Transcript

Rethink, Redefine and Redesign | Rajdeep Manwani | TEDxYouth@NavrachanaSchoolSama

i had this very bad habit of sucking my thumb and my mother tried everything she put chili on my thumb she bandaged my thumb but nothing happened and she told my father the same problem my father said don't worry i'll solve this problem that very evening he bought a set of new dresses for me shirts and pants and my mother was livid she said what's wrong with you i told you solve the problem and you're rewarding him she said he said don't worry the problem will be solved the next day i wore the shirts they were excellent but when i wore the pants i was horrified because there were two sizes bigger than my usual size now the whole day i was pulling up my pants pulling up my fans and i forgot to suck my thumb my [Applause] my father truly knew how to rethink redefine and redesign so [Applause] but coming to today's world what do you actually rethink what do you actually redefine what do you actually redesign the first thing which i want to draw your attention is to can you rethink your concept of an external appearance or beauty we are bombarded by the media with all sorts of terms such as zero figures six-pack bleaching waxing nipping plucking tummy tuck and all this and all this makes us feel like imperfect creatures but do you know that an independent survey said that an average individual spends around 15 minutes in front of the mirror just trying to look good that means we spend nearly 80 to 90 hours just thinking about how we look but is true beauty only about your external appearance is it only about sharp features sensual bodies and pretty faces or is it something more don't you think that sometimes your beauty is what emanates from within that inner beauty that actual charisma which comes and we have examples of that mother teresa with a wrinkled face and a little hunch was one of the most beautiful woman mahatma gandhi with his ears jutting out was extremely beautiful and i want to tell you the same thing let's rethink the concept of beauty you know some years back i had read a magazine in which they had featured the cover page as the world's ugliest man and they had one man who had met with a gruesome accident his face was full of patches he had ears which were just stumps of flesh his nose didn't exist he didn't have eyebrows but the most catchy thing about that entire magazine was he was married to a beautiful model and one of the press reporters went and asked that model how do you feel being married to the world's ugliest man and you know what she said she said something so beautiful she said i don't care how he looks i only look at how much he cares and he makes he makes me feel beautiful and i think so real beauty is making another person feel beautiful i think so let us rethink this concept of beauty when my sister was young she had a lot of pimples on her face and she was feeling very awkward to go out one day my grandmother came to her and said you know beta your pimples are so beautiful so my sister said really daddy she said yeah really when i was young i always wanted to have pimples but i never got pimples my sister told really she said yeah they are really beautiful after that my sister went out wearing those pimples as a badge of honor she went around here and there after a few days my sister came back to my grandmother and she said daddy you told me lies she said what she said you told me the pimples are the most beautiful thing she said yeah she said no dhadi there is something more beautiful than pimples and my daddy said what my sister touched my grandmother's face and said wrinkles and i think so beauty is all about beauty is all about whether you can make another person feel beautiful so i want you to rethink the concept of beauty and say beauty doesn't lie in the eyes of the beholder it lies in the soul of the beheld let's [Applause] let's move to the next thing what do you actually redefine now we have so many crises around a war a pandemic your exams so many other things and you always say you are getting emotionally frustrated angry jealous and all those emotions you have become emotional wrecks i want you to redefine your emotions and what do you do every time i ask a person can you just redefine your emotions and he always says no sir how can i redefine so many external circumstances come to me and these external circumstances make me feel emotional make me get all those negative emotions but is it those external circumstances that bring out the emotions in you or is it what is inside you which brings out those emotions i have my friend and one day his wife dropped some coffee on him and she he was upset he shouted what's wrong with you you can't induce you're so clumsy i'm so upset i got married with you that same friend of mine when he went to the neighbor's house and the neighbor's wife dropped coffee no problem it's okay you can drop a little more now was it the coffee that brought out his emotions or was it what was inside him that brought about the emotions that's the big question it's never the external circumstances it's what's within you which brings out your negative emotions and the only way in which you can tackle these negative emotions is one golden word that golden word is acceptance don't you realize when you are twirled around and thrown around up and down in an earthquake you are scared but when that same thing happens in a roller coaster ride it becomes an adventure when you resist uncertainty it is fear but when you accept uncertainty it becomes an adventure when you resist another person's progress it becomes jealousy but when you accept another person's progress it becomes inspiration when you resist [Applause] you resist your failure it becomes frustration when you accept it it becomes persistence when you resist another person's behavior it becomes irritation when you accept it it becomes tolerant so the golden word you'll have to learn is accept and i've seen parents shout oh my son is so bad i can't understand why he's so bad at in academics accept the fact that there is something called heredity you have to accept it [Applause] i learnt this golden principle of acceptance from a waiter in a hotel i had gone once to a hotel and there were this man he was screaming at the waiter he was telling a waiter switch on the ac it's so warm he went and he told yes sir after some time you switch off the ac it's becoming cold again switch on the ac it's becoming so warm he made that way to do it five or six times when the waiter came to serve me on the table i asked him don't you get irritated this fellows told you six times to switch on the air conditioner and switch it off it also it doesn't make a difference sir i've accepted the fact it will why what happened sir actually air conditioner is not working for three days sir so just learn if you want to redefine your emotions just learn to accept now what do you redesign you rethought your external appearance you re defined your emotions now what do you redesign you redesign your life and life is nothing but the time which you spend let me explain this with an example a few months back i had gone to a departmental store and there was this huge line for getting the bill made and there was this lady who was in front of me she was fretting and fuming and suddenly the man came with a trolley and put it in front of her and she got absolutely she said what's wrong with you i was standing in this queue for so long why don't you he said no ma'am you also was in the wrong queue and they both entered into an argument and before i could realize this lady took out a packet of cream from her trolley and she sprayed it on that man my god there was so much chaos and confusion in fact those people from the department store had to clear up the people i don't know what happened to those two but i got so scared there were two people behind me i told them sir i'm not in a hurry if you want you can go in front sir but we are suffering from this sickness in our today's world which is called the hurry sickness we are all in a hurry we all have time poverty we actually are when we are doing something we are thinking of doing something else when we relax we feel guilty we take on more work we sleep less we wear busyness as a badge of honor as if we have to do everything in this world on our own no redesign your life just slow down just a little bit i've seen people go and press the lift button six times either the lift is going to come faster you'll be ringing you'll be ringing the bell of a house five times that poor fellows in the toilet he has to come out man wait wait for some time on the traffic signal you're honking and honking as if the traffic signal is going to get over faster as the time signal is going down your blood pressure is going up just wait just understand that that by hurrying up nothing is accomplished i've seen young children and young boys they go in such a hurry in their motorbikes and motorcycles and i ask them why no sir i can reach home five minutes faster you reach home five minutes faster but what will you do with those five minutes that's the question what will you do with those five minutes no you don't have no sir i can impress some girls sir when i go faster okay i asked some girls do you get impressed when these boys go fast they said no sir it doesn't make a difference i said why no sir we cannot see their face at all when they're going fast [Applause] just just slow down and how do you slow down remember all of you like to go to the gym for weight training now you have to learn another word weight training w-a-i-t just wait a little bit just wait a little bit here and there just wait give yourself two minutes just stop don't even do anything don't pause don't slow down stop for two minutes every day at least four times a day when you stop and wait wait for some time you will see that life gets so much more accomplished does nature hurry does the river hurry but it still reaches the destination does the plant hurry but it still blossoms its flowers in time does the tree hurry no but even then the fruits come on time so just naturally entering sit in nature for some time just look at the trees look at the rivers look at something and learn to wait for some time you redesign your life by redesigning what you think of time let me end with a small incident which happened when i lost my eyesight i was very very upset and i was sitting at home and there used to be a lot of my grandfather's friends who used to come and they used to say oh my god your grandson has become blind what's going to happen to him and in those days there wasn't so much of inclusion and my grandfather used to always tell them loudly and clearly and this changed my life and i want to bring out the concept of what i'm trying to tell by this he used to always tell them loudly and clearly so that even i could hear in my room what if my grandson cannot see the world there will be a day when the world will see my grandson [Applause] he he taught me to rethink my concept of external appearance and physical abilities he redefined my emotions and he redesigned my life so i want you to do the same just rethink redefine and redesign thank you so much