It's Not Just What You Say... | David Beard | TEDxLancaster
The speaker argues that personal change and positive impact begin with controlling one's own spoken word through conscious practice. He models this by adopting a mantra, *“every day and every way I get better and better,”* and recommends that educators and parents proactively flood children's minds with positive affirmations to counteract negative external influences. The core mechanism involves using affirmations to overload the subconscious mind until positive beliefs become internalized realities. ## Theses & Positions - People working with children often share the goal of changing lives and fostering success, but this is a difficult task. - True control for creating impact resides solely within oneself: *"we really only have control over ourselves."* - The spoken word holds immense power to alter self-perception and reality, functioning through the subconscious mind translating desire into physical equivalents. - Building self-confidence requires actively affirming positive things about oneself. - For children, preemptively loading them with positive messages can make their minds so strong that negativity cannot touch them. - Creating positive change requires three practices: 1) Building self-confidence by saying good things to oneself; 2) Pouring positives into children's minds; and 3) Practicing the 7-to-1 rule by sincerely appreciating others. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Auto suggestion:** Defined as the subconscious mind translating desire into its physical equivalent directly and practically; if stated enough, the brain finds a way to make it a reality. - **Brainwashing (Spoken Word context):** Described as *"cleaning and washing out all the negative junk that may be inside your head simply by overloading it with positives."* - **7-to-1 rule:** The observation that it takes seven positive comments to overcome one negative comment. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Self-Improvement Cycle:** Repeating a chosen mantra (e.g., *“every day and every way I get better and better”*) to move the belief from conscious thought into the subconscious mind. - **Belief Overwriting:** Using consistent, positive repetition (as done with children) to build a mental fortress that resists negative input. - **Impact Amplification:** The speaker advocates that positive communication must be delivered with belief and emotion, noting the difference between *what* is said and *how* it is said. ## Timeline & Sequence - **1930s:** Publication of *Think and Grow Rich* by Napoleon Hill, which compiled over 500 interviews with wealthy people. - **Day-by-day practice:** Beginning the mantra practice daily, escalating from simple repetition to recorded practice. - **At 13 weeks into pregnancy:** The speaker began the routine of speaking affirmations to his wife's belly. - **Ongoing routine:** Establishing a nightly ritual with his three children (Brooks, Keegan, and Everly) involving reading, prayer, and positive affirmations. ## Named Entities - **Napoleon Hill:** Author of *Think and Grow Rich*. - **Andrew Carnegie:** Steel tycoon interviewed by Napoleon Hill. - **Brooks, Keegan, Everly:** The speaker's three children. ## Numbers & Data - **1930s:** Decade when *Think and Grow Rich* was written. - **500:** Number of interviews used to compile *Think and Grow Rich*. - **Seven times:** Average number of times a message must be heard before people buy into it. - **7 to 1:** The ratio cited for overcoming negative comments (seven positives for every one negative). - **13 weeks:** When the speaker started speaking affirmations to his wife's belly. ## Examples & Cases - **Marketing study:** Finding that messages require an average of seven hearings before purchase commitment. - **Mantra development:** Choosing the phrase *“every day and every way I get better and better.”* - **Vocal delivery refinement:** Discovering that the *way* a statement is delivered is as critical as the statement itself, leading him to practice in the mirror. - **Parental Affirmations:** The detailed, specific nightly affirmations given to his children, covering themes like competence, strength, love, and character (e.g., *"you are persistent consistent tenacious outgoing"*). - **Educational application:** Seeing teachers use the spoken word in classrooms to reinforce positive messages. ## Tools, Tech & Products - **Recordings:** Used to test his own voice and pacing during mantra practice. - **Microphone:** Used conceptually, mimicking the act of speaking affirmations into his wife's belly. ## References Cited - *Think and Grow Rich* by Napoleon Hill. ## Counterarguments & Caveats - The speaker admits this talk lacks a "fancy ending" or concrete proof that he has made a world-altering impact; his change is internal to him. - Sometimes the nightly routine with his children is difficult, requiring him to simply keep it short or repeating phrases when exhausted. - Some nights, the children do not seem to care or listen to the affirmations. ## Methodology - **Content Creation:** Using personal experience, rooted in the principles of self-suggestion, to develop a method for behavioral change. - **Test Phase 1 (Self-Correction):** Recording and analyzing own voice patterns to improve delivery, discovering that *how* one speaks matters. - **Test Phase 2 (Family Application):** Implementing daily, ritualistic affirmation sessions for children to build cognitive defenses against negativity. - **Recommendation Framework:** Proposing a three-part actionable system for improving personal and communal dialogue. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - To inspire change, start with the self: determine what you want to be. - If working with children, consistently use positive affirmations to mold their minds. - When working with people, practice the 7-to-1 rule by sincerely vocalizing appreciation for others' capabilities. ## Implications & Consequences - Consistent practice of these three principles leads to an inevitable, positive trajectory of "inspiring change." - Failure to act on these principles means one remains susceptible to external negativity and self-doubt. ## Verbatim Moments - *"we really only have control over ourselves"* - *"Auto suggestion"* - *"the subconscious mind translating desire into its physical equivalent directly and practically"* - *"it takes people an average of seven times of hearing the message before they actually buy into something"* - *"every day and every way I get better and better"* - *"it's not just what you say it's also how you say it"* - *"seven to one it takes seven positive comments to overcome one negative comment"* - *"you're a champion you're a winner you're a superstar"* - *"you have integrity high standards and high morals"* - *"if you're consistent with them I believe you are going to be inspiring change"*