom showed me that I was always a number one in her book tonight I've introduced you to two numbers so far two as it relates to me being a middle child and four as it relates to the statistic given by West Australia's Health Department but let me leave you with one last number 30 those 30 seconds that you take scrolling on Instagram in the morning those 30 seconds that you use to update your LinkedIn page during lunch those 30 seconds seconds that you used to check the latest New York Times article imagine if you took those 30 seconds and paused for a cause the pause being those 30 seconds to listen to your child and the cause being not only your relationship with them but their future ensuring that we know that these kids have someone that's hearing them and someone that's listening to them will not only make make them positive productive and authentic members of society but will allow them to have the confidence to know they can assimilate into our everchanging world thank you