Be The Best You | Tim Cork | TEDxYorkU
The speaker urges listeners to tap into their potential, drawing analogies from mythology, physics, and customer service to emphasize that continuous self-improvement and outward generosity are key to success. The central message is that one's internal state—the "wolf you feed"—determines life's success, and this is best exemplified by giving without expectation. Ultimately, the speaker claims life operates on the principle that "what you send out comes back... in abundance."
## Speakers & Context
- Speaker: Unidentified, delivering motivational talk.
- Rhetorical use of foundational quotes:
- *“What Lies Beneath us and what lies before us is small in comparison to what lies within us”* (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
- *“The greatest gift you can give to you is being the best you.”*
- The closing statement: *“life is an echo what you send out comes back if you send it out in abundance it comes back in abundance keeps coming back it bounces it ricochets.”*
- The speaker's purpose is to discuss personal growth, potential, and the philosophy of giving.
## Theses & Positions
- The self is split between two opposing forces, illustrated by the two wolves: one deceitful and arrogant, the other genuine, humble, and wise.
- The deciding factor in one's life outcome is *which wolf* one consistently feeds through daily actions and focus.
- The greatest gift to oneself and others is the act of *“being the best you.”*
- Self-belief and internal positive dialogue are crucial, comparing the necessity of mental maintenance to the oxygen mask procedure on an airplane.
- The individual must maintain excitement about their *“service,” “product,”* or any activity they engage in.
- True connection and success are built through surrounding oneself with people who will positively influence one's trajectory (the "dream team").
- Success is fundamentally predicated on the attitude of giving: *“what can I do for you.”*
## Concepts & Definitions
- **The Two Wolves:**
- Evil Wolf: Characterized by lies, deceit, rudeness, and arrogance.
- Good Wolf: Characterized by happiness, humility, generosity, genuineness, great wisdom, and abundance.
- **The Iceberg Metaphor:** Only 10% of an iceberg is visible above the surface; the 90% underneath represents untapped, deeper potential.
- **Net Giving:** A concept proposed by the speaker to replace "networking," focusing on actively asking and listening to understand how one can help others.
- **The Present:** Described as *“the only thing you can ever control,”* contrasting it with the unchangeable past and the unpredictable future.
- **Dream Team:** Defined as the people one "hang around with most of the time," as these people have a huge impact on one's character.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Self-Dialogue Programming:** The mechanism of continuously programming one's inner thoughts to be positive or negative, likened to programming a personal computer.
- **The Eagle Principle:** To achieve a higher state (like being an eagle), one must associate with, soar with, and learn from those who have already achieved it.
- **The Giving Cycle:** Giving initiates the process of receiving; starting with the attitude of asking, *"what can I do for you,"* begins the flow of abundance.
- **The Listening/Questioning Mechanism:** Controlling a situation is achieved not by speaking, but by asking good questions and actively listening.
- **The Echo Principle:** A statement regarding cause and effect: what is sent out will return in kind.
## Timeline & Sequence
- Sequence presented in the Cherokee chief story: Sitting before a fire $\rightarrow$ Identifying the internal conflict $\rightarrow$ The grandson questioning the outcome $\rightarrow$ The grandfather's answer directing focus to the self.
- Sequence of gift-giving in life: Giving $\rightarrow$ Receiving (Initiation).
- The chronological comparison of learning: Plan for the future (after learning from the past) $\rightarrow$ Being in the present (the key).
## Named Entities
- **Cherokee Chief:** Narrator figure in the parable.
- **Dr. Seuss:** Author cited for inspirational works.
- **Theodore Gil:** Philosopher mentioned for his wisdom.
- **Ralph Waldo Emerson:** Source of the opening quote.
- **Exuma, Bahamas:** Location used in the milkshake story.
## Numbers & Data
- **25,000 to 50,000:** Range of thoughts an average human has per day.
- **10% / 90%:** Proportion of an iceberg visible versus submerged.
- **98 and 3/4%:** Guaranteed success rate predicted by Dr. Seuss.
## Examples & Cases
- **The Wolf Parable:** The central illustration: the battle between the good (humble, generous) and evil (deceitful, arrogant) wolf, determined by which one the grandson feeds.
- **The Airplane Safety Demonstration:** The mandatory instruction to oxygen mask the person beside you (children/elderly) before addressing your own needs.
- **Milkshake Anecdotes:** The speaker describing how he gets a chocolate milkshake from various hotels—calling, asking for chocolate sauce/powder/vanilla ice cream to construct the milkshake when it's not standard room service.
- **The Milkshake Man:** Being called the "milkshake man" around the resort in Exuma because of his persistence in requesting the shake.
- **The Banana Addition:** The resort girls first suggesting a banana to make the milkshake "somewhat healthy."
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Oxygen Mask:** Used in the safety procedure analogy for self-care priority.
- **Latte:** Beverage ordered for the speaker's wife during the Bahamas trip.
- **Chocolate Milkshakes:** The recurring object symbolizing anticipating and fulfilling needs.
## References Cited
- *“What Lies Beneath us and what lies before us is small in comparison to what lies within us”* (Ralph Waldo Emerson).
- *“Oh! The Places You'll Go!”* (Dr. Seuss book).
- Theodore Gil (Philosopher).
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker addresses the perceived awkwardness of questioning people about their "conversation going."
- The speaker preemptively addresses the query, *"If I'm always give give give... how do I get?"* by explaining that giving initiates receiving.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- The primary action items are:
1. Be proactive about one's self-improvement ("How do you be the best you?").
2. Build a "dream team" of supportive, successful peers (the Eagles).
3. Practice "net giving"—listening and asking good questions—as the primary social skill.
4. Focus on giving in the moment ("be in the present").
- The ultimate goal is realizing one's full, abundant potential.
## Implications & Consequences
- Failure to develop self-awareness leads to internal conflict (the wolves).
- Over-reliance on external validation (like remembering a gift) suggests a lack of inherent self-worth.
- The philosophy implies a continuous feedback loop where positive output guarantees positive input.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"What Lies Beneath us and what lies before us is small in comparison to what lies within us."*
- *"the one you feed which wolf are you looking at every day."*
- *"it's like an iceberg it's a great metaphor see 10% of the icebergs on the surface 90% of the iceberg is underneath the surface."*
- *"you have to put that oxygen mask on you first."*
- *"on an average day the average human has anywhere from 25,000 to 50,000 thoughts a day."*
- *"I touch Inspire and move."*
- *"if you want to be an eagle you got to hang with the Eagles you got to soar with the Eagles you got to fly with the Eagles."*
- *"ask the Eagles anything you want to do anything you want to be anything you want to see people are already doing it or they've done it before go to the Eagles ask them."*
- *"Theodore gel... is one of the greatest philosophers that ever lived"*
- *"congratulations today is your day you're off to great places you're off in away you have brains in your head you have feet in your shoes you can steer yourself any direction you choose"*
- *"give give and it's an attitude"*
- *"the present is the key"*
- *"double up on the ear quotient and listen four times as often as you speak"*
- *"I like to call it net giving."*
- *"what you send out comes back if you send it out in abundance it comes back in abundance keeps coming back it bounces it ricochets."*