You Are More | Amanda Hadden | TEDxYouth@DinosaurPark
Amanda Haden, a resident of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation, argues that self-worth—a deep, internal knowing of one's value—is the foundation for a fulfilling life, rather than self-esteem, which is based on external validation. She illustrates this by noting that social media and comparison are negative forces that undermine self-worth, urging listeners to recognize their inherent value regardless of external critique or struggle. This realization, she concludes, allows individuals to define themselves independently of others' opinions or past trauma. ## Speakers & Context - Amanda Haden, resident of the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in South Dakota. - Addresses the high national suicide rate, noting the increase in Native American communities. - Speaks about self-esteem vs. self-worth, citing Dr. Christina Hiber. ## Theses & Positions - Self-worth is the core sense of one's inherent value, recognizing that one is *"greater than all of those things."* - Self-esteem is merely what one *"thinks, feels and believe[s] of ourselves,"* and it cannot sustain itself without underlying self-worth. - Belief in one's worth determines life actions: seeing oneself as worthy leads to pursuing dreams and education; feeling unworthy leads to settling or having no ambition. - Comparison is damaging, famously noted as *"the thief of Joy"* (Theodore Roosevelt). - Social media and external comparison are powerful forces that challenge inherent self-worth, making it easy to become defined by curated online presentations or others' words. - The assessment of self-worth is determined *solely by us*, not by others. ## Concepts & Definitions - **Self-esteem:** Defined as the satisfaction or confidence in oneself or self-respect. - **Self-worth:** Defined as the sense of one's worth and value as a person; *"a deep knowing that I am a value necessary to this life and of incomprehensible worth."* - **The comparison:** The act of measuring oneself against others' perceived success, beauty, or ability. ## Mechanisms & Processes - **Impact of Low Self-Worth:** Leads to inaction, such as never putting in an application or pursuing a dream. - **Influence of Social Media:** Platforms like Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram create a constant stream of curated glimpses into others' lives, leading to subconscious comparison. - **Shift in Word Power:** The old saying *"sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me"* is debunked; Proverbs 18:21 states that *"words kill and words give life."* ## Timeline & Sequence - **March 2015:** Loss of a friend to suicide in the community. - **January 2004:** Beginning of Facebook, illustrating the technological shift impacting society. - **Period of Childhood:** The speaker notes that as a child, she started knowing she could be anything, but this began to change over time. ## Named Entities - **Pine Ridge Indian reservation** — location of the speaker and her family. - **Leah** — speaker's six-year-old daughter. - **Dr. Christina Hiber** — psychologist and author of *This Is How We Grow*. - **Theodore Roosevelt** — attributed with the phrase *"comparison is the thief of Joy."* - **Mark Zuckerberg** — founder of Facebook. - **Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram** — social media platforms cited. ## Numbers & Data - Loss of friend to suicide: **16 years old**. - National suicide rate status: *"at an all-time high in the last 30 years."* - Leah's age when speaking: **six years old**. ## Examples & Cases - **The Preschooler Test:** Asking preschoolers if they are good singers or artists; the expected answer is "probably all of them," illustrating inherent childhood self-belief. - **Daughter's Ambitions:** Leah wanting to be a gymnast, ballerina, teacher, and baker, showing ambition even at age 6. - **Speaker's Past Ambitions:** Speaker wanting to be a veterinarian, an actress, a mom, and an hair stylist. - **Social Media Culture:** Using social media to *hide behind words* or posting anonymously, creating environments for cyberbullying, where words are no longer contained in person. - **Resilience Examples:** Being more than addiction, abuse, trauma, or past mistakes. ## Tools, Tech & Products - **Facebook, Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram:** Social media platforms cited for comparison and public display of life. ## References Cited - **Dr. Christina Hiber:** Author of *This Is How We Grow*. - **Theodore Roosevelt:** Quoted source of the comparison maxim. - **Proverbs 18:21:** Scriptural citation stating that *"words kill and words give life."* ## Counterarguments & Caveats - Sometimes, people *need* the reminder that self-worth is not determined by others, even if intellectually understood. - The potential for abuse or addiction does not define a person's totality. ## Conclusions & Recommendations - The speaker urges young girls globally to embrace who they are and to proclaim that *"you are more."* - An active choice must be made daily: to believe in one's worth or to allow others to define it. - Fight back against negative influences on social media and in life to affirm inherent value. ## Implications & Consequences - Allowing others to define you leads to suppressing your true self, leading to potential depression or inability to act. - Understanding self-worth as primary can liberate an individual from the trauma of abuse, mistreatment, or failure. ## Verbatim Moments - *"self-worth is recognizing that we are greater than all of those things"* - *"self-esteem simply does not last or work unless we have self-worth"* - *"if we see oursel as worthy we will pursue that dream"* - *"the comparison is the thief of Joy"* - *"words kill and words give life"* - *"you are more than addiction more than abuse more than what the world tells you to be"* - *"we have two choices to make every day we can choose to believe in who we are and that we are worthy or we can allow others to Define that for us"*