Your Story Matters | Lance Reidenbach | TEDxNEOMED
Ben O'Cree asserts that story-telling highlights fundamental human imperfection because true perfection offers no narrative conflict. He recounts his difficult journey from an Ohio rural town to overcoming struggles with academic rejection, emotional devastation, and mental health crises to achieve his medical and professional goals. His experience teaches that one must keep pushing forward through adversity because the best path is often unplanned.
## Speakers & Context
- **Ben O'Cree:** Nigerian poet and novelist; speaker sharing personal narrative about his difficult path to becoming a physician.
- Speaker's early life setting: An Ohio rural town with a population of approximately **300** people.
- Initial social context: Graduating high school class of **92** deeply interconnected people; experiences of feeling out of place (e.g., being the only male in the soccer team).
- Initial education move: Moving to a city with **20 times** the population of his county.
- Mid-career struggle: Entering the competitive pre-med world, facing "overwhelming pressure for perfection."
- Later life challenges: Waiting for acceptances from medical schools, becoming a "purse with multiple backup plans."
- Counseling revelation: Learning that societal pressure enforces an expectation for men to be emotionless.
- Final period: Completing his master's degree while working part-time and doing post-baccalaureate coursework.
## Theses & Positions
- Story-telling reflects a *fundamental human unease* or imperfection, as perfect lives lack narrative conflict.
- It is acceptable to feel like an outsider; there is a world where belonging can be found.
- Perfectionism, especially in medicine, leads to constant falling short, discouragement, and overwhelming pressure.
- Emotional vulnerability is healthy; crying is cathartic, countering the societal pressure to be emotionless.
- The best path in life is often one that is not initially mapped out; continuing to push forward through adversity leads to unexpected success.
- Three main life takeaways: (1) It is okay to be sad and to cry; (2) It is not a weakness to ask for help; (3) People enter and leave lives for a reason.
## Concepts & Definitions
- **First generation college student:** Student whose parents did not attend college.
- **Overwhelming pressure for perfection:** The emotional strain encountered while striving for academic and career excellence.
- **Cathartic:** A process by which emotional release (like crying) can cleanse or purify.
- **Unbiased third party:** An external perspective (like a counselor) needed to identify personal blind spots and areas for improvement.
## Mechanisms & Processes
- **Seeking Belonging:** Moving from the isolated rural setting to the diverse urban campus environment.
- **Academic Struggle:** Failing to secure medical school acceptances, leading to a reliance on backup plans (graduate programs).
- **Emotional Crisis:** Experiencing devastation following the loss of a first love and subsequent mental health crisis.
- **Therapeutic Intervention:** Scheduling a counseling session with an unbiased third party to process feelings of failure and societal emotional restriction.
- **Career Pivot:** Shifting focus from initial medical school goals to pursuing an MPH, learning about urban healthcare challenges.
- **Advancement Strategy:** Utilizing support from a mentor to continue studying for the MCAT and securing a post-baccalaureate position.
## Timeline & Sequence
- Early life: Ohio rural town (population approx. **300**).
- High School: Class of **92**.
- College Start: Moved to a city with **20 times** the county's population.
- Early Adulthood: Years awaiting medical school results; work as a bank teller; relationship breakdown.
- Crisis Period: Experiencing depression after personal losses; functional detachment (playing video games, crying).
- Turning Point: Co-worker recommending counseling; first counseling session.
- Mid-Journey: Continuing MCAT preparation while undertaking graduate studies.
- Achievement: Receiving acceptance email to the partnership program in the parking lot after the MCAT.
- Final Status: Standing on stage in his 28th year, having completed his MPH and post-bacc work.
## Named Entities
- **Ohio:** State where speaker’s early life was situated.
- **Miami:** Implied destination for university enrollment (implied by "city that had 20 times the population").
## Numbers & Data
- Population of hometown: Approximately **300**.
- High school class size: **92**.
- Ratio of current city population to hometown: **20 times**.
- Age when sharing takeaways: **28** years old.
- Number of main takeaways: **three**.
## Examples & Cases
- **Personal Isolation:** Being the only male in the class soccer team or one of six in the band.
- **Emotional Devastation:** The death of a first love, resulting in years of "messy" heartbreak.
- **Mental Health Crisis:** A best friend self-inflicting gashes on her arms, leading the speaker to confront the reality of suicide.
- **Professional Resilience:** Completing an MPH while simultaneously working part-time and doing post-baccalaureate coursework.
- **Mentor’s Influence:** A mentor sharing his own struggle story, which provided the necessary support to continue studying for the MCAT.
## Tools, Tech & Products
- **Map:** Used during the first weeks in college to locate classes.
- **Video Games:** Used as a coping mechanism during depressive periods.
## References Cited
- **Ben O'Cree:** Identified as a Nigerian poet and novelist.
## Trade-offs & Alternatives
- **Path of Perfection vs. Reality:** The perceived need for flawless academic success versus the messy, necessary journey of setbacks and emotional fallout.
- **Counseling vs. Isolation:** Choosing the structured help of a counselor over the numb pattern of work/games/crying.
- **Medical Focus:** Pivoting from the initial focus on medicine to the broader, applicable field of public health (MPH).
## Counterarguments & Caveats
- The speaker notes that his initial path to medicine was not the *best* path, suggesting linearity is not required for success.
- The difficulty of articulating the initial need for storytelling ("fundamentally human unease") suggests the truth was felt before it could be defined.
## Conclusions & Recommendations
- It is okay to feel sadness and to cry.
- Asking for help is not a weakness.
- Individuals and life events happen for a reason.
- General encouragement: Keep pushing forward and practice self-grace.
## Implications & Consequences
- The trauma and difficult experiences (tears, sleepless nights, unseen scars) are the sources of the current self.
- The realization that self-acceptance is key to moving forward.
## Verbatim Moments
- *"the fact of storytelling hints at a fundamental human unease hints at human imperfection"*
- *"there were many moments of feeling out of place and not belonging"*
- *"it is okay to feel like an other because there's a whole world out there in which you'll be able to find belonging"*
- *"I had to use a map just to find my classes"*
- *"the competitive world of pre-med seemed to want to swallow me whole"*
- *"I was placed on waiting lists with the hopes of being pulled off by a student taking a seat at another university"*
- *"I had never come that close to having someone i love take their own life and it shook me to the core"*
- *"crying is so cathartic and healthy and it is a societal pressure that we have placed upon men to be emotionless and in doing so appear strong"*
- *"if i had my way everyone would attend counseling on a regular basis because true healing occurs when one has an unbiased third party take a look at their life looking back"*
- *"The opportunity to get my mph work with urban communities and learn about the challenges faced by urban populations when seeking health care has changed the way that i view medicine entirely"*
- *"sometimes the path that we envision for ourselves is not the best path by continuing to push forward in the face of adversity and despair something better than we could ever imagine is waiting just ahead"*
- *"my story may be imperfect but i wouldn't have written it any other way"*
- *"one it is okay to be sad and to cry two it is not a weakness to ask for help and three people come into and leave our lives for a reason"*