You Are More | Amanda Hadden | TEDxYouth@DinosaurPark
[Music] [Applause] hello my name is Amanda Haden my husband and I and our three children live on Pine Ridge Indian reservation in South Dakota we love our children and obviously we want them to reach their full potential and to have faith and believe in themselves in March of 2015 we lost a dear friend to Suicide she was 16 years old if you read the news or even the New York Times article published just yesterday it states that the national suicide rate is at an all-time high in the last 30 years it has reached um highs in women and in Native American communities when we lost our friend to Suicide it changed us and I knew that we had to do something for her for the other girls in my community for my own daughter and for anyone who has ever doubted themselves most of you are probably familiar with the term self-esteem self-esteem is defined in the dictionary as the satisfaction or confidence in oneself or self-respect for many of you you may think that self-worth is another term for self-esteem however they are defined as different ways that we view ourselves selfworth is the sense of one's worth and value as a person selfworth is a deep knowing Dr Christina hiber a psychologist and author of this is how we grow states that self-esteem is what we think feel and believe of ourselves self-worth is recognizing that we are greater than all of those things it is a deep knowing that I am a value necessary to this life and of incomprehensible worth it is possible to have high self-esteem yet not be convinced that we are worthy or lovable self-esteem simply does not last or work unless we have self-worth self-esteem or what we believe about ourselves is a good thing but what happens when we don't feel feel good about ourselves if our self-esteem is based totally on our success what happens when someone is more successful more beautiful does it then make us less important or less valued I believe selfworth or the understanding of our worth affects and impacts every decision that we make if we see oursel as worthy we will pursue that dream we will pursue that education we will not settle for unhealthy relationships or those toxic friendships if we believe our we if we believe we are worthy we can truly accomplish anything if we see oursel as unworthy on the other hand we will never put in that application we will never pursue that dream we will not thrive in our environment and we will have no ambition if we were to fill this Auditorium with preschoolers and ask them to raise their hands if they are a good singer how many of them would raise their hands probably all of them what if we asked if they were a good artist how many of them would raise their hands probably all of them why is that as children we are born knowing that we are loved and valued and worthy when I recently spoke to a group of uh Middle School girls on this very subject I asked them what factors in our lives change how we think of ourselves a few of them stated that people in their life tell them that they aren't valued either through their words or their actions this is my daughter Leah she is six years old she wants to be a gymnast ballerina teacher Baker and the list goes on on even at 6 years old Leah needs to be reminded that she can be and do anything that she wants because even at 6 she is aware of people and ideas around her as a child I wanted to be a veterinarian I wanted to be an actress a mom and an hair stylist the list went on for me too I started out knowing that I could be and do anything and somewhere along the way that started to change I started to doubt my potential for me and the some some of the girls that I have spoke to in my community comparison can be a negative influence Theodore Roosevelt said that comparison is the thief of Joy there will always be someone smarter more successful more beautiful more fit and if our self-esteem is based solely on how we measure up we will always struggle I know that to be true in my own life and I know that in our society the comparison has impacted us greatly it was January of 2004 when Mark Zuckerberg began creating a website called Facebook maybe you've heard of it we had no idea how it would impact our society today with Facebook Snapchat Twitter and Instagram and other social media sites we catch a glimpse into people's lives we get to see what their lives appear to be we catch a glimpse of their daily routine and we consciously or subconsciously compare ourselves to everything that we see online the media and the evolving world of social media tell us what we need to look like what we need to buy what we need to do and puts our lives on display for anyone to like or observe over the last few years it has become so easy to hide behind words on the screen some programs even allow you to hide under false names and post comments or pictures anonymously in neighborhoods and cities across the world teens and adults alike are leaving the workplace or school where they are bullied only to come home to the world of cyber bullying where anyone can say anything because after all they aren't saying it to their face right most of us were raised learning the phrase sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never harm me in today's world with the growth of social media and technology that is no longer true Proverbs 18:21 says that words kill and words give life it is either poison poison or it is fruit you choose in today's world where words are broadcast to Millions with one single click words can hurt and words do hurt and they can determine a lot in our life if we allow them to intellectually we all understand that our self-worth is not determined by others but we sometimes need that reminder we are all authors of Our Own Story and the assessment of our self-worth is determined solely by us not by others my hope is to encourage young girls all over the world to embrace who they are and to tell the world that you are more abuse can be something that happened to you but that isn't who you are addiction may be part of your story but that does doesn't determine in your life unless you allow it to that person that hurt you or did wrong to you they do not define who you become maybe you have a person in your life that tears you down at every turn speaks words into you that cut deep and makes you feel less than you are I am here to tell you that you are more than addiction more than abuse more than what the world tells you to be you are more than fear and anxiety more than past mistakes or failed relationships or marriages you are more than how others mistreat or misuse you you are more than their opinions of you and you are more than your insecurities you are more than whatever it is in your life that seems to overshadow who you truly are we have two choices to make every day we can choose to believe in who we are and that we are worthy or we can allow others to Define that for us I encourage you all to fight back on social media and to tell the world that you are more you are so loved so valued and so worth it thank you for listening