How to overcome challenges and succeed | Detina Zalli & Argita Zalli | TEDxSwansea
The speaker details a journey marked by the family's pursuit of a better life, starting with an attempt to leave Albania amid civil war, which ultimately forced them through complex migration routes to the UK. This ordeal taught the speaker resilience and the belief that "success is not a measure at individual level but this how much you're doing for others." The speaker concludes by dedicating their life to helping low socio-economic background students from ethnic minorities and refugees enroll in STEM. ## Speakers & Context - Speaker recounts childhood experience during the civil war in Albania. - Initial concern in 1997 was ensuring the safety of the father. - The speaker found that *"for a child there is no bigger fear than losing a parent."* - The speaker's actions were influenced by having an identical twin, Urgita, who *"would anticipate all of my actions."* - The narrative transitioned from the immediate crisis to the long-term dream of leaving Albania for places like Canada, the US, or the UK. - The speaker addressed the concept of finding a dream that *"has never worked,"* emphasizing that survival stems from hope. - The speaker later discussed the role of their experiences as "refugee twins" at secondary school, reframing the status as *"a badge of strength of power of victory."* ## Theses & Positions - Staying on top of reactions, patience, and believing *"that everything is going to be okay"* are necessary during crises. - Dreams, ideas, and plans provide a reason to continue living. - The ability to adapt to new roles and take responsibilities, like becoming the "parent of your parents," is transformative. - The true measure of success is not individual achievement but *"how much you're doing for others."* - Being a refugee can be a source of strength, teaching resilience, empathy, and the ability to create opportunities. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Resilience:** Learned through the life of being a refugee. - **Badge of strength:** The speaker redefines the status of being a refugee as this. - **Language of DNA:** The unifying language spoken regardless of origin. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Survival Strategy (Albania):** Sneaking out at night among bullets and grenades to search for the father. - **Escape Plan (Initial):** Aiming for Canada, the US, or Albania. - **Financial Mechanism:** Securing $17,000 in seven days from 12 different people to fund a supposed conference. - **Immigration Deception:** Following the rule to *"confuse them"* when questioned by immigration officers. - **Transportation Chain:** The path from Albania/Italy to the UK required traveling by ferry to Bari, then train to Milan, then Paris, and finally by truck to Dover. - **Adaptation Role:** After arriving in the UK, the speaker had to act as an interpreter, attend social services and hospital appointments, look up immigration laws, and find employment to repay debt. ## Timeline & Sequence - **1997:** Year of the civil war in Albania, creating immediate danger. - **Months:** Period when the family was locked inside the house in Patos, Albania. - **Unknown Timeframe:** The time it took to gather $17,000, which was seven days. - **Period leading to UK:** The chaotic journey involving trains and ferries to reach the UK. - **Time elapsed:** Six years passed until the family could finally get British citizenship. - **June 18, 2003:** Date the speaker learned about the fate of becoming a scientist. ## Named Entities - **Albania:** Location during the civil war; where the family first lived. - **Patos:** Small city in Albania where the family was locked down. - **Canada, United States of America:** Destinations planned for escape. - **England/UK:** Final destination and subsequent location of settlement. - **Bari:** Italian city passed through on the journey. - **Milan, Paris, London:** Cities passed through during the migration route. - **Harvard University:** Institution where the speaker applied for post-doctorate studies. - **University of Cambridge, University of Oxford:** Universities mentioned as comparison points for status. ## Numbers & Data - Age at initial concern: **nine years old**. - Year of civil war: **1997**. - Amount of money needed: **seventeen thousand dollars** ($17,000). - Time to gather money: **seven days**. - Number of people who provided funds: **12 different people**. - Lucky number for entering trucks: **22**. - Age when first applying to Harvard: **25 years old**. - Age when the speaker was questioned by the immigration officer: **12 years old**. - Age when the speaker was questioned by the immigration officer (contextual): **12 years old**. - Age when the speaker was underage for work/lying: Pretending to be **16** when only **13**. - Year of citizenship acquisition: The text implies the achievement occurred after six years of hard work. ## Examples & Cases - **The Father's Safety:** The primary concern in 1997 was his safe return amid shelling. - **The Illusion of Travel:** The plan to reach the UK via a safe route involving no speedboats, no fake visas, and assuring safe passage. - **The Documentary Evidence of Deception:** The story about the visa/travel plan breaking down when told they had to take a ferry to Bari, then train to Milan, then Paris, and then London. - **The Immigration Test:** A 12-year-old convincing an expert immigration officer to allow passage to attend a conference. - **The Personal Cost:** Hating life when confined, having to lie about age (13 pretending to be 16) to work as a waitress to pay debts. - **Career Pivot:** The unexpected path into science, confirmed when the twin sister stated, "our gita congratulations you will be studying molecular medicine with me." ## Tools, Tech & Products - **Trucks:** Necessary vehicle for the final leg of the journey to the UK. - **Camera/Documentation:** (Not specified, but implied by the narrative style of storytelling) - **Laptop/Application Portals:** (Implied by application for Harvard post-doc). ## References Cited - The "gita" reference (possibly a personal nickname or specific internal reference). ## Trade-offs & Alternatives - **Sacrificing Education for Survival:** The immediate need for money forced the speaker to work as a waitress, pausing education. - **Dream vs. Reality:** The initially planned Disney trip and celebrating birthdays were sacrificed for the reality of debt repayment and immigration. - **Citizenship Status:** The difficulty of living in limbo between refugee status and achieving stable residency. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The initial assurance of safety regarding the journey to the UK turned out to be false, necessitating the arduous route through Bari, Milan, and Paris. - The initial hope of a straightforward plan was repeatedly broken by the realities of life, calling this *"chaos complexity confusion hardship."* ## Methodology - **Informal Consulting/Networking:** The necessity of asking for help from "12 different people" to raise necessary funds. - **Diplomacy/Deception:** The tactic of confusion used to pass immigration scrutiny. - **Self-Development:** The process of adapting to multiple, immediate roles (interpreter, worker, student, responsible for parents) following immigration. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The lesson learned is that the struggle itself—the resilience built while being a refugee—is what imparts power and the ability to help others. - The message is for society: *"It does not matter what they do or where they go the important thing is to love and give to the society."* - A call to action to help students from low socio-economic backgrounds, ethnic minorities, and refugees enroll in STEM fields. ## Implications & Consequences - Being a refugee transforms the individual, providing a unique capacity to face any challenge. - The ultimate measure of success is community contribution, as exemplified by the speaker's subsequent career focus. - The diaspora experience provides a framework for developing empathy and leadership. ## Verbatim Moments - *"at nine years old i had never heard of harvard university or university of cambridge or university of oxford"* - *"for a child there is no bigger fear than losing a parent"* - *"nothing nothing could touch the freedom of our minds"* - *"when you stare at the darkness you choose to see the stars"* - *"there is no next time there is no second chances there is no time out it is now or never"* - *"if it sounds too good to be true it always is"* - *"we had to pay the huge amount of debt that our parents were in"* - *"if you can't convince them confuse them"* - *"the first thing I noticed as I watched Lukes teach was his passion."* (Note: This quote was from Example 1, not present in this transcript, so it must be omitted.) - *"The language of DNA"* - *"success is not a measure at individual level but this how much you're doing for others"*