Dossier

Find the story you want to be | Bisila Bokoko | TEDxKLU Hamburg

The speaker argues that overcoming personal and cultural hurdles requires actively "changing your narrative" from victim to creator, citing her own journey from Equatorial Guinea to become an entrepreneur who founded the Villa Africa literacy project. She provides actionable techniques like adopting an "adaptative identity" and practicing "scripting" to empower others to become "map makers" of their own lives. A key anecdote supporting this is the story of Paul, a nine-year-old Masai boy in Kenya who achieved his dream of becoming a pilot due to the power of books.

## Speakers & Context
- Speaker: Self-identified as being from Spain, but with deep roots tracing back to Equatorial Guinea.
- Context: Responding to repeated questions about her origin and background, particularly regarding her language skills.
- Speaker's personal background established:
    - Great-grandmother, Da Par, born in Equatorial Guinea.
    - Da Par fled domestic violence in the late 50s to Spain to study.
    - Da Par established the school *Wiso Epola* in Equatorial Guinea.
    - Speaker's mother was a student of Da Par's who went to Spain to become a nurse.
    - Speaker's father (grandson) went to Spain in the 70s to study law.
    - Speaker was born in Spain in the mid-70s.

## Theses & Positions
- The core power lies in the ability to decide how one lives, as one cannot choose where one is born ("you cannot decide where you born, but you can decide how you live").
- Education provides opportunity and choices, though it may not guarantee success.
- The most significant obstacle to personal success is the internalized view of being a victim of circumstances.
- An individual has the agency to "change your narrative" from being a victim of circumstances to being the creator of their life.
- The ultimate goal is to become a "map maker"—to create one's own path rather than searching for a pre-existing map.
- Fear is not the absence of bravery; rather, it is *“to do it with fear.”*

## Concepts & Definitions
- **Wiso Epola:** The school created by the great-grandmother, Da Par; "Eola means women raise up."
- **Adaptative identity:** The ability to evolve, demonstrated by Steve Jobs' shift from a college dropout to a technology visionary.
- **Narrative agency:** The ability to actively construct one's own life stories.
- **Future literacy:** The capability of visualizing and seeing the future before it happens.
- **Cultural intelligence:** A specific asset the speaker identified as valuable for international business, especially in international arenas.
- **Double immigrant:** Speaker's status, reflecting immigrant status on both her parents' and her own level.

## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Storytelling/Narrative Shifting:** The process of consciously changing one's perspective from one dictated by external circumstances (victim) to one dictated by internal will (creator).
- **Immigration and Education:** The family lineage of moving to Spain for education (Da Par, mother, father) and subsequent educational attainment (law, economics, MBA).
- **Career Progression (Initial):** Following conventional paths: studying law/economics $\rightarrow$ struggling with job applications $\rightarrow$ realizing the limitation of traditional credentials.
- **Career Progression (Shift):** Pivoting focus from job searching to identifying unique strengths (cultural intelligence) and positioning oneself as an asset for international organizations.
- **Entrepreneurship Genesis:** Recognizing the necessity of self-reflection ("what for me") after being fired from the Spain US Chamber of Commerce, leading to viewing self as an entrepreneur.
- **Initiative Taking:** Moving from being passive recipients of opportunity to actively asking people for help, exemplified by approaching the general manager in the elevator.

## Timeline & Sequence
- **Late 50s:** Da Par runs away from a marriage of domestic violence to Spain.
- **Unknown Date:** Da Par creates *Wiso Epola* in Equatorial Guinea.
- **Mid-70s:** Speaker is born in Spain.
- **Childhood Insight:** Speaker realizes she is black when pointed out by a teacher, leading to the first internal confrontation with racial identity.
- **Early Life Education:** Parents give the speaker books to understand the scars of slavery and colonization, preparing her for a global African identity, not just a European African one.
- **Adult Studies:** Speaker pursues law and economics, completing everything "by the book," culminating in an MBA.
- **Career Obstacles:** Spends months job hunting without success; encounters phone calls where recruiters cannot place her background/accent.
- **Turning Point:** Reading *Real Magic* by Wine Dire prompts the realization that she must change her narrative.
- **Professional Breakthrough:** Applying her recognized cultural intelligence leads to employment with an organization promoting overseas business, resulting in a move to New York.
- **Peak Role:** Becomes executive director of the Spain US Chamber of Commerce; leads a diverse boardroom of 38 men.
- **Setback:** Fired at 3 p.m. on a Friday.
- **Re-evaluation:** Self-reflects on arrogance; concludes the process must be aligned with what she truly is, leading to entrepreneurship.
- **Ghana Trip:** Arrives at age 35, witnesses the need for literacy, and starts the Villa Africa literacy project.
- **Personal Growth Cycle:** Adopting the framework of adaptability, scripting, and visualization.

## Named Entities
- **Da Par:** Great-grandmother.
- **Equatorial Guinea:** Country of Da Par's birth.
- **Spain:** Country where Da Par moved to study and where speaker was born.
- **Barcelona:** City where Da Par studied.
- **Wiso Epola:** School founded by Da Par.
- **Paul:** A nine-year-old Masai boy in Kenya.
- **Kenya:** Location of Paul.
- **Masai Mara:** Region where Paul lived.
- **Wine Dire:** Author of the book *Real Magic*.
- **Steve Jobs:** Person cited regarding adaptive identity.
- **Ghana:** Location of speaker's first visit back to Africa.
- **New York:** City where speaker secured a key position.

## Numbers & Data
- Da Par's birth continent: **Africa**.
- Wiso Epola's intended outcome: **women** gaining choices through education.
- Speaker's age at birth: **Mid-70s**.
- Speaker's parents' age when she was born: **22 years old**.
- Boardroom composition: **38** men, with the speaker being the youngest.
- Literacy project founder: **Villa Africa literacy project**.
- Paul's age: **nine years old**.

## Examples & Cases
- **The Teacher Confrontation:** A boy in class cries, "No no no no don't send me with her. I don't want to be black like her," leading to the speaker being called "black."
- **Parental Advice:** Parents tell the speaker, "Look in the mirror. What color are you?" — prompting her to state, "Brown, not black."
- **Paul's Achievement:** Paul, a Masai boy from the Masai Mara, achieved his dream of becoming a pilot after being exposed to books.
- **The Elevator Encounter:** Speaker approaches the general manager on her first day, asking, "What did you do to be a director?" leading to her recommendation.
- **Chamber of Commerce Position:** Being hired to represent the "really tiny region in Spain to just the whole country" level, while the relationship between Spain and the US was changing.
- **Literalizing the System:** Speaker's final analogy: "When you are lost and when you are trying to get a map but why if instead of trying to find one you create one."

## Tools, Tech & Products
- Books: Used extensively as "nannies, my teachers, my psychologist."
- Typewriter: Mentioned as a necessary piece of equipment for older application processes.
- Computer/Online Search: Implied context when mentioning finding information ("if I opened up Google" style, though Google was not named).

## References Cited
- *Real Magic* by Wine Dire.
- Biographical works on African people.

## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Traditional Path vs. Narrative Shift:** Choosing between the expected career path (actress, or law/economics) and the path created by identifying cultural intelligence.
- **Internal Struggle:** Choosing between conforming to perceived standards or asserting a true, complex identity ("I have the map of Africa on my shoulders").
- **Goal Setting:** Sacrificing immediate financial goals for the long-term systemic impact achieved through advocacy (founding the literacy project).

## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker acknowledges that simply having credentials ("I did everything by the book") is insufficient for career success.
- She admits to becoming arrogant due to the amazing position she attained ("I thought that I could do whatever I want").
- The initial struggle of being a "double immigrant" meant her primary drive was financial security and safety.

## Methodology
- **Self-Reflection:** The critical moment where the speaker stopped looking outward for answers and started asking, "what for me."
- **Skill Identification:** Analyzing her experience to realize her unique asset was "cultural intelligence."
- **Advocacy/Grassroots العمل:** Establishing the Villa Africa literacy project to provide foundational education resources in Africa.

## Conclusions & Recommendations
- **Three Essential Capabilities:**
    1. **Adaptative Identity:** The ability to evolve (e.g., Steve Jobs).
    2. **Narrative Agency:** The decision to be the author, not just the actor, of one's life.
    3. **Future Literacy:** The capacity to visualize the future before it happens.
- **Techniques for Change:**
    1. Identity Shifting: Identifying admired traits in others and realizing they are inherent within oneself.
    2. Scripting: Writing the desired life story.
    3. Visualization: Mentally rehearsing success (e.g., visualizing being on stage).
- **Daily Action:** Going to bed with a smile, and if the smile is gone upon waking, going back to sleep.

## Implications & Consequences
- The personal experience of the speaker demonstrates that cultural background and lived experience can become the most valuable, hard-to-replicate professional asset (cultural intelligence).
- Systematic educational intervention (like the literacy project) can provide a concrete pathway for marginalized youth to realize their potential.

## Verbatim Moments
- *"I cannot decide where you are born, but you can decide how you live."*
- *"Eola means women raise up."*
- *"I was called black."*
- *"Look in the mirror. What color are you?"*
- *"I have the map of Africa on my shoulders."*
- *"Books became really my nannies, my teachers, my psychologist."*
- *"The biggest enemy of success is arrogance."*
- *"Fear is not the absence of being brave is to do it with fear."*
- *"with a book you're never alone."*
- *"I could change my narrative from being being you know the victim of the circumstances or start to being the creator of my life."*
- *"what is the question that you are left with? What is it that you want to know?"* (Implied question guiding focus).
- *"I think you need to go every night to bed with a smile And if you wake up in the morning and D smile is not there, go back to sleep."*