The power of being a bit more you | Sarah Thomson | TEDxDeMontfortUWomen
The speaker argues that women must shed the cultural pressure to censor their authentic voices, citing examples from Little Women, and highlighting that women who embrace anger and raw emotion—like Hannah Gadsby—are uniquely powerful because they connect with people when they drop the prescribed rules. These women found their power by stepping outside limiting narratives to tell honest, emotional truths. ## Speakers & Context - Speaker: Unnamed speaker, providing personal narrative analysis. - Joe Elvin: Editor of *You* magazine; stated that men speaking their minds are seen as strong, while women doing the same are seen as difficult or annoying. - Scoville: Writer, director, and producer in the U.S.; spoke about the difficulty of containing emotions like frustration. ## Theses & Positions - Women are subjected to different standards than men when speaking publicly: men are seen as strong, while women are labeled difficult or annoying. - Women should stop fearing authenticity and stop being controlled by the fear of what might happen to allow themselves to be "a lot more you." - Emotional expressions (like anger or care) should not be suppressed or viewed as something to be ashamed of. - Authentic voices are necessary because they underpin legitimate storytelling; if the voice is hidden, the story is powerless. - Choosing authenticity, even when it invites backlash, is the path to true power and connection. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Authenticity:** Speaking in one's true, real, and emotional voice, rather than following expected social scripts. - **Emotional Gap:** The disparity where women are not allowed to be as authentic as men at work due to fear of social repercussions. - **Trolls/Backlash:** The anticipated negative reactions, ranging from "an unpleasant smirk in a meeting to a death threat on social media," when speaking authentically. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Emotional Suppression (Example: Little Women):** Learning to *control* or *not feel* one's anger, rather than addressing the source of the emotion. - **Emotional Channeling (Scoville):** Identifying that caring itself is not wrong and that suppression prevents acknowledging hurt or pain. - **Disruption of Narrative:** By telling raw stories (e.g., assault, trauma), speakers reject the "rules written by other people" and force a new, honest connection with the audience. ## Timeline & Sequence - **1868:** Contextualized through the book *Little Women*, where a mother advises controlling anger for "40 years." - **Adolescence:** Speaker's recollection of feeling angry and confronting the idea of spending time on something "unachievable and... pointless." - **Timeframe of Analysis:** The difficulty of balancing professional ambition with emotional expression over "decades." - **2014/2017:** Timeline of Hannah Gadsby's shift in career, beginning with *Nanette* (2018) and followed by the publication of *Unapologetic* (2017). - **2010:** Year *Renée* published *Why I Am No Longer Talking to White People About Race*, leading to the book's success. - **TEDx Houston:** Date of Brené Brown's talk on vulnerability. ## Named Entities - **Joe Elvin:** Editor of *You* magazine. - **Joe’s mother (Little Women):** Character controlling her anger. - **Scoville:** Writer, director, and producer in the U.S. - **Hannah Gadsby:** Artist whose show *Nanette* addressed trauma. - **Renée:** Author, associated with the blog and book *Why I Am No Longer Talking to White People About Race*. - **Brené Brown:** Speaker of the TEDx Houston talk on vulnerability. ## Numbers & Data - Duration of emotional suppression for Mrs. March: **40 years**. - Number of people who have watched Brené Brown's talk: **49 million**. - Book *Unapologetic* ranking: Reached **number one spot in the UK book charts**. ## Examples & Cases - **Little Women (Chapter 8):** Mother instructs Jo on controlling anger by saying, "I've been trying to cure it for 40 years and have only succeeded in controlling it." - **Scoville's realization:** "I cry because I care and I don't know how to stop caring." - **Hannah Gadsby's *Nanette***: Show stopped making jokes and instead told "unapologetic stories with truth and purpose" concerning internal trauma and physical assault. - **Renée's blog post:** Written at a "point of despair" after years of effort yielding "absolutely nowhere" when discussing race with white feminists. - **Brené Brown's TEDx Houston:** Speaker vowed to "drop the academic armor" and discuss vulnerability using personal stories. - **Success Pattern:** Three women (Gadsby, Renée, Brown) experienced their "power explode" after "stepping out of" the expected game/rules. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The existence of a perceived "emotional gap" (the pay gap analogue). - The backlash risk associated with authentic female voices: reactions can range from an "unpleasant smirk in a meeting to a death threat on social media." ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The audience is urged to "throw out the rule book" of public speaking and business. - Attendees must "find your voice and own your stage," being honest, truthful, real, and emotional. - If one feels the urge to express something deemed impolite or that might make one seem "bossy or aggressive or weak," this is the authentic voice to listen to. ## Verbatim Moments - *"why don't we as women speak authentically"* - *"how to not have my ideas in nor ignored in a meeting when i suggest them only to be adopted five minutes later when someone else usually a man repeated them"* - *"my voice is my tool"* - *"a man who speaks his mind is seen as strong a woman who does the same is difficult or annoying"* - *"cure it control it don't show it and possibly the worst of all learn not to feel it"* - *"what if joe's mother's anger is legitimate what if she's angry about something that she should be angry about"* - *"I cry because I care and i don't know how to stop caring"* - *"the emotion gap"* - *"when they're real and they contain emotions like pain or anger they connect with people"* - *"quitting comedy launched her comedy career"* - *"it's honest it's truthful it's angry it's real and it's emotional"* - *"i'm not going to give my usual talk i'm going to talk about vulnerability and perhaps more importantly i'm going to drop the academic armor"* - *"throw out the rule book"* - *"be honest and truthful angry real and emotional"* - *"If she's speaking your truth then let her out"*