Rethink, Redefine and Redesign | Rajdeep Manwani | TEDxYouth@NavrachanaSchoolSama
The speaker advises rethinking fundamental life concepts—beauty, emotion, and time—using anecdotes to illustrate that true value lies in internal qualities, acceptance, and deliberate slowness. The central claim is that superficial measures fail because inner substance, patience, and perspective are the true drivers of experience and impact. The strongest evidence is the comparison between the initial inability to stop habits like thumb-sucking and the current modern necessity to master "weight training," which means learning to wait.
## Theses & Positions
- The concept of external appearance and beauty needs re-evaluation, asserting that true beauty emanates from within—the "inner beauty" or "actual charisma."
- Redefining emotions means recognizing that negative feelings are not caused by external circumstances but by one's internal reaction to them.
- The key to managing negative emotions is the "golden word" of acceptance: accepting uncertainty leads to adventure, and accepting another's progress leads to inspiration.
- The final concept to redefine is life itself, which is defined by how time is spent, demanding a move away from the "hurry sickness."
- True self-worth is built by continuously practicing the verbs: rethink, redefine, and redesign.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **Inner Beauty:** Beauty that emanates from within, such as charisma.
- **Golden Word:** Acceptance, which transforms difficult emotions (like fear, jealousy, frustration, irritation) into positive states (adventure, inspiration, persistence, tolerance).
- **Hurry Sickness:** A modern ailment characterized by constant haste, time poverty, and the tendency to feel guilty when relaxing.
- **Weight Training:** A metaphor for deliberately practicing the act of waiting.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Rethinking Beauty:** Shifting focus from physical attributes (sharp features, flawless skin) to the emotional connection, exemplified by a model who values how her husband "makes her feel beautiful."
- **Emotional Regulation:** The mechanism of recognizing internal response over external trigger; for example, the friend's anger over spilled coffee versus the friend's calm reaction to spilled coffee at a neighbor's house.
- **Acceptance as a Process:** Accepting heredity ("I can't understand why he's so bad at in academics") or the reality that an air conditioner might not work for three days teaches emotional resilience.
- **Redesigning Life:** Counteracting the "hurry sickness" by deliberately implementing periods of stillness, analogized to weights training, which allows for deeper appreciation of moments.
## Examples & Cases
- **Thumb Sucking Anecdote:** Mother's initial attempts (chili, bandages) failed until the father introduced the concept of *redefining* the situation by buying new clothes, which forced the habit to cease.
- **Physical Appearance Comparison:** Beautiful women cited include Mother Teresa (with a wrinkled face and a little hunch) and Mahatma Gandhi (with ears jutting out).
- **The "World's Ugliest Man" Magazine:** The model married to the man with facial patches/stumps stated, *"I don't care how he looks I only look at how much he cares and he makes he makes me feel beautiful."*
- **Sister's Pimples:** Sister initially saw pimples as beautiful, only for the grandmother to correct this by saying, *"no dhadi there is something more beautiful than pimples."*
- **The Friend's Coffee Incident:** Friend became upset shouting after coffee spill at home, but showed no emotion when the neighbor's wife spilled coffee, demonstrating the emotional control available.
- **The Hotel Waiter Incident:** The man screaming at the waiter repeatedly over AC temperature was forced to realize the AC was broken for three days, proving that repeated complaint was futile.
- **Department Store Queue:** Chaos and confusion resulted from a quarrel over the queue line; the speaker cautions against rushing, suggesting the alternative is slowing down.
- **Young Boys' Motorcycles:** When asked why they rushed, the boys initially said they could get home faster, but when pressed, admitted that going faster didn't impress the girls.
- **Grandfather's Example:** When the speaker lost eyesight, the grandfather constantly spoke loudly and clearly to the concerned friends so that the speaker could hear inside the room.
## Speakers & Context
- A speaker sharing personal life anecdotes to illustrate philosophical concepts about self-improvement.
- The initial story involves the speaker's father "rethink[ing], redefine[ing] and redesign[ing]" the solution to the speaker's thumb-sucking habit.
## Named Entities
- Mother Teresa (described as having a wrinkled face and a little hunch).
- Mahatma Gandhi (noted for his ears jutting out).
- The speaker's sister.
- The speaker's grandmother.
- The speaker's grandfather (who taught the speaker the value of clarity when blind).
## Numbers & Data
- Average individual time spent in front of the mirror trying to look good: **15 minutes**.
- Total time spent thinking about appearance: **80 to 90 hours**.
## Examples & Cases
- The father purchasing new clothes after the mother's distress regarding the thumb-sucking.
- The magazine cover featuring the "world's ugliest man" married to a beautiful model.
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The initial habit of thumb-sucking was resisted by the mother's efforts (chili, bandages).
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- The core advice is to *rethink* external concepts (beauty), *redefine* internal responses (emotions), and *redesign* daily habits (life/time).
- The speaker concludes with a directive: "just rethink redefine and redesign."
## Verbatim Moments
- *"my father truly knew how to rethink redefine and redesign"*
- *"can you rethink your concept of an external appearance or beauty"*
- *"is true beauty only about your external appearance... or is it something more"*
- *"i don't care how he looks i only look at how much he cares and he makes he makes me feel beautiful"*
- *"daddy you told me lies... no dhadi there is something more beautiful than pimples"*
- *"it's never the external circumstances it's what's within you which brings out your negative emotions"*
- *"the golden word is acceptance"*
- *"When you resist uncertainty it is fear but when you accept uncertainty it becomes an adventure"*
- *"accept the fact that there is something called heredity"*
- *"sickness in our today's world which is called the hurry sickness"*
- *"no redesign your life just slow down just a little bit"*
- *"how do you slow down... learn to wait"*
- *"Do nature hurry does the river hurry but it still reaches the destination"*
- *"i want you to do the same just rethink redefine and redesign"*