What are the ways to create balance in life? | Bahar Jaff | TEDxNishtiman
URL: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=clkpWvILV0Q Video ID: clkpWvILV0Q ============================================================ [Music] we all wear a mask once we get out of our homes and comfort zones to cover up the real us why because we're all afraid of being judged today i'm throwing mine away my name is bahar jav i'm an entrepreneur an investor a life coach and a single mom till now because of circumstances i have started my life with a blank page three times but i have succeeded because i made a choice to succeed i'll be talking about the chain of balance and its ingredients balance is not something we have or we find it's something we create so what does balanced living mean balanced living mean you have to consider all aspects of your life and what are these aspects physical mental emotional social financial and spiritual and what do these aspects need let's start with physical you have to be willing to have a healthy body mind and soul life because this at the end will determine the quality of your lifestyle mental in order to be mentally stable you need patience you have to give all the time you need to recognize who you are to heal to build and to grow in life emotional this is all about passion passion is the mother of all emotions you tell me how can you be balanced if you're not passionate about what you do and life anymore it's impossible social it's all about people approaching with love is so much more powerful than approaching with hate be loving be caring be considerate to yourself and to others because people see hear and feel every single emotions and energy you put out there and this will affect your life in so many ways okay financial this needs determination you have to be determined to reach a certain level of financial security in life with hard work creativity strategy and not giving up spiritual i have to say this one was a hard one for me because i was a very practical person one plus one is two i thought it was easier like that but life is so much more meaningful when you believe in energy in your inner powers and the greater good so now what are the ingredients of a balanced living it's will patience passion love determination and believe all these points are connected to each other in a chain if you concentrate on one or neglect one you'll break the chain and it's just matter of time for a chain reaction because the balance is broken common sense isn't it if you want peace in your life you have to focus on incorporating balance in your daily living today i stand here on this stage not for me i stand here for you so i don't want you just to listen to what i say i want you to feel what i mean first i'm going to tell you how i use these ingredients in my own personal life at a certain point of my life i was depressed powerless and broken my life meant nothing i couldn't think clearly anymore and one day i went to the rooftop of my parents house and i looked down and i thought i could end all this this all could be over and suddenly i heard my daughter crying she kept crying and nobody was going to comfort her and while struggling with my own demons these thoughts came up how how am i going to leave her in this cruel world how am i not going to be there when she cries how am i going to abandon her crying saved my life that day and she has been saving me every day since that's when i decided to leave kurdistan and everything i built behind with two one-way tickets shadow of old me to a netherlands that i didn't recognize anymore it was a horrifying decision diving into the unknown but i had no choice but to believe in the greater good and that's when my healing and spiritual self-growth journey started see life never gives up on us we give up on ourselves you will always be judged you'll be judged by your look how you sit how you stand your dreams your achievement even your struggles don't make time and space for complaining regret and wasting time you have to always think how to improve yourself and take actions on it the first step of taking action is organizing you need a strategy in life in order to be balanced when i decided to work on myself i had nothing but myself and the internet so i started reading more watching documentaries listening to people's stories and get inspired by them i was looking for guidance everywhere i was searching for balance but the problem was i couldn't find it and then i realized something along the way i lost my passion so again how can you be passionate about life how can you be balanced if you're not passionate about life anymore this time i was determined to rise i had to learn again who i was at age of 40 what i wanted and what were my capabilities that's when strategy started kicking in so how did i do that for some reason i got inspired and wanted to be part of the concept of the am club i needed something to shock my whole system so i started waking up every single morning at 5 00 am go for an hour walk run while listening to motivational speeches and then another hour meditate every single day filter my thoughts my feelings my emotions and my goals that was a routine i stuck to before doing my actual day till this day so what happened after about five six weeks things started to clear up i started visualizing again looking at life from a total different perspective i started putting down deadlines taking courses engaging with people that would only inspire me or feed my soul with positivity after a while i started being stable opportunities were showing up this was definitely working for me by filtering yourself in such way helps your mind and soul to clear up you start building accepting and loving this new you by the way this process doesn't come with glitters and unicorns it's hard it's intense and believe me it's very exhausting to confront yourself every single day took me more than one and a half years to get to the start that i wanted it needed a lot of patience and time so by using these ingredients i managed to create for myself a balanced life this was about me now i'm going to tell you how i use these same ingredients on a wild animal we have here mr fox once a while i take a break from my hectic life this time i rented a chalet middle of nowhere and at night what i thought it was a dog turned out to be a fox it was cold he was hungry but he was too scared i tried to feed him but he ran away but because of my passion for animals i couldn't let go i truly believed that i could change him so i started leaving food for him outside and i would be behind the window and just watch him how he would eat after a while i needed to build some trust so i need to go outside which i did there was a little bit of progress he came but he was still too scared and he needed deeper trust by showing him love i gave him that space he needed i respected that then i had to be creative because i wanted more and because i saw that little bit of progress now i was determined to change him so i gave him some chicken sharma and cheese and he loved it and our bonding started that night to be honest no that's not working yeah you see how he loved it and how i know next day he started waiting for me in the morning that was another progress so i thanked him by slice of pizza now i was definitely not giving up every step i'm seeing in progress it was time for barbecue he got the smell and he came and then this happened he started taking the food from my hands he was enjoying the chicken very much he was still confused and he wouldn't understand all these new feelings that were happening he was trying to approach i was scared it's not working he was confused i just i was scared because at the end it's a wild animal but the will was much bigger and stronger than the fear i needed more from him i needed to invest more time more food and have more patience to get what i wanted and then we became friends and he started guarding my place till the day we left so with the same ingredients i managed to change and tame a scared wild animal to be my guardian and of course i couldn't have achieved that if i wasn't balanced so can you imagine what you can do with these ingredients in life with it you will be the only power you need to pursue your goals the only way to do that is for it to be your lifestyle and it needs ultimate commitment with the right mindset and attitude you can unlock your true potentials stay focused and think out of the box i'm not here to teach you i'm here to share my story and to guide you your life is your own responsibility all the hard work you have to do yourself but remember this failing doesn't mean quitting it means try again and again and again when you don't try that's when you fail and that's on nobody but yourself it's a simple math but a complicated process and as the saying goes a good day is a good day and a bad day is a good story thank you everyone for coming [Applause] [Music] you